Hot Slut of the Day

Grace Coddington - The creative director at Vogue and the true star of The September Issue! - So, my gay ass went to see The September Issue yesterday thinking that Anna Wintour's stone cold bitchery was going to be the star of that shit, but I was wrong. Grace Coddington wraps that shit up easily! First of all, Grace dresses like a gothic orderly. Seriously, I think she wears black scrubs through most of the movie. Second of all, she's one of the only hos who will pull the ice pick out of Anna's ass and stand up to her. And she's a ginge. Ginge always wins!

Marian Pinchot, Orange County's best hostess - The OC Register did a profile on 82-year-old Marian Pinchot, who you can find bringing the glamour hardcore to Polly's Pies in Huntington Beach, CA. The OC Register interviewed 82-year-old Marian after they received tips claiming that she is Orange County's greatest hostess who ever hosted.

Before Marian was a hostess at Polly's, she had dinner there a few times a week for over 15 years. Marian said after her second husband passed away, Polly's became her place. About four years ago, the manager of Polly's offered her a job as hostess. Marian hadn't worked since 1999, but she took the job. And the rest is history! Marian said, "I plan to stick around as long as I can keep movin'"

Not only is Marian the greatest hostess in The OC, but she might have the greatest eyebrows too. You better pop a Beta Blocker before you go into Polly's, because your heart will spaz out like a Wino upon gazing at Marian's majestic eyebrows! I bet you the spider's in heaven have legs like Marian's eyebrows. Marian could seat me in the dumpster out back and I'd do it just to take one good look at her brows of perfection and "take me higher" eyeliner. This is exactly the kind of glamour all restaurants need!

(For Lisa)

Miyuki Hatoyama, Japan's soon-to-be first lady - Miyuki, the 66-year-old wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, is already a media sensation thanks to her crazy obsession with aliens, among other things. Did you heard that loud queef outside? It was Tommy Girl's Scientohole flapping so loud while he was sprinting towards Japan. And Tommy Girl knows Miyuki! More on that later.

Miyuki wrote a book last year called "Very Strange Things I've Encountered" which includes a chapter about how while her body was sleeping her soul rode on a UFO to Venus. When she woke up, Miyuki told her husband about it who farted off her story, "My current husband has a different way of thinking."

In her younger days, Miyuki was a dancer/singer in an all-female theatrical troupe. During an interview a few months ago, Miyuki says she wants to go back to performing and hopes to star in a major Hollywood motion picture one day with Tommy Girl, because she truly believes he was Japanese in his past life. Miyuki said, "I have a dream that I still believe will come true, which is to make a film in Hollywood. The lead actor is Tom Cruise, of course. Why? Because I know he was Japanese in a previous life." Miyuki said Tommy Girl would definitely recognize her if they saw each other today, because she met his little crazy ass in a past life. In that same interview, Miyuki closed her eyes and grabbed and ate imaginary pieces from the sky after saying, "I also eat the sun."

Today, Miyuki is a "life composer" in Japan. She makes all her own clothes including a dress made out of hemp coffee bags.

Move over, Ty Ty Banks, there's a brand spanking new First Lady of CRAZY!!!!! And she is awesome. Seriously, only on the magical Hello Kitty planet that is Japan.

Can you imagine if Michelle Obama walked outside with just one finger nail decorated like that? Every news station would immediately stop what they were broadcasting and analyze that shit at great length!

Source

(For Adrianne)

Alex Kearns - IN THIS ECONOMY, a bitch has gotta do what a bitch has gotta do to get a check! 23-year-old Alex Kearns graduated from Swansea University with a degree in French and Italian and just couldn't find a job. Instead of sleeping all day in his mother's basement, Alex decided to take the streets. Alex hung his giant resume in London's Trafalgar Square and walked around holding up a sign that read "Give Me A Job!" Alex is kind of hot, so you know some slutty bitches offered to give him a blow job, an ass job and a nipple job. And if I lived in London, one of those slutty bitches would've been me. Well, he's offering!

Alex's stunt actually worked! An HBIC from an International Business Development Group saw Alex's plea for a job and called him for a telephone interview. Alex was then brought in for testing and they offered his ass a position. Alex is now working as a sales associate at their company. Alex told the Daily Mail, "I saw it as a golden opportunity to sell myself. I had applied for hundreds of jobs but nobody was giving me a chance. And it worked, my new boss said he was impressed that I had some get-up-and-go."

Keedy - I had completely forgotten Keedy ever existed on this planet earth until my friend brought her name up the other day and then it all came coming back! POLKA DOTS! Why does it seem like the early 90s was all about polka dots, giant sunflowers and cloudy blue skies?

Anyway, Keedy was a singer from the early 90s who had a semi-hit with "Save Some Love." I remember this song, because they did it on Kids Inc. Keedy was like a foreign version of Martika, even though she's from Wisconsin!

Unfortunately, Keedy's debut album never went anywhere, so she moved back to Wisconsin, got married and now she's making music with her husband under the name Royce & Keedy.

Dawn Fraser - A four-time Olympic gold medalist, contestant on Australia's Dancing with the Stars and now an expert dick bone kicker. You know, one of the rules of life is that you don't fuck with (or annoy) a memaw, because they just don't give a dick. Especially a memaw on vacation! Some dude who was trying to rob 71-year-old Dawn learned this lesson the hard way.

Dawn said she was at her daughter's house when a man broke through the front gate and came at her, "This guy came out of the gate and grabbed me and I grabbed him by the ear and I kicked him in the groin. So he had to let me go. He threatened my life and I got really annoyed about that and just grabbed him by the ear and the hair. I have got a titanium knee so it must have hurt him. I came up for a holiday and here I am being threatened with my life and all our sort of security has been taken."

The cops were called and two dudes were arrested.

That's right. Who cares if they threatened to kill her ass, they threatened to eff up her vacation and that is worse. Annoying is right! Keep breaking evil bitches with your titanium knee, Dawn.

(For Micah)

Kitty from The Young and the Restless - Last night, I posted some terrifying pictures of Stacy Haiduk carrying around a stuffed cat as her purse to the Daytime Emmy Awards last night. The creepy cat of my nightmares is actually Stacy's co-star on the Young and the Restless. Stacy plays Mary Jane, a crazy bitch who thinks her dead cat is real. Jennifer Aniston, this is your future.

Surprisingly enough, Kitty did not win Best Actress at last night's awards. That dead pussy has more life in her eyes than most of the bitches on daytime TV. ROBBED! Kitty will get 'em next year!

Claudia Neidig - Claudia is a German actress who has done a bunch of movie stuff in her country, but she is best known to US audiences for her role in National Lampoon's European Vacation. In the movie, Claudia plays a German girl who bares her chichi dumplings to Rusty for absolutely no reason. This was an important scene for me as a kid, because as far as I can remember, this is the first time I saw bare tittays in a movie. I think. I kept wondering why her nipples were almost the same color as her tit skin. Clorox maybe?

After the jump is a grainy picture of Claudia baring her booby cakes to Rusty. While you look at that, I'm going to try to remember the first time I saw a peen on the screen. These are the moments of our LIVES!!! JUMP!!

Mischief the cursing cat (not verified) of Australia - Robert 'RJ' Duncan of the Northern Territory of Australia claims his cat has a Dlisted-approved vocabulary. According to Robert, Mischief can say up to seven words: mum, no, now, what, why, fuck and prick yet. Robert says that Mischief has been known to call him a "fucking prick" on many occasions.

Robert, who might be on the wrong stuff, said, "He can't say 'dad' yet, which is a bit of a prick. That's how he got the word 'prick' I reckon, because I say it a lot. In the evening time, if you don't drop whatever you're doing and pay attention to him, he calls you 'fucking prick'. If he really cracks the sh-ts, he'll piss in his drinking water just to let you know he's really shitty."

But when the Northern Territory News arrived so that Mischief could curse them the hell out, the puss wasn't say shit. On a second visit, Robert got Mischief to say "mum." Yeah, so Robert could be pulling all of our dicks (and probably is), but even a story about a swearing pussy works for me. I'm easy.

A Professor of Pussy in Australia is giving a side-eye to Robert's claims and thinks something in the milk ain't clean, "Cats don't engage the lips and tongue in the way a human does, which is needed to make consonants. I find it very hard to believe — their mouths aren't that mobile. How does a cat say a 'p', anatomically? I don't think it's possible."

If Mischief really can curse a trick out, then all we need to do is teach him the "cunt" word and he can be Dlisted's official spokespuss!

(For Amanda)

Michele, the Neuroscientist/invisible person from Big Brother 11 - So I'm watching the mega bitch fight between Jeff and Russell on Big Brother last night, when the camera suddenly cuts to someone I sort of recognize, but not really. Then I realize it's Michele! Then I realize that during every episode, I am reminded that Michele still exists! Michele is like a toilet brush in the bathroom. You don't remember you have one until you actually see it with your own eyes. For this reason alone, Michele is going all the way! She'll never be put up for eviction, because people will forget she's even there!