Brats

The television event of the century has been called off! Latarian Milton was supposed to fly to California next week to bring a little "hood rat stuff" to Judge Judy. Judge Judy has taken back her invitation after Latarian's memaw, Vikkita Stratford, told CBS12 that the Judge Judy show approached her about suing her own daughter.

Vikkita said the show requested she sue Latarian's mother for $5,000 to pay for the damages made to her SUV. The SUV that Latarian stole and took for a joy ride. The show was going to fly Latarian, his mommy and his memaw to California for the July 1st taping.

Judge Judy issued a statement saying she canceled the taping after finding out the shady deal, "Judge Judy does not believe in fostering litigation and if that is what happened, then canceling the case was the only option."

JJ only canceled the show to save face after she got caught!

I might as well throw my TV in the trash now that Hood Rat Stuff isn't going to be on it anytime soon. I shouldn't be so negative. Latarian will soon grace our television screens. He's on to bigger and better things like a co-starring role on "Cops" or his own show on Vh1. "Hood Rat Stuff of Love."

Latarian Milton is the little boy from Florida who took his memaw's SUV for joyride to do "hood rat stuff" with his friends. Later, he beat his memaw in front of the whole Wal-Mart because she wouldn't buy him chicken. It was just a matter of time before Hollywood came a knocking on Latarian's door! Well, sort of Hollywood. Latarian is expected to star in a very special episode of "Judge Judy." Latarian vs. Judge Judy: Battle of the Hood Rats! Seriously, those two are going to end up in a cage fight.

CBS12 reports that Latarian's memaw, Vikkita Stratford, is suing his mommy, Ashley Milton. Memaw Stratford thinks Ashley is to blame for Latarian stealing and ruining her SUV. She wants $5,000 in damages from Ashley.

Latarian, his memaw and his mother will all fly out to Hollywood next week to tape the episode which will air sometime in the Fall.

Oh shit! Lock up your cars and hide your chicken, California! Here comes Hood Rat Stuff!

Thanks Susan

According to US Magazine, MiserAlba has finally birthed her placenta laden infant. Previous rumors were that she named her Honor, but no name has been released and her rep whores have yet to comment.

She ought to be back to her pre-pregnancy size and weight by 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning thanks to the magic wonders of Hollywood lipo, needles and wet/dry vacs. What ever stupid name she gives her little bundle of misery, her golden brown chichi's better despense low-fat chocolate milk to make up for it.

She squeezed her daughter out at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles this weekend. Her and Cash wed on May 19 and moved into a $4 million Beverly Hills home with their three dogs.

Congrats MiserAlba!

Hood rat stuff! Dr. Phil recently featured Wendy and her 10-year-old son Noah. Ever since her young daughter passed away from cancer, Noah has been out of control. He has even called CPS and told them she was abusing him.

In the clip above, Noah slaps his mommy in the face. The woman must be on a 10-minute delay because it's like she doesn't realize that he slapped her in the face! I would've pulled some Matrix shit on his ass. Why didn't he save the slap for Dr. Phil?! Slapping your mom is not right. Slapping Dr. Phil is right. Please, teach your children this.

Noah and Latarian Milton should exchange business cards, so they can go and do "hood rat stuff" together.

VIA ONTD

Remember that little 7-year-old peach who took his memaw's car for a joyride last month? He said he did it because "doing bad things is fun" and he wanted to do "hood rat stuff with friends." Well, he's struck again. Literally. Latarian Milton was taken in for a mental health evaluation after he allegedly beat down his grandma inside a Wal-Mart in South Florida over some chicken wings.

Latarian's grandma, Vikkita Stratford, told WPBF that it all started when he asked her to buy him some chicken wings at Wal-Mart. When she refused, Latarian ordered them anyway. Vikkita went to confront him and that's when the party started.

She said, "He just started hitting me -- just started hitting me in front of the whole Wal-Mart. Every one in there was upset." Latarian was taken to a local hospital by police for a 72-hour mental health evaluation. Vikkita blames his parents. She said all he has "ever seen was his parents do physical and abusive and verbal things."

She also worried about what might happen once he gets released. She better be! Vikkita better lock all her doors, sleep with a bat by her bed and keep a necklace of garlic around her neck. Scratch that garlic. He'll just eat the garlic necklace right off of her.

I mean, he beat his grandma over Wal-Mart's chicken wings? That shit isn't even chicken! It's probably rat meat. He beat his poor grandma over rat meat!

This is reason #456 on why I don't have kids. The minute Latarian put his hands on me, I would immediately blackout. I would wake up in a padded room, in a straitjacket with a morphine drip in my arm.

VIA Crunk + Disorderly

Nancy Grace and her twin angels grace the cover of June's Good Housekeeping. Do you think she got $6 million like JLo did? Naw, Nancy got more. She's double the fun and double the crazy.

The twins seem like they've come to terms with living a life filled with misery. Nancy says, "These babies are my miracle." The babies say, "This bitch is our nightmare!" I fucking adore Nancy and her miserable babies. Hopefully, in a couple of years they would have stored enough money in their crib mattresses to run away.

Below is a clip of Nancy's angels from "The Soup." It hasn't been doctored. Ok, just a little, but you know it's true.

Source: Cover Awards

Usher is disgusted that anyone would ever think he would sell pictures of his precious baby, Usher. Yes, he named his baby Usher too. He said the rumors that he's trying to "pimp" out his baby are untrue and hurtful.

He told Page Six, "In no way would I ever pimp out my child for money. I am livid that people talk about my child." JLo is so offended by that comment. She doesn't pimp out her children! She's merely sharing the stunning beauty of her spawn with the world.....for millions of dollars.

Don't worry though. Usher posed with his baby Usher for the cover of Essence's Father's Day issue.

Usher also defended his husband wife, Tameka Foster, against the rumors that she doesn't get along with....just about everyone! He said, "I stand by her as a man loving my wife and being there for my child . . . Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one. What I will say is, this is my wife and I would hope that [people] would respect my wife and my marriage and who I have chosen to spend my life with."

The woman you've chosen to spend your life with is a dude and a cunt! Wait, is that not respectful? Oh well.

Stephanie Tanner is a mom! It seems like it was just yesterday when she was driving the family car into the kitchen and now she's a mother. Fuck, I'm elderly.

Jodie Sweetin gave birth to a baby girl yesterday reports People. Jodie and her husband, Cody Herpes...I mean Herpin, have named the 8 lbs. 7 oz baby, Zoie.

ZOIE?! ZOWIE! Here we fucking go again. Leave it to Stephanie Tanner to add a vowel to a perfectly fine name. It should be Zoe, not ZOIE! The extra "i" does not make it sound fancier. She should have named her "Duckface" in honor of Walter, Steph's secret boyfriend from "Full House."

Hopefully, the Olsens will be Zowie Herpes' godmothers. They can all share clothes!

Angelina Jolie could command up to $10 million for the first exclusive pictures of her twins. Celebrity weekly editors told Page Six that the business of buying baby pictures is out of control. Xtina reportedly got $1.5 million from People while JLo took home $6 million.

One editor said, "It's at the point now where some stars might decide to have more kids just to collect the money from their photos." Hmm....you hear that Tori Spelling? We're on to you!

Barry Levine of the National Enquirer said the weeklies don't mind paying, because their numbers go up and they can sell the pictures overseas, "It's outrageous, they've gotten very sophisticated. The rights are bought up now even before the celeb enters the hospital. They hire extra security so it's impossible to obtain a photo illegally." Barry said that in 1989 he paid Lisa Marie Presley $100,000 for her baby pictures.

If I was paying $10 million for pictures of two sleeping babies, I'd also want a lap dance from Brad, an autographed picture from Maddox and the secret to Angelina Jolie's hypnotic vagina.

I would be shocked and appalled if Brangelina sold off their pics. They think they are to good for that shit. Instead, they will commission a bronze statue of their new chosen ones that will sit outside the United Nations.

Brucie Willis' fetus girlfriend is starting to hang out with the family, so they are totally going to get married and have more babies. Not in that order of course. It's Hollywood. I still think the girl looks like an adolescent. She almost passes for one of Brucie's daughters, but she doesn't quite share the same "features" as them. She should be thankful for that. Here's Bruce and fetus girlfriend with Tallulah Willis and some other chick enjoying their Starfucks yesterday afternoon.