Hot Slut of the Day

JoAnna Cameron - Star of the 1970s children's show The Secret of Isis - JoAnna first played Isis on Shazam! and her hotness was so popular that they gave homegirl her own show. The Secret of Isis was the first live-action TV show ever to star a chick superhero. Bitch has got Wonder Woman beat! When Isis ended in 1976, Joanna went on to star in a few other shows, but she later sort-of retired from acting and ended up doing marketing for hotels.

In a recent interview, JoAnna says she's ready for a comeback, "I wouldn't turn down working in the industry, but it also takes them to be proactive and call me!" Why isn't most of Hollywood on the phone to JoAnna right now?! Get the hell up and make the call! If a shit show like Melrose Place can be on TV, then so can The O Mighty Isis! Watch the clip below so you can see what I'm talking about. I mean, those glasses alone deserve more airtime.

Chrissy Amphlett of the Divinyls - Today is the golden anniversary of Chrissy's life, and it got me wondering if she's ever been la mujerzuela caliente del día. After checking my files, I learned that she hasn't. ILLEGAL! This is mind boggling since I"m sure that 99.9% of us have given wet lap dances to both "I Touch Myself," "Make Out Alright" and "Pleasure and Pain." Chrissy has helped us sluts be sluttier and we owe her everything for that. So put on your school girl outfit and thrust your fuck parts for Chrissy today!

The Lady Elegance Hair Coloring Brush - Have you been using a regular old brush to dip into a bowl of dye before applying it to your hair (just nod your head yes)? Well, this is the product for you! All you have to do is fill the Lady Elegance Hair Coloring Brush with your choice of dye (or non-toxic paint bought on sale at Home Depot) and brush away to a NEW YOU! It has the word "elegance" in the title so you know it will make you look like the perfect picture of refinement! Or it'll make you look like a major asshole, because you'll have hair dye all over your face. Either or!

I love how the model chick doesn't even trust this shit enough to put on her real hair. If it's good enough to put on a broke down polyblend wig, it must be safe to use on your natural hair, right?

And now you know what to get Kate Gosselin for Possum Day!

Althea Harper from Project Runway - Althea may look like she just wrestled Bret Michaels' bandanna weave on the Rock of Love Bus, but homegirl is an expert at the sewing machine instead of at the pole. Althea is proof that you shouldn't judge a ho by its cover, because when I first laid eyes on her, I thought to myself, "This Brooke Hogan-ish chick ain't going to do shit!" And my ass was every shade of wrong. Althea not only has the best personality on the show, but she's also one of the best deeeeeezigners (as Heidi would say) around those parts.

Imbi! - Whatever happened to Baby Jane?! This is what happened to Baby Jane! She went off to Australia, discovered the good shit, changed her name to Imbi and is now trying to become a pop star by putting these flashback-inducing videos on YouTube! This is what happens when you give your mom a camcorder for Christmas! She gets dizzy on Chardonnay one night, kidnaps a little person, breaks into the local pre-school and makes art like this!

And if you want more tabs of acid on your tongue, visit Imbi's YouTube Channel.

(For Tapesong)

Nestle's Abuelita Hot Chocolate - The only hot chocolate on the market that will slap you in the mouth with a chankla if you look at it wrong.

(Thanks to all who sent this in)

John & Edward Grimes - The Glittery Twins of X-Factor (aka The Divas of Dublin) - In the UK, they know what true entertainment is, or maybe they just love to torture their eardrums and violate their own eyeballs. Maybe it's a little of both.

But anyway, Simon Cowell called John & Edward's performance of Brit Brit's "Oops! I Did It Again," the worst piece of shit he's ever seen. Simon is obviously spinning lies, since you know that performance made the fur on his tits stand up and SALUTE! I know my peen hole could probably sing a better version of that song while gargling, but it could never put on a performance like that. I mean, the "scene" between the twins during their performance probably made Woody Allen smile. It's NOT RIGHT in a SO RIGHT kind of way. Judge for yourself:

And why is X-Factor so much fancier than American Idol? American Idol needs more polished brass luggage carts and big flames (I'm not talking about John & Edward).

(For Ben C.)

Yvonne Sabato - Antonio Sabato Jr.'s mother and his puppetmaster on his Vh1 reality show My Antonio. Yvonne's job on the show is to show up in low-budget glamorous outfits, deliver at least three Alexis Carrington-approved shank eyes to Antonio's skanks and to destroy his ex-wife Tully who is a contestant on the show. Basically, she's the Dynasty portion of Antonio's reality show thus making her very very important.

Michael Gray - Star of the 1970s Saturday morning TV series Shazam!. Shazam!, which was campier than Glamberace's Bar Mitzvah, ran from 1974 to 1977, and starred Michael as a boy who had the power to transform into Captain Marvel (played by a totally different actor). Since Michael knew that he would never ever be able to top the glory that was Shazam!, he shut down his acting career and retired from the business. Michael now runs a flower shop in West Hollywood, CA with his wife. Yes, Michael went from acting alongside a hunk in tights to selling flowers in West Hollywood. THE LIFE: Michael is living it! Below is the opening credits to Shazam!:

The Daddy of the Year (Jon Gosselin, take notes) and his 9 chirruns - Spread this sappy ass story on your hangover, and then yank it off really fast. It will stop the room from spinning and the barfs from traveling up your throat tunnel. It will!

A chihuahua daddy with a deformed leg (awwww) arrived at an Animal Care Services building in Texas with his 9 baby friends (double awww) looking for help. The chihuahua daddy was so determined to get his family to safety that he led all of them across a busy highway even though he has an effed up leg (triple awwwww). Employees at the ACS said this is the first time that a dog actually came in by himself without being brought in by a person or officer (quadruple aww).

The ACS think the dogs were dumped off on the side of the road by some evil doers. All of them are doing fine now even though that have a bad case of mange and ringworm (aka Wino-itis). It will take a few months to treat them, but they will be available for adoption after that.

I hope whoever adopts their asses keeps them all together. Don't force the daddy chihuahua with a deformed leg to make a SOPHIE'S CHOICE.

Source (via Fark)