Plastic Surgery

 

Radar Online did this whole thing on what would celebrities look like if they went under the knife and fixed their flaws. Look at what they did to my gorgeous Adrien Brody?! Now he looks like he belongs on one of those CW or FOX shows. Generic. He looks better before with the Cyrano schnoze. Big schnozes make me think of big wangs and big wangs are always a good thing. Trust this.

 

They also "fixed" Kiki, Meryl, Bill, Kelly and Will among others.

 

They forgot Rumer Willis, but they probably figured she's a lost cause and no surgeon's knife can shrink her head.  

 

Visit Radar to see more 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Simon Cowell sat down with the Daily Mail to answer some questions about plastic surgery and about him being gay. Simon Cowell gay?! GROSS! No self-respecting gay man would wear baggy v-necks (looks down at my baggy v-neck).

 

When asked if he's had any sort of plastic surgery including pec implants, Simon said, "No, absolutely not. I have not had cosmetic surgery. Yes, I've had Botox, but not in an obsessive way. Then again, every guy I know who works in the City has had it now."

 

He also said his hair is completely real and it's not a wig. He doesn't dye it and it's all his. Lucky him.

 

And the gay issue? "If I was, why hide it? It's not as if the music business would be an odd place for a gay man to work. And anyway, if I was trying to hide the fact that I was gay, I would be off playing rugby every Saturday, wouldn't I?"

 

Thanks for that Simon. I was laying awake at night thinking "Is Simon Cowell homo? Wear a wig? Gets botox? Has real chi-chis?" Now I can sleep better.

 

While he's getting pricked in the forehead next time, he should look into getting pricked in the lips. Actually, you need to have a set of lips before you get them pricked. He has none. Maybe he can use some of his ass lips to construct a lovely pair. Ass lips!

 

 

 

Britney Spears hasn't been photographed for almost 4 or 5 days now. This must be a record! There may be a reason for that. The Daily Mail reports that Brit Brit had lipo in Las Vegas over the weekend. They also claim she had lipo last April. Those surgeons probably sucked out gallons and gallons of Frappuccinos. They probably send it back to Starbucks to reuse, so that Brit can get some kind of credit. 

 

Let's hope that bitch didn't go to Dr. Jan Adams! 

 

It's also been claimed that Brit is seeing two psychologists hired by her mother. She needs two, because one of them probably goes nuts listening to Brit and her made-up talk. The other psychologist is needed to counsel Brit's psychologist. 

 

AND there's more. Brit and KFed's lawyers will be in court on Friday regarding the tape of her running a red light with her kids in the back. Brit's lawyer said, "She was distracted. This was not blatant irresponsible driving on her part." 

 

That excuse can also be used to explain her entire life.

 

Image: Splash

 

 

 

 

56-year-old Jane Seymour has previously denied she had any plastic surgery done to her face or body. Well, she's come clean and now confesses to People Magazine she had breast implants and an eye lift.

 

Jane said she had implants put in for her role in "Wedding Crashers." In the movie Jane had her first ever topless scene. Going under the knife for that movie? That's kind of sad actually.

 

She told People that her implants were the smallest her surgeon had ever seen.  "My plastic surgeon had to special order them."

 

And why did she have her eyes lifted? "It was more than a decade ago. Genetically, I had baggy eyes and photographers said they didn't want to spend money endlessly having to eradicate them." Worst excuse ever! It's not like she was a professional model and having her picture taken every day. 

 

She also admitted to having Botox. 

 

"It was the worst thing. As an actress, I need my expressions." Yeah, you need your expressions to lie!

 

I feel betrayed and it's going to take me a while to forgive her, but I will. I still love Jane and think she's one sexy cougar, so I will just forget all the lies she's told me. It's time to heal.

 

 

 

I love, love, love Dr. Rey from "Dr. 90210" and apparently so do a bunch of D-list celebrities. Carmen Electra, Jewel and Bai Ling came out to support Dr. Rey's Instant Shape. Instant Shape is basically like Spanx and Dr. Rey is selling that shit at Sears and HSN. High-class! Dr. Rey claims Instant Shape allows women to wear two sizes smaller. Yeah, but can they breathe?!

 

The only thing that needs shaping is Carmen's hair! Bitch looks like she was mauled by a bear!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ahahah! This is a funny story. The Daily Mail reported a few weeks ago that Demi Moore splashed out $500,000 on plastic surgery to her face and body. They say that all her money was spent in vain and now the bitch needs a touch-up!

 

They claim she even spent $10,000 to have the wrinkles in her knees down.

Demi previously said she couldn't get hired in Hollywood, because she's old.

 

A plastic surgeon suggested Demi gets touched-up a little, "Basically she will need botox around her eyes to make her skin smoother. She should also consider using small injections of hyaluronic acids and multi-vitamins to improve the texture of her cheeks. 

"Other than that her skin seems to be in good condition."

No....she shouldn't get shit! She's fine the way she is now. If she starts injecting and shit she'll end up looking like Jessica Lange or fucking Melanie Griffith. Those cronies look like a mound of melted skin on top of a lollipop!

P.S. - I'm out of jury duty!!! I've completed my duties! They hate me! They really hate me!

 

 

Scientist Patrick Mallucci said he spent many hours looking at pictures of topless models and celebrities in order to figure out what the perfect pair of breasts look like. Patrick said the perfect breast has a nipple that points slightly skywards, and an upper half just a bit smaller than the bottom half.

 

Based on his theory, model and reality star Caprice has the best pair while Posh has the worst. Not surprising. He will present his findings at the Breast Enlargement Conference in London this week. He hopes it will help plastic surgeons.

 

He said it's all about nipple and breast proportion and position.

 

 

I'm not a scientist and I could've told you Posh has the worst breasts in the world! Those things look like two turtles snuggling.

 

Source: Daily Mail

 

 

 

 

Sources say that The Wachowski Brothers really wanted Rose McGowan instead of Christina Ricci to play Trixie in their movie "Speed Racer." The studio nixed the idea, because they felt Rosie has a little problem with plastic surgery. Rose has admitted to having her eyes done after she was in a car accident.

 

A source said, "The studio felt like she was hard to recognize and worried that by the time the movie hit theaters, fans might not know who she was."

 

Screw all that! The fact is Rose can't act worth a dime bag! The car would have upstaged her and given a much more emotional and honest performance.

 

This same source said that Zac Efron was an earlier choice for the male lead, but he was too young. More like too girly.  

 

Rose should quit acting anyway. She's landed her a hunk of a man and I have no idea how she did that. Rumors are that Rose is newly engaged to Robert Rodriguez after she stole his ass from his wife last year.

 

Homewrecking plastic slut!

 

Source , Source

 

 

 

 

 

Good Plastic Surgery thinks Ryan Gosling might have had a little schnoze work. They say it looks like he had that little bump shaved down. I would've never noticed, but I see it now. Hollywood does that to you. It makes you want to have unnecessary work done.

 

On the other hand....Awful Plastic Surgery thinks Rihanna might have had her chi-chis enhanced. Rihanna had a little accident with her leg recently which landed her in the hospital. She might've gotten her alien breasticles worked on then. In that "after"picture her breasts certainly look.....FAKE AS HELL.

 

But I still love her. 

 

 

 

The Daily Mail claims that 44-year-old Demi Moore has spent nearly $500,000 on plastic surgery and she still can't get a movie role or roll as Britney says it. Here's what they claim she's had:

 

Lipo to hips, thighs & stomach - $30,000

Breast Implants - $22,000

Breast Lift - $20,000

Brow Lift - $8,000

Chemical Face Peel - $20,000

Collagen - $400 per visit

Teeth Veneers and whitening - $12,000

Saggy Knee Surgery - $10,000

Excercise Coach - $300,000 

 

Demi recently told a magazine, "It's been a challenging few years, being the age I am. Almost to the point where I felt like, well, they don't know what to do with me. I am not 20. Not 30.

"There aren't that many good roles for women over 40. A lot of them don't have much substance, other than being someone's mother or wife."

They seem to think that Demi shouldn't be bitching about getting roles when she's trying to look young. Um, maybe it's because bitch can't act worth a shit!

Why would you get veneers AND whitening? I don't care what the hell Demi has had she looks hot. She needs to give me the number to her surgeon, because his work is good.