Plastic Surgery

Tara Reid must've scared thousands when she bared her frankentummy in the Caribbean over the weekend. I mean didn't she say that she fixed that thing? It doesn't look like she did. I know she's broke, but I'm sure the Humane Society will lend her the dough to get that fixed. It's obscene!

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Just say no to botox y'all! Poor Melanie Griffith is slowly becoming a Joan Rivers look-a-like. I mean, I don't know if she's confused to see me or happy to see me. I think Melanie's fug face has taken its toll on Antonio Banderas. Here they are wandering the halls of Aspen for their Christmas break.

Source: Flynet

I was waiting patiently for LaToya Jackson to star in a reality show. Well, she's currently filming "Armed and Famous" in Muncie, Indiana. The show follows "stars" as they train to be police officers in Muncie.

In addition to LaToya the show also features Erika Estrada, Jack Osbourne, Wee Man from Jackass and pro-wrestler Trish Stratus.

The show will premiere on CBS. The stars will go through the normal officer training, graduate and then go out on duty with guns.

LaToya Jackson with a gun?! This show is going to be awesome. I seriously want to get pulled over by LaToya. I could easily argue that I went suffered police brutality from being forced to look at her mug!

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Jocelyn Wildenstein aka Freak Show aka Cat Lady appeared at her good friend Lloyd Klein's store opening in London on Tuesday night. Purrrfect. God, she's a beautiful creature. I say creature, because I'm not sure if she's human. I honestly don't know what to make of her. She's trying to kill me with these pictures and it's slowly working. I've seen masks that look more human and I'm not even being funny. Can she even open her mouth? So many questions!

That being said, I'd hit it...only from the back though.

Nicole Richie at the Disney Vault party

Page Six has a curious blind item today involving a Hollywood celebrity and gastric bypass. I can't help but think of Nicole Richie. The blind item also mentions that the girl recently had a stint in the hospital to reverse the gastric bypass. She was in "rehab", but only for one day. She could've went into the hospital just to get the gastric bypass reversed and then released the next day, no? This makes complete sense. I hope this is the case, cause maybe this means homegirl isn't an anorexic.

Rod Stewart has joined Joe Simpson in saying creepy things about their daughters. Rod thinks that Kimbo Stewart looks good now that she's had a boob job.

He said, "One of my daughters was a bit flat-chested so she had implants. She's got a lovely pair now. Nothing wrong with it, I reckon, if it does wonders for a girl's confidence."

' Um...gross. Yeah, too bad her face still looks like a Ouiji board. Ok, that didn't make sense but pretend it did. I'm lazy.

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Is it at all possible that Jodie Marsh has a stylist? If it is possible then is it possible that her stylist is a gay tiger with the shakes? I mean...who on Earth would put on this hideous mixture? Leave it to this piece of trash to figure something out of an old pair of overalls and disgarded lingerie from the discount bin at Frederick's. Anyway, she put this mess together at the DVD launch for Grease. I think she's supposed to be like a sexy mechanic from the Amazon. Homegirl needs to be put away.

She attended the party with some fag named Ricky Parfitt Jr. I mean even if he isn't gay, his name is. Jodie has terrible wonky eye, but that's from a load in the eye earlier in the evening.

It's a slow news day so I thought I'd cover this ho. I've seen her pictures here and have always wondered who this woman is? Apparently, Christine Peters is a movie producer. She's also married to a mega movie producer or something. I tried to find pictures of her when she looked normal, but no dice. Seriously, this is what happens to women when they move to Los Angeles. They get smog in the brains and makes themselves believes that this is hot. Poor bitch. She's just entered Wildenstein territory.

Pamela Anderson wore day-before-make-up as she attended last night's DVD release of Baywatch in Santa Monica. She also got her Halloween started early by channeling Elvira in a used-up dress. I like Pam, but she needs a 3-month nap. It would help if she removed her make-up every now and again too. These Baywatch hos are not holding up.

Pam laughed off rumors that she's knocked up with Kid Rock's baby. She said, "I think that's just what happens when you get together, but we already have three (kids), so not yet."

Joan Rivers ironically scaring young children at The NYC Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children

Joan Rivers scary-witch-face and myself wish you a happy and safe Halloweens! Try not to get too wasted and get gang raped by a group of men dressed as superheroes. If you do, use protection please. Oh and save me a Skor bar. Do they make that shit anymore?

xoxoxoMichael K