Hot Slut of the Month

We're going to do this shit on fast forward. The biggest election in the history of all elections, Hot Slut of 2008, is right around the corner, but first we have to figure out who is taking December. You only have 24-hours to vote so make the ROJO right ROJO choice ROJO. Here's you have to ROJO pick from:

Daddy Spears - Brit Brit's grouchy-faced master and Velveeta lover!
The Shiba Inu 6 - Heartmakers and heartbreakers!
Cheetah Lady - Crazy taco-eating pussy in dire need of a condo!
Rojo Caliente - Your dream girl!

Voting is in the right sidebar. The winning slut will be named tomorrow around this time. Synchronize your Swatches!

Kim Zolciak of The Real Housewives of Atlanta barely beat out Toby and his wormy ass to win November's Hot Slut of the Month! This is funny since Kim's wig might be made out of the hair that Toby's leave on the carpet when he scoots his ass against it. Thanks to all who voted!

Below is our reigning Hot Slut of the Month on The Bonnie Hunt show a couple of weeks ago. I want my very own authentic Kim Zolciak wig! I can probably get one from the swap meet.

I'm going to make this short, because there's a Hot Pocket calling my name. There's so many chemicals in a Hot Pocket that it could probably grow lips and actually call my name. Anyway, it's about that time to make the most important decision of the month and vote for November's Hot Slut of the Month! This time I have 5 sluts for you to choose from: 4 blondes and 1 sexy ginge! Here's your choices:

Joe Jackson - Albino musical genius!
Stu Rasmussen - America's first tranny mayor!
Toby the Dog - The face and scooting ass of the Stanley Steemer Company!
Kim Zolciak - Take all the descriptions above, mix them in a bowl and you have Kim!
Jeremy Jordan - Star of my 90s wet dreams!

Voting is in the right sidebar. The winning slut will be announced on Thursday. Make the right choice!

The 105-year-old virgin fucked her competition in the ass (figuratively speaking) and won October's Hot Slut of the Month! Clara Meadmore received over 50% of the votes and will compete in the most important election of next year.

Thanks to all you whores who voted. Now, it's back to eating my 10 bags of discontinued Circus Animals cookies from Mother's! I just got my order today and I can't wait to pour the cookies on my bed and roll all over them.

It's voting day for some of us, so since you're a pro at it already, you might as well vote for something else. And this shit is important, so take it seriously! There's only 3 spots left in determining Hot Slut of the Year, so don't fuck around! Here are your choices:

Chantal Biya - The most beautiful first lady in the world!
Miss Clara Meadmore - The 105-year-old virgin!
Norwood Young - L.A. mess and owner of the gayest house in America!
Julie Masking - Miss Fire Island 1997 and nightmare inducer!

Unfortunately, I can't give you a free coffee, a scoop of ice cream, a vibrator or a donut for voting. But if you see me on the street and I'm drunk, stop me and I'll give you a complimentary wet raspberry!

Vote in the sidebar to the right. The winning slut will be announced on Thursday!

Not since international supermodel Phoebe Price, has an inanimate object from the streets of Los Angeles captured your votes to become Hot Slut of the Month! I mean, a fucking abandoned couch!

Anyway, Abanonded Couch received 50% of your votes and beat out a bunch of bitches who don't really matter right now. I hope AC goes into an Olan Mills studio soon, because I'm sick of seeing the same picture of it!

Thanks to all you stoners who voted!

Okay, skanks! It's time to take your finger out of your (insert nickname for favorite hole here) and vote for September's "Hot Slut of the Month!" Your choices are:

Billy Mays - Infomercial king and chronic soft shouter
Etty Farrell - Rocker ladyboy and wife of Perry
Abandoned Couch - Abandoned couch
Isis Tsunami - America's next top tranny model

I shouldn't have to tell you this, but only humans can vote! Your sofa, loveseat and/or lounger cannot vote. It won't count! I'll know because....because.....I'll just know! Voting is in the right sidebar. The winning slut will be announced Thursday!

Victory for Spaghetti Cat! The other hot sluts didn't stand a chance. The pussy with an appetite for naked noodles beat the hell out of Robey, Nasty Nastia and Chad Rogers to win the illustrious title of August's Hot Slut of the Month! And he did it all without sauce on his noodles. Seriously, why doesn't he like sauce? Gives him the runs?

Spaghetti Cat is also the first pussy in Dlisted history to win HSOTM! Now, he deserves some sauce for that. Thanks to everyone who voted!

It's that time again! Please take time out from Photoshopping Sarah Palin's head onto the bodies of various bikini-clad ladies (or dudes) to vote for August's Hot Slut of the Month! You have four hot sluts to choose from! We've got everything from a pussy superstar to a nasty gymnast ! Here are your choices:

Louise Robey - 80s TV actress and star one of the most amazing music videos ever
Nastia Liukin - Ice cold Olympic gold-medalist
Spaghetti Cat - Needs no introduction
Chad Rogers - Real estate agent, reality star and douche-robot with serious hair

Voting is in the right sidebar. The winning hot slut will be announced on Thursday. Happy voting!

Jeff Lewis' main bitch for the win! Jenni Pulos beat out Tempest Storm, Irv Richards and Marilyn to win July's Hot Slut of the Month! Thanks to all you whores who voted and NO THANKS to the bitches who didn't.

It just so happens that tonight is the season finale of "Flipping Out." This show better come back for a third season or I'll fuck up Jeff's coffee order and you know how feels about that.

My TV has been on the fritz, so I haven't been able to get in my 3-4 hours of reality TV. I've been forced to read a book at night. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS FUCKERY? Me reading a damn book? Don't imagine that. It's not something your brain needs to process right now. Hopefully my shit is working tonight or else I just might have to come over one of your houses and you don't want that. I will fuck up your toilet. It's Taco Bell night.