KFed

KFed's celebrating the big 3-0 at the douche dungeon aka Pure in Las Vegas next Friday. PageSix.com is claiming KFed is getting the greatest gift of all for his Birthday. He's getting cold hard cash from Pure. Sources tell them he's getting paid at least six figures and one source said he's making $175,000 for the night. "Kevin is a big spender, and a draw for the crowds. So the money he gets is nothing compared to the money they make" said one inside bitch.

Big spender my ass lips! Earlier this week, Brit's lawyer blasted KFed for wanting her to pay his legal bills because he makes more money than he lets on.

Paying money to be around drunk KFed fans sound like a fucking blast. I think I'll skip that tampon soiree and look for the pictures on Hot Chicks with Douchebags. That's what 99% of the club is going to look like.

The "One Tree Hill" producers should really think about adding KFed to their cast permanently. He really brings a certain dynamic to the show. A douche dynamic. Britney should be proud. His acting skills make her look like Meryl Streep. I do love hearing him say, "You think you were good? The only reason people were clapping is because I told them you were retarded." He probably said that to Britney once. He's using past experiences. He's a real actor!

Above is a clip from tonight's episode where KFed gets knocked out. He had it coming.

KFed's in NYC for fashion week and he attended the Marc Jacobs show last night. For what reason I'm not really sure. Can he even afford that shit? I guess with Brit Brit's money. And who is taking care of the kids? Quick! Take them away. He's an awful father.

Seriously though, is it wrong that I still get tingling in the private area for KFed. The cockatoo haircut is just taking me over the top. I want to hold on to his cockahawk and make him chirp and scream for more. Marc wants it too. Actually, Marc looks pretty ashamed. He's thinking, "This is what it's come to? Getting douche bags with cockahawks to come to my show?" Sadly, yes.

Wenn, Splash, Wireimage

KFed's reality show for E! has been put on hold, because of Brit Brit's drama. E! had planned to air a reality show featuring KFed as a working father. Riddle me this. Don't you have to actually work to be called a "working father." A source told The NY Post, "His plans are on hold because of the Britney situation. He had planned to do it, but not now."

A KFed reality show sounds like boring shit anyway. If I wanted to watch a douche sit around, smoking weed and making fart jokes I'd look in the damn mirror.

KFed is currently in NYC where he will attend the Marc Jacobs show tonight. Who's taking care of the kids? They better be on lock down just in case Brit finds out.

Image: Wireimage

Britney and KFed arrived at the L.A. County Courthouse this morning for the latest custody hearing. Brit was there to ask for her visitation rights back. She was not required to be there. TMZ reports that she went into the building, but never made it inside the courtroom. She bolted and left the building. When The Commish asked if she was going back, her attorney said, "I don't know whether she'll be here or not. I don't want to delay the hearing."

Brit's lawyer is asking The Commish to grant her visitation rights back in a "therapeutic setting."

That Britney is a funny one! She probably realized she wasn't at her local 76 gas station, so turned around. Osama fooled her! He told her they were going to get Slurpees. Damn him.

Bill Robles is a court artist and her rendering of KFed testifying in today's custody hearing is genius. He used her artist's touch to clearly portray just how douchey his fauxhawk is. It looks like Brit Brit attacked him and pulled his hair out with her teeth. That haircut is tragic. I can't wait to see what Bill does with Britney.

TMZ reports that Brit has just left her house and is on her way to the courthouse. That's until she sees Starbucks 2 for 1 Frapp sale. I just know Starbucks is going to try and sabotage her ass. They want to keep feeding her their crazy sauce. It's better for business.

Brit is expected to testify at 1:30pm. Yeah and then she'll get her "period" at 1:40pm and run out of that courthouse to the nearest AM/PM gas station. It's her safe haven.

UPDATE: Brit's in the building and will testify today so says CNN. Yes, CNN. Don't they have a war to cover or something? I mean...Britney? Anyway, the hearing will probably go on till tomorrow.

UPDATE II: Bitch bailed. She didn't get inside and won't testify. She flipped out after she saw all the media and headed back home. And by home I mean starbucks.

UPDATE III: I originally said KFed's drawing was by Mona Edwards, but it was really drawn by Bill Robles. Genius!

Source: AP

Thanks Kitty

Here's a clip from this Tuesday's "One Tree Hill" where KFed plays some rock dude. This shit makes the "rock" segments from Kids Incorporated look like death metal. I feel for the two actress that have to pretend that his shit is good. They probably had to film them separate, because those girls couldn't keep a straight face. There's a reason they are unsigned. They suck!

Rock out KFed! That head bob makes you so hardcore.

Click here if you can't see the video