Jocelyn Wildenstein

It's Monday morning for some of us, which means that you might be wishing that you were sitting in a booster seat at Applebee's while sipping on a margarita that's supposed to be apple juice (shout out to the drunk ass Applebee's baby!) instead of working. Unfortunately, I don't have a sippy cup full of margarita for you, but I have the next best thing: the intoxicating beauty of Jocelyn Wildenstein! Get drunk on this "Excuse My Beauty" shit.

Jocelyn shook the kitty litter crystals off of her paws, stepped away from the scratching post for a second and put on her best feline lacefront to take her sweet piece Lloyd Klein out for a steak dinner at Boa in L.A. on Saturday night. Yes, Jocelyn still looks like if someone carved the face of a squinting Siamese cat into a swollen boil and I'm sure Asian groups are still blasting her for permanently making fun of Chinese people, but her face is really starting to settle down and walk with the lord.

Lloyd Klein knows what I'm talking about. Just look at the way he's puckering from every orifice. It's like Jocelyn's ravishing beauty has taken the breath from his nipple holes, no-no and peen mouth. Or maybe they're just cringing out of fear.

Courtney Love must be sick of ventriloquists randomly sticking their fists up her ass to get her to speak, because she has vowed that she will never put her parts under the knife again. Courtney told The Sun that she was scared straight after staring at the luminous face of Jocelyn Wildenstein!

Courtney said, "I could do with another boob lift, but no way. I don't want to end up looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein. She looked freaky."

EXCUSE HER BEAUTY! This just confirms that Courtney Love is just like that crackhead leprechaun of Alabama: on the wrong stuff! Who wouldn't want the face of a hemorrhoid in mid-squeeze? I mean, Jocelyn's beauty is so scorchingly hot that her face singes her own eyebrows (example above).