Jared Leto

"Chapter 27" was shot a long ass time ago, but it will finally see the light of day on March 28th. No, it's not going straight to DVD, but it is only opening in NYC. It will open a week later in Los Angeles. Jared Leto gained a whole Olsen to play John Lennon's murderer. This is what people need to do nowadays to win Oscars. It's only going to get more insane. Jennifer Garner is totally going to cut off one of her legs to play Heather Mills just so she can get a fucking nomination.

The movie also stars Lindsay Lohan. Yup, that basically means it's going to suck. Here's the trailer below in case you missed it.

Lindsay Lohan needs new people and by "new people" I mean a new mom. I'm sure White Oprah is the one that convinced HoHan to star in this piece of shit. Actually, it was probably Jared Leto's new fat dick that convinced her the old-fashioned way. Here's the trailer for "Chapter 27" which was shot like 50 years ago, but is coming out later this month. It's the movie where Jared Leto got really fat in hopes of winning in Oscar. He'll be lucky if he wins a Razzie. He plays the dude that shot John Lennon and Lindsay Lohan plays...well...it looks like she plays Lindsay Lohan.

Eff this movie. Let's get back to the topic of fat dick. When a dude gets fat, does his dick get fatter or smaller? Questions like this always keep me awake at night.

Oh and this movie should go straight to the $1 theater.

Source: BWE

I just love a dude who's comfortable enough with his masculinity to sit with his legs crossed. Whenever I do that, I look like Posh Beckham sitting front row at a Paris fashion show. Although sometimes my legs can't help it and they must be crossed. Maybe it's my nutsack telling my body they want a little hug. A nutsack hug.

Here's Jared Leto lunching with a hot bitch at Joan's on Third yesterday. I love those little Easter bunnies in the window. I fucking love Easter, because it's the gayest holiday ever.

What is the point of that anorexic scarf? Isn't it fucking freezing in Utah? Jared Leto obviously doesn't care about keeping warm. He's too busy perfecting his total douche look. The anorexic scarf goes better with his Hot Topic coat. He used to be so hot.

He's such a douche now. I can smell his Cool Water by Davidoff cologne from here.

Splash

Ashley Olsen looked like she didn't just crawl out from the gutter, Jared Leto didn't look like a douche member of an Emo tribute band, Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe didn't look like she was jonesing for virgin blood and even Rumer Willis didn't look completely unfortunate. Celebrities sure cleaned themselves up for the Art of Elysium party last night in Los Angeles.

Even Ryan Gaycrest didn't look like he just came back from a gay gang bang. They all cleaned up pretty well. Well, except for Calista Flockhart. She's starting to look like Harrison Ford's spinster older sister.

Photographer Terry Richardson (the oldie that should NOT be in his tightey whities) shot Jared Leto both fat and skinny for Purple Magazine. Jared put on the chunk for that movie he did with Lindsay Lohan about murdering John Lennon.

I'm confused. Those look like the "before" and "after" shots from those infomercials for diet pills. The sick thing is, I'd even take the fat Jared. He can rest his gut on the small of my back anytime...anytime...any year.

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Last October, Dlisted reader Timothy witnessed a scuffle between Elijah Wood and Jared Leto at the MTV U Woodie Awards. Elijah has told Jane Magazine what that little situation was all about.

Elijah said, "He was basically upset at the fact that I said I didn't like his band. He said that initially and then walked away. I guess he thought I was laughing at him, but I was more shell-shocked and telling people around me, 'Whoa, I just got told off by Jared Leto for not liking his band.' And that's when he came back and grabbed me."

Jared then apparently said to him, "I would never try to be like other actors and attempt to make (music) myself. I mean, have you heard 30 Seconds to Mars? ... F---ing awful, man!"

Elijah told him it wasn't personal and said the whole thing was "ridiculous."

Midget fight! Seriously, I'm not sure who would win in that fight. I think Leto's bark is bigger than his bite.

Source & Image Source

Jared Leto is at Sundance to promote his John Lennon film, Chapter 27. Witnesses in Sundance say that Jared isn't being a good boy and actually is acting like a straight-up grouch.

Page Six reports:

When a photographer from WireImage attempted to snap Leto's picture, the eyeliner- clad cad shouted, "No! No more, bro!" Leto walked out - but not before a "big guy" yanked at his long tresses. Leto "whipped off his hat with earflaps on and stepped up to the guy," said a spy. "They were yelling at each other." But no punches were thrown. And though Leto left, he came back a couple hours later to look for the guy. (Leto's rep didn't return calls.)

Soooo Emo! Methinks Jared is trying to look as unattractive as possible. I wouldn't hit that with Paris Hilton's vag lips.

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Dlisted reader, Timothy, attended the MTV U Woodie Awards last night. I’m not sure what that is, but I’ll take it. He witnessed some strange interaction between Elijah Wood and Jared Leto. Here’s what went down:

Last night I went to the MTV U Woodie Awards ( what the fuck are those right?) and luckily I scored a spot in one of the "common folk" pens right near the celebrity tables. So the entire night I am ten feet from Elijah Wood, who is cuter than expected, shorter than expected and smokes a lot (yeah they let the celebrities smoke at their tables....fuckers) Anyway also in attendance was Jared Leto with his stupid band 30 Seconds to Mars. The show went as expected bands played, bands I never heard of won awards etc. As the show was winding down and TV on the Radio was performing Jared Leto was working the tables, saying hey.

He then comes over to Elijah's table. I’m like "Oh my god they are totes gonna make out". Jared puts his arm on the hobbits back and starts whispering stuff in his ear and and occasionally pulling back to look him in the face. Jared then walks away and Elijah turns to his date for the evening friends and says something. Well something about this must have pissed Jared off because he comes running back to the table, grabs Elijah by the neck and starts screaming at him. All I could catch was Jared calling him a "fucking asshole". He then shoves Elijah and storms off. Bodyguards come up and Elijah assures everyone he's fine. But MAD drama. Any speculations? Maybe its about them both tappin' the firecrotch.

Hmm…well I speculate 1 our of these 3 things are the cause for this kind of mad dash to squash the midget.

1) Jordan left his lucky panties at Elijah’s house and wants them like really bad. Elijah wants to sell them on eBay.
2) Elijah stole Jared’s role in the remake to Leprechaun
3) Elijah gave Jared vaginal warts