Gay

The city of Hollywood got an extra shot of homo faaaaaabulousness yesterday when the Village People received their star on the Walk of Fame. That star looks so bland. It should be extra sparkly or something. This is the Village People we're talking about!

Some of the original members of the Village People weren't even there which totally sucks. The original cop, Victor Willis, managed to show up. He watched the ceremony from the sidewalk. He also wore a cop costume that was probably found in the "last chance bin" in the Halloween section at KMart. A couple of LAPD officers had to check Victor's fake gun to make sure it wasn't real. That fucking makes me sad. Victor shouldn't be standing on the sidewalk in a paltry cop uniform. He should up there with the rest of those ripe fruits. Life isn't fair.

Charo was also on hand to congratulate the dudes. I'd like to think that Charo accidentially walked in on the ceremony. In my head, Charo spends her Fridays afternoon, strolling through Hollywood, coochie-cooing for all the tourists. She's so fucking hot.

I'm not really sure what's going on in these pictures. All I know is that there's a dude's bare ass in Kevin Spacey's face and he's looking at it like....well...like there's a raw ass in front of his face. And I doubt his eyes are sparkling from the camera's flash. His eyes are really twinkling, because he's so giddy with excitement that he has an all-you-can-eat salad bar right in front of his mouth! You think the guy's ass is a little red now? Imagine the way it looked after Spacey was finished with it.

Here's more of Kevin Spacey coveting a dude's nalgas in Croatia. I also threw in some pictures of him smoking something good with some trick.

What in Clay Gayken hell is this shit all about?! Ricky Martin's publicist has confirmed that he's the father of twin boys! This came out of nowhere!

Ricky's new babies were born a few weeks ago with a little help from a surrogate mother and a turkey baster. You know Gayken is sitting somewhere, rocking his new baby, rolling his eyes and saying, "Girl, please! Don't try it!"

Ricky's spokeswhore issued this statement: "The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky's full-time care. Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children."

Um...hasn't he been out of the public spotlight for at least 5 years? Seriously, babies are just popping out left and right! This is obviously the thing to do. Maybe I should get one of those baby things? Naw. I don't like baby vomit in my martinis.

Congrats to Ricky! I can't wait to hear what he named them. If he didn't name one of them "Escandalo," I'm going to slap him with a rubber vagina. And you know that shit would gross him out.

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Thanks Ali

This is exactly what your genitals need this morning. Make sure you put a fresh baby wipe over them before watching this video. They will either cry milky tears or barf up yesterday's meal. And you know exactly what I mean by "yesterday's meal." You filthy whore!

Matt Lauer and Al Roker have once again proven why they get paid the big bucks for their work on "Today." This morning they performed a male tandem rhythmic gymnastics routine to Gary Wright's "Dream Weaver." Male tandem gymnastics sounds like what I did last night. I just wish I had some Gary Wright playing in the background.

They should perform this shit at the Closing Ceremony.

P.S. - After seeing Al Roker in spandex, I can never look at a peanut the same way again.

When I first saw these pictures of Covergirl Zac Efron and Gossip Girl Chace Crawford, I immediately asked, "Who's the top and who's the bottom?" That's a dumb dumb question, because obviously they're both bossy bottoms. They're both probably thinking, "What the hell am I going to do with this bitch?" Well, their ass lips can kiss and they can lick each other's chodes, but that's about it. Or they can just do each other's hair. Yeah, these two don't belong together. It would only end in a cat fight and Zac getting his make-up smeared. That wouldn't be nice.

And is that chest hair I see on Chace?! I didn't even know that was possible. That's probably a weave. A chest merkin.

Here's more of Zac, Chace and something called a Vanessa Hudgens at the Teen Choice Awards last night.

You know that dude in the back is totally saying, "Gurrrrl. Look at that flamer over there. My tranny poodle wouldn't even rock those pants. I can smell his ass jam from here. Anyway, fuck this dyke. Let's go see Mamma Mia again." Those dudes are totally mistaken! Ed Westwick is not a homo! Yes, there's been rumors that he's totally boning Chace Crawford, but it's a falsity! He was spotted the other night making out with a chick! That proves everything!

Some witness-type saw Ed at Lit in NYC on Wednesday night with his tongue down some random chick's throat. The witness said, "When the two left together, Ed was leading her by the hand. He was moving quick, but he had time to wink at a hot brunette before slipping out."

There! We can finally shut the closet door on those homo rumors.

Here's Ed wearing totally straight dude pants on the set of "Gossip Girl" the other day. I'm not being sarcastic either. Only pimps and mafia bosses wear pants like that.

Jessie Godderz from Big Brother 10 is the bodybuilder and resident twat of the house. I seriously can't stand him for the simple fact that he's fucking with Renny. Nobody messes with my Renny.

A week or so ago, a few semi-nude pictures of Jessie leaked. GaySocialite's claims that Jessie's friends leaked the pictures. They also claim that Jessie is a closeted wiener gobbler. One of their friends said, "He isn't ready for his parents, or the public, to know that he is gay. Jessie isn't actually open with his sexuality, but he doesn't hide it too well either. We just don't talk about it."

Um....the fourth thumbnail below is as gay as it gets. I'm sure Tommy Girl has already photoshopped his face into that picture. Gross.

Towleroad also made a good point. Jessie may not like chicks or other dudes, but he definitely loves himself. Seriously, he wants to make a million roid babies with himself. He's probably broken several mirrors from trying to do sex to his own reflection.

That being said, I'd hit it, but I'd have to bring my own dildo. You know he totally has roly poly peen.

Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick have already denied that they are eating each other's assholes out. But a witness at The Ting Tings concert said the two are practically joined at the crack. The witness told Rush & Molloy, "They were never more than a foot apart. It was freaky. If one moved two feet to the left, so did the other." The two also ignored a bunch of flirty chicks. "They were only interested in each other," said the witness.

Only a foot apart? Ignored flirty chicks? They are total butt sisters!

These two don't make sense to me. I refuse to believe that if Ed Westwick loved the peen, he would choose a generic ghey like Chace. I know a bunch of you whores produce major panty pudding over Chace, but he's never done it for me. He would probably scream "OUCH" when getting it in the good hole. Wimp!

However, these two are both starting to look like hipster gayelles. Hmmm...

Here's Ed and Chace at the premiere of "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" in NYC last night. Ok, that confirms it.

This post has a few spoilers, so close your eyes and count to 20 if you don't want to know anything. Or just go and eat your 5th glazed donut of the day.

Wesley confirmed to People that he's bumping boypussies with fellow "Project Runway" contestant Daniel. There were tons of rumors on the internets that they were dating after both hos changed their MySpace profiles to "in a relationship." They also listed each other as their "Top Friend." Damn, MySpace!

Wesley said, "We met on the show. And we tried to keep it very professional on the show because we were both there for our careers, and we didn’t expect this to come out of it. But I’m really happy.” Damn, those sluts worked fast! Wesley was only one the show for like ten minutes. Hey, you can't deny true love.

They are still together and Wesley said he's shocked that it's such a big deal. Blah...blah... What I really want to know is who's the top and who's the bottom? They probably don't even do sexy times. They get off by sewing shit together and watching fashion TV.

Screw these two! I want to know more about the secret romance between Stella and Terri! They are totally doing it. And by "it" I mean nothing.

P.S. - My favorite part of last night's episode was when Neeeeena Garcia said something like, "Shiny, tight, and short is the quickest way to look cheap." Cut to Heidi Klum wearing something shiny, tight and short. Cat fight!

In more "We need to blow up Hollywood" news, John Waters is currently working on a sequel to the movie musical version of "Hairspray." Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman, who wrote the songs for the Broadway musical, will also be back to write the songs for the sequel. The first movie's director, Adam Shankman, has also signed up to repeat his duties.

New Line is aiming for a July 2010 release. They are hoping to reunite the original cast which included John Travolta, Zac Efron, Christopher Walken, Michelle Pfeiffer, Queen Latifah, Nikki Blonsky and Brittany Snow. The sequel will pick up right where the first one ended.

I'll be surprised if Michelle Pfeiffer agrees to this fuckery. Didn't she learn anything from "Grease 2"? "I want a coooooool rider, A cool, cool, cool, cool rider....." What am I saying? That movie changed my life.

You know John Travolta just wants a reason to get back into that costume. He never felt so alive in his life. He probably had to wear diapers the entire time because he kept creaming himself, he was so happy. Shit, he probably wears that outfit at home and dances with his life-size cut out of Zac Efron.

I also blame GREED for this. John Waters probably made a shit load off of the "Hairspray" musical and now he just can't get enough. John, just say NO to a "Hairspray" sequel. But just say YES to a "Serial Mom" sequel.

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Thanks Zeke