Sharon Stone

I was beginning to think that Sharon Stone was over her addiction to animal print and dead animals. Relapse! She needs to be thrown into rehab along with Jocelyn Wildenstein for their obsession with wearing and looking like animals.

Sharon is really starting to look like one of those hags from "The Real Housewives of Orange County." I know Sharon does not want to turn into Lauri Waring, but that's where she's heading.

Anyway, here's Shar at amFar's Cinema Against AIDS event in France. Other guests included Natalie Portman who wore a dress by Brawny and Madonna who wore one of Tootsie's old ones.

How dare Sharon Stone! She has the audacity to drag another poor, haggard animal on to the red carpet with her just so she can look better. She's so proud of herself too. The woman never misses an opportunity to wear animal. Oh wait, that's not roadkill? It's Madonna?

As much as it pains me to say this, Madonna doesn't look that awful. Ouch. Yes, that was painful to type. If you squint your eyes, she sort of looks like an Olsen. The dress would probably look better on a Liza Minnelli female impersonator, but Madge pulls it off.

Sharon Stone however, is the lesbian cougar of my dreams!

Below is Madge, Shar and Guy Ritchie at the Cannes premiere of "I Am Because We Are." Say what?

Phoebe Price should really consider moving to Cannes. They adore her there! They photograph her chicken cutlets every hour of the day. I'm not even posting half of the pictures they take of her. They can't get enough of her! The French must love poultry.

PP crashed show up to another Angelina Jolie premiere at Cannes today. She already attended the Kung Fu Panda premiere last week. You know she totally swiped Angie's itinerary. Well, PP is the next Angelina Jolie, so she's just training for her inevitable future by following Angie around. Angie better watch her man. No man can resist the warm and salty taste of chicken cutlets.

And PP kept flashing two fingers to the paps while on the red carpet. Is she trying to do a peace sign? It looks more like she's about to stick her tongue in between the V and make the "licking coochie" gesture. She's directing that towards Angie. No woman can resist the warm and salty taste of chicken cutlets either.

Anyway, the poor fools that had to share the red carpet with PP during tonight's "Changeling" premiere included Victoria Silvstedt, Sharon Stone and Dita Von Teese. Their beauty pales in comparison to the radiance of Phoebe Price!

Animal lover Sharon Stone is in Paris and she's been seen with some new dude. At first I thought it was her bodyguard, but she's been holding hands with him which makes me think he's eating her squirrel.

The dude looks about right for Sharon. She's probably with him, because he goes along with her kinky role playing. She makes him put on a bear costume, she pretend hunts him and then pours his fake blood all over her body while humping his lifeless body. Totally gross. Don't blame me! It's her fantasy.

I still miss her creepy ass husband. Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I think of him getting bitten in the foot by a komodo dragon. That's funny shit. Bitten by a komodo dragon!

Here's more pics of Sharon and her teddy bear in Paris.

Sharon Stone left her Paris hotel this morning with a four-legged companion. We all know what Sharon likes to do with furry four-legged creatures. She likes to wear them! FreeTranslation.com told me "save him" in French is l'épargner. L'épargner!!!!

Cruella De Stone is on her way to the House of Dior to turn that puppy into leg warmers. She plans to sedate doggy in the car by recreating her "Basic Instinct" leg crossing scene for him.

Sharon Stone really can't go to an event without wearing some dead animal on her. I'm beginning to think that the animals aren't dead, but once they touch Sharon their souls are sucked into her. It's probably what she does to stay alive. She's sucking the souls of dead animals. When I first saw these pictures of Sharon at Elton John's Oscar party I almost couldn't believe that she wasn't wearing any fur. I figured she was wearing fur panties. Of course, she found a way to get her dead animal in. Sharon wore a rat's paw and said it was good luck.

Somebody perform some sort of ritual on that rat's paw and bring it back to life. Sharon needs a beat down and that rat paw is the one to do it.

Thanks MJ

Sharon Stone is obviously trying to tell us something. She usually attends events wearing something animal-inspired. To last night's A Diamond Is Forever party, Sharon wore zebra print, fur and a fucking peacock purse. Obviously, this ho wants to become an animal. I say we cage the bitch and give her what she wants. We can visit her every now and again and throw peanuts at her. I know you're not supposed to do that at the zoo, but you can do that to Sharon. She won't mind. Don't let her ex-husband visit her though! He almost got his foot bitten off by a Komoda Dragon and Sharon will probably do worse. It's best he stay away.

Here's Sharon looking like she's going to a MILF slumber party last night.

Peta compiled their list of the Worst Dressed Celebrities of 2008, but they failed to mention Cruella Stone! Sharon basically wears fur every time she's out. She must be sucking some major Peta dick, because I don't understand. Peta did however target Aretha Franklin. They better not mess with the queen. She's going to turn into a real bear and go on the attack.

Here's how the rest of the list looked:

Marilyn Manson: "Always draped in leather from head to toe, Manson has enough skeletons in his closet to fill a pet cemetery. As if wearing dead animals isn't foul enough, Manson says that he wears his cow-skin pants 24/7, only peeling the smelly things off to have sex. That alone should be enough to tarnish leather's dated sex appeal. Manson may just be the shock-rocker's stage name, but his wardrobe is a real-life tale of blood and guts."

Eva LongWHORIA: "Eva Longoria is short on compassion. In her trashy furs, she looks like the street walker of Wisteria Lane. Eva is one "desperate housewife" who needs a quickie divorce—from her stylist."

Lindsay Lohan: "I Know Who Killed Me isn't just the title of Lindsay Lohan's last bomb—it's also the cry of the animals snuffed out so that this "mean girl" can pose in their pelts. Lindsay, there's no road to recovery for the foxes who are anally electrocuted so that you can look skanky."

Kate Moss: "Nothing completes the transition from supermodel to super-tramp like a fur coat. If Kate could see clearly through those bleary eyes, maybe she'd clear her closet of those furs."

Kylie Minogue: "What does Kylie Minogue have in common with her python purse? They are both cold-blooded. Come on, Kylie—it's not cool to clutch onto an accessory made by nailing snakes to trees and skinning them alive."

Again, where the hell is Sharon! As the wise Khia would say, Something in the milk ain't clean!

I'm calling this "HGTV hair," because almost every fucking host on a home decorating show has had hair like this at one point. It's like they all go to the same stylist. Candace Olsen, Paige Davis, Joan Steffend and Karen McAloon all have had this hair. Yeah, I watch a lot of home decorating shows. When it's late at night, I'm drunk and there's nothing on HSN, I turn to HGTV.

Anyway, here's Sharon with total HGTV hair at the premiere of "The Year Of Getting To Know Us" at Sundance yesterday. Hey! At least she's not wearing fur this time. She's getting her animal style in with those fucked up raccoon eyes.

Wenn

Sharon Stone is sick of the girly men she's been dating lately that she thinks she might as well go fish. She said she would rather have a masculine lady than a girly man.

She said, "Everybody is bisexual to an extent. Now men act like women and it is difficult to have a relationship because I like men in that old-fashioned way. I like masculinity and, in truth, only women do that now. If you go on a date with a woman they call and say, 'I'm going to pick you up at seven.' They take you somewhere great and you can dress like a chick."

I think I've found Chastity Bono's new lover. Sharon is already looking the part. She attended the Glamour event last night looking like a butch lesbian that was forced to wear a dress. A fugly dress at that.

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