Katy Perry

At the premiere of the new Michael Jackson movie This Is It in Los Angeles yesterday, this lady stood for hours with her eyes poppin' out and her perfect eyebrows waiting to pounce as soon as Detective La Toya hit the red carpet. Unfortunately, the woman's (and my) dreams were crushed into dust, because La Toya never graced the crowd with her glamour. La Toya refused to see the film, because she wants to keep a clear head to help her with the ongoing investigation to get to the bottom of EVERYTHING. And because La Toya said Michael would've never wanted his rehearsal footage to be made into a feature film. La Toya would know since I'm sure Michael communicated this to her using morse code.

Even though La Toya wasn't there, the premiere was still attended by a giant cast of characters. Some of these bitches would show up to the opening of a dick hole as long as cameras were there (I'm looking at you, Wonky).

Below is: Celestia (and her son who is trying to get away from her), Steve Sanders, Tito Jackson, Jackie Jackson, Marlon Jackson, Jermaine Jackson, JLo, JLove, Jaime Kennedy, Joey McIntyre, Katy Perry, Glamberace, Lou Ferrigno (with his glamorous wife), Neil Patrick Harris, Paula Abdul, Rosanna Arquette, Vivica Fox, Will Smith and some bottom shelf call girl.

Yes, I'm with you on that headline, but it's Saturday morning, so I just can't! Anyway, here's Katy Perry doing the walk of pride (or shame) outside of Russell Brand's manwhore palace in London this morning. Usually The Center for Disease and Control is there to meet any chicks leaving Russell's house, but Katy must have called them to tell them she wore a full-body condom suit while she was there and marinated her hair in Listerine before she left so there was no need for them to stop by.

Kary and Russell reportedly just came back from having a good ole' fucking kinky sexy time in Thailand. Last night, they went to a party in London together.

I can't really blame Katy since I'd probably venture into Russell's crotch flea bush too even though I'd get a lecture from the free clinic afterwards. Wouldn't be the first time.

And IN THIS ECONOMY, at least Katy and Russell can share leggings....and panties?