When you come across a horny cougar in the wild and she busts into her mating call dance, it's best to sit really still and don't make eye contact, which is exactly what Lenny Kravitz did at Chanel's Art Basel party in Miami last night. I don't know if Lenny is flipping the photographer off for capturing this hilariously awkward moment or he's flipping himself off for putting himself in that position. Whatever the case may be, I see Demi Moore eyeing his middle finger the same way a cat-in-heat eyes the tip of a Q-tip. Jump it, ride it, break it, Demi.
Demi was at the Chanel party with her new 20-something piece and when she wasn't sticking her tongue down his mouth hole, she was riding the beat bareback-style. Lenny Kravitz looks like a cross between a kid who's embarrassed by his mom and a tortured prisoner who is too stunned to move. It looks like Demi is doing the Stanky Leg, the Funky Chicken and the one-ho Lambada all at once. Stacy Keibler should be taking notes, because if she served moves like that to George Clooney, he would've married her a million times over by now.
And no, the dude in the navy blazer doesn't speak for us all. I don't ever want Demi to stop. Because the beat stops if Demi isn't whipping it with her hot, sweet moves.
I could've titled this post Lee Daniels as Lee Daniels, or Oprah as 80s Della Reese, or Jane Fonda as Nancy Reagan (!!!!!), but I went with Alan Rickman as Ronald Reagan, because that doesn't look like Alan Rickman at all to my eyes. But that's Alan Rickman and he's killing me softly with that Reagan smile.
Oprah Instagram'd pictures of everyone on the set of the new Lee Daniels movie The Butler. The Butler follows Gerard Butler after he finds a time machine and uses it to travel through the decades and fulfill his dream of boning all the First Ladies of the past. No, The Butler is about a butler who served eight presidents including Reagan. Oprah's plays The Butler's wife.
And I see Jane Fonda fucking with the Republicans with the power of a pair of brown contacts. (Side note: Nothing freaks me out more like seeing blue-eyed people with brown contacts).
And and, here's another picture of a Dynasty-ized Oprah with Lenny Kravitz in their aging makeup. Lenny may or may not be playing Benson.
I still would, even more so if Lenny kept his Benson look on.
I really can't read a book (you can stop right there and that statement will till be 95% correct) unless its cover is splattered in leopard print and the words "Jackie" and "Collins" are somewhere on it, but my eyes ate up that Hunger Games shit like I was John Travolta and it was a Dominican man ass. There's not even any sex in that crap! If the first five pages of a book don't talk about "drops of sweat trickling down his plump nipples," I usually throw it in the recycling bin, but I got through the Hunger Games in record time.
Anyway, Lenny Kravitz plays Cinna in the movie and I never pictured him as that character. I pictured a cross between Mondo from Project Runway and the Filipino Power Ranger with a touch of Wilson Cruz. I watched some clip of Lenny in action last night and I still wasn't convinced. But if there's one thing that can convince me, it's Lenny flashing his shaved nipples over a skillet of scrambled eggs in Interview Magazine. You can't ever accuse me of not being easy.
If you're like me and swallowed the first Hunger Games book with your eyeballs in one afternoon (Yes, I'm judging myself for that too.), then the trailer for the movie might fill you with the same kind of excitement you felt as a kid every time an analog TV on a cart was rolled into your middle school homeroom for movie (or "Anderson Cooper on the Channel One news") time. Oh, how I miss the simpler times when seeing a TV in the classroom made my fucking day.
Seeing Stanley Tucci in a shiny suit makes my nipples spit glitter, but I'm not so sure about the rest of this shit. Why do the poors of District 12 looks like Amish hipsters and why does Brad Pitt's greasy mop make an appearance on Woody Harrelson's head? This does sort of looks like a whitewashed Battle Royale for the Twilight set.
This trailer really would've had me if they played "Hungry Eyes" at the end of it.
via Leanord Kravitz's Twitter (Thanks Angela!)
Looking like the bouncer to the apocalypse gateway, Lenny Kravitz strut his ass all around SoHo in NYC yesterday afternoon while trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. You know, I prefer Lenny's old timey rotary shit (made by Alexander Graham LOOKATME) to the Bluetooth crap that makes hos act and look like crazed schizophrenics. But my only complaint about this mess is how big that phone is. You know how much space that takes up in his manpurse?! It could at least serve other purposes. It should be a phone dildo! Or a phone flask! Or better yet, a dildo phone flask ("Can you fuck me now?")! Now that is a real invention!
A little over a week ago, Lenny Kravitz turned SoHo into StrutHo when he stepped out in leather wedge boots that set fire to the cobblestones which caused a cloud of fabuousness to envelope the neighborhood. Basically, Lenny Kravitz was dressed like an elite member of Grace Jones' national army, but at the Lanvin show today his look was straight up off of SamRo's bedroom floor. Nonetheless, it's still a "wrassle up some pussy" outfit.
And just when I was about to once again give Dita Von Teese another award for excellence for eyebrow-ing at the highest degree, I come across this "hit the brakes" beauty:
While Dita's brows scream in your eyes and cover your retinas with black dust, this beauty's brows softly whisper into them. It's as if a centaur gently scooted across her brow area. Okay, okay, Dita still wins, but this goddess is a close second.
Here's more of Lenny, Dita and Janet Jackson with her billionaire piece at the Lanvin show in Paris today.