Elizabeth Taylor

Earlier this week, Elizabeth Taylor got on her Twitter to ask all of you to quit thinking about dicks or vaginas for a minute (I know that was hard) and say a little prayer for her. Elizabeth went into the hospital to get a leaky heart valve fixed. Well, the surgery went off without a hitch and Elizabeth is back to Twittering. She wrote this last night:

"Dear Friends, My heart procedure went off perfectly. It's like having a brand new ticker. Thank you for your prayers and good wishes. I know they all helped. Love you, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth is now as good as new and will probably outlive silicone. Even though she's all good now, she should continue to take her medicine:

Actually, maybe that's not the best medicine for Liz. That wolf dog's "Ah Ruv Uuuuu" howl will probably be the soundtrack to my nightmares tonight.

VIA Cute Overload

Elizabeth Taylor has to go into the hospital to get her heart fixed, and has asked everyone to send her good thought balloons while she's in there. Elizabeth told everyone on her Twitter before those pesky papers got a hold of the info first. Elizabeth wrote:

"Dear Friends, I would like to let you know before it gets in the papers that I am going into the hospital to have a procedure on my heart. It's very new and involves repairing my leaky valve using a clip device, without open heart surgery, so that my heart will function better. Any prayers you happen to have lying around I would dearly appreciate. I'll let you know when it's all over. Love you, Elizabeth."

So check under your bed, seat cushions and panty drawer for prayers (or nice thoughts) to send to Elizabeth.

Dame Elizabeth Taylor has a serious memawboner for her longtime friend/business partner Kathy Ireland. Ever since the new season of Dancing with the Stars started, Liz has been singing Kathy's praises on her Twitter account. You'd think she was talking about Shauna Sand.

It's just Kathy Ireland! I know she changed the face of TV with her thrilling portrayal of Brittany Maddocks on four episodes of Melrose Place, but DAMN! Here's what Dame Liz had to say about the glowingly beautiful Kathy:

I'm so excited to see Kathy Ireland on Dancing With The Stars! She is so beautiful.
1:52 PM Aug 17th from web

To watch her in movement will be a golden chance to see beauty in action and grace which is what that lady is all about.
1:54 PM Aug 17th from web

She is beauty personified because it glows from within and takes her on wing.
1:54 PM Aug 17th from web

All of you who are watching Kathy Ireland on DWTS tonight...please vote for her. The # is on the screen. She's so gorgeous, isn't she!
5:13 PM Sep 22nd from web

Saw Dancing With The Stars tonight. Didn't think the judges were fair to Kathy Ireland.
about 15 hours ago from web

Kathy was delightful, gorgeous and fit the music they chose perfectly. If they ever do a remake of The King and I she should star in it.
about 15 hours ago from web

You know Dame Elizabeth set up a calling room in her mansion and makes her main gays dial for Kathy all night. They only take breaks to rub one of Kathy Ireland's lamps from Lamps Plus for luck.

If Kathy ever gets voted out, the judges better sleep with a taser between their crotch, because Dame Elizabeth will be coming for them!

(Thanks Stormy)

Cindy Adams of The New York Post says that Elizabeth Taylor was hospitalized in Los Angeles yesterday, because she has the sads in a major way. A source said that ever since her best friend Michael Jackson passed away, she's been in a terrible state.

Apparently, Elizabeth has not received rainbow-filled hugs from the family either. The source says that Elizabeth wanted to attend Michael's private funeral, but she was banned by the family, because she was his friend and not theirs. Take that with a grain of salt, because Elizabeth already Twittered that she was going to mourn Michael on her own, because she didn't want to be part of the "public whoopla."

The source added that Elizabeth is suffering from exhaustion.

You know, there should be some kind of fluffy kitten network for situations like this. Liz just needs to eat a lot grilled cheese sandwiches while watching kittens play 24-hours a day. It'll cheer her up a little. Kind of like the Shiba Inu PUPPY cam. Actually, scratch that. That's not a good idea, because when the Shiba Inu puppy went completely dark, so did my no-heart (again).