Buying Children

 

This is just too ridiculous for words. The News of the World claims Brit Brit Spears is adopting Chinese twins. Cue the gong! This joke just went sour. She is apparently working with an adoption agency and finalizing the adoption. The twins are said to be 6-years-old and Britney is hoping they will feel the hole left in her heart from losing her boys to KFed.

 

And the jokes keep coming! The News of the World also reports that she's afraid she's going to die soon, so she's spending $50,000 to plan her funeral now.

 

A source said, "It doesn't seem that Britney has thought this through completely. Adoption and a funeral? The two don't exactly go hand-in-hand. Paying for a funeral is a sensible thing to do—but not when you're only 25!"

$50,000?! What a cheap ass. Well, I guess that can buy a lot of Frito pie and Possum stew.

 

If Britney adopts Chinese twins, I will seriously eat my own toe nails on camera. I'll even add some jam in there. China is probably pulling a fast one on her and is giving her two Chinese REAL DOLLS and she's gonna fall for it. "Mah new Chyneeese babies! All tha luv I need 4 eva!"

 

 

 

For some reason kids and tweens are all into that Miley Cyrus girl aka Hannah Montana. I feel old just writing about her. In my day we were all idolozing New Kids on the Block and now those men are this close to enterting a rest home. Depressing.

 

SO....some dude named Jody Powell from Florida entered a contest held by WFLZ-FM. The prize was tickets to Miley's concert in Tampa. Miley's tour is said to be the hottest tick of the year. 

 

35-year-old Jody held on to a 12-foot "Hannah Montana" statue for 6 days beating out 19 others to win 4 tickets to the show, backstage passes and a $5,000 prize. He did it for his 7-year-old daughter.

 

The contestants were given 12-minute breaks every 3 hours.

 

Before winning Jody made a deal with the runner-up. He gets the tickets, she gets the backstage passes and they split the $5,000 prize.

 

Now that's dedication! My daddy wouldn't let go of his poker chips for less than a minute let alone hold on to something for more than 5 minutes. I know, sob story.  

 

 

 

 

A Brangelina insider told the Daily Mail that the couple will adopt a baby from Burma. They have asked one of the country's leading monks to help them. Angelina is desperate to help Burma and feels that adopting a baby girl there would gain awareness.

 

A source said, "Angelina feels she is barely making a dent in the suffering she sees throughout the Third World as she travels incognito to different countries as a United Nations representative.

"She wants to step up her action in what she calls Red Alert areas, the most seriously troubled, war-torn areas in the world. She's in talks to go into Burma and help with students and AIDS victims who are suffering terribly."

We all know how these Brangelina adoption rumors work. Sometimes they stick and sometimes they don't.

Obviously these children have better lives now that they are in the royal family, but that media circus can't be pleasant. I mean crowds stand out in front of Maddox's school every single day waiting for them. They should just start their own damn school. They have enough kids. They can call it "Maddox's House of Hard Knocks."

Oh and Zahara is quickly becoming the main star of that gang.

 

 

"Gonna take some time to do the things we never haaaaaad!" Sorry everytime I hear the word Africa I think of that damn Toto song. Did they even have any other hits? That's my favorite elevator jam of all-time.

 

So...Weeds star Mary-Louise Parker has adopted a little baby girl from Africa. Her rep declined to give any kind of information. Mary-Louise and her new bundle were spotted all over Los Angeles over the weekend. Mary-Louise, 43, has one 3-year-old son with Billy Crudup. Remember, he left her ass knocked up for Claire Danes. What a skank he is!

 

I like her and I like the fact that she was low-key about it or is it that nobody cares? Well, good for her I say!  

 

Source: People

 

 

 

If it's not a Brangelina adoption rumor, it's a Madonna adoption rumor! This time there are reports that the big M will adopt a little girl from Malawi. She has reportedly picked out a 13-month named Mercy. She spotted the girl after looking at 10 girls last October.

 

According to The Sun , Madonna will travel to Africa in April to pick her up. Mercy beat out two other girls to win a place in Madonna's family. A source claims M wants a girl to balance out her household. She currently has 2 sons and 1 daughter.  

 

She has also instructed her lawyer to cover all legal bases, because she doesn't want another adoption nightmare.

 

I can picture Madge strolling into the orphanage, lining those girls up and going over them with a measuring tape and scale.  

 

Let's just say I'll believe it when I see it! A few months ago there was that rumor about her adopting another boy, but she does have an album coming up to promote...hmm...

 

 

 

The Daily Mail reports that Angelina Jolie will travel to Ethiopia to buy another baby. They claim she will go there in 3-months and pick out a new baby in hopes that it will patch up her relatinoship with Brad Pitt as well as making Zahara feel more at home in their family. This would be Angelina's 4th adopted baby.

 

A source said, "Angie in particular feels very strongly that while Shiloh will grow up seeing the family resemblance between herself and her natural parents, and Maddox and Pax will feel a connection through their birthplaces, Zahara has no such close-knit bond.

"They hope that by finding an Ethiopian brother or sister - preferably sister - for her, it will help Zahara feel more comfortable and happy in her own skin."

A few months ago there were rumors that Angelina was going to get another baby from Asia and that never happened, so I'm sure this is just a rumor.

In reading this article I also learned that Angie has a tattoo with the map co-ordinates of the country of each of her adopted children.

Click here to see it.

By the time she's 40, that shit is going to be hitting her wrist.

 

 

Some people purchase t-shirts, keychains, lighters or mugs from the places they visit. Brangelina buys babies! According to reports Angelina Jolie is interested in picking up a little souvenir from Prague, a baby boy. The Jolie-Pitt clan are in Prague while Angie shoots her latest flick.

 

The Sun UK reports that after visiting a Catholic orphanage she became enamored with a little boy.

 

A source said, "Angelina celebrated her 32nd birthday yesterday and had told Brad she felt it was time to extend the family again. Her maternal instincts are in overdrive and she felt a bond with the kid straight away. She called Brad and said she had found a child who would fit in perfectly with the other kids."

 

This would be child #5 if it happens. Didn't this bitch just complain about not having even "mommy/daddy" time, but yet she wants to add another kid to their group?

 

The funny thing is everytime I hear rumors about them buying another baby I think "nooo..." but it always turns out to be true!  

 

Bitches are starting a cult I know it! First, they buy all these babies. Then they invite the Brangaloonies to their new compound and then the brainwashing begins!  

 

Souce: Starpulse

 

 

45-year-old Sheryl Crow has confirmed on her website that she's adopted a 2-week-old boy she's calling Lance Sucks. Ok, no she's not calling him Lance. She named him Wyatt after her father. The child was made in the USA and her rep won't give anymore details.  

 

Buying American, eh? This may be the start of a new trend. That being said, congrats to horsey and her new pony!

 

Source: People

 

 

Jessica Simpson's #1 stalker, her daddy Joe Simpson, is considering managing Britney Spears. Sources tell Rush & Molloy that he tried to set up a meeting with her this past weekend, but it feel through. Probably, because dumbass Britney was driving all the way to Barstow to get a burger at a taco place! I still can't get over that.

 

Anyways, Joe Simpson's rep denies all this. Sources say that if Britney signs with Joe she won't be in direct competition with Jessica. Since Jess' music career sucks, Joe has put her in the movies and endorsing products.

 

If this ever happens, you know Brit and Joe are going to have an affair. SICK! Joe's probably already jacking it to the pictures of her in those shorty shorts. He can't wait to run his fingers through that beat wig.

 

 

 

“Maybe I will adopt somewhere down the road if that is the only way to bring a child into my life.
There are lots of children that need a home in America. I feel we have forgotten about our own kids. With Brad and Angelina it’s whatever works for them.”

 

Source VIA ONTD