Cee Lo Green
A few months ago, a woman filed a police report against Cee Lo Green claiming that he spiked her drink with MDMA and then did sex with her while she was passed out. The woman told police that she went out on a date with Cee Lo last July and he took her to a restaurant in Downtown L.A. where he bought he a drink. The woman drank the cocktail, blacked out and then woke up the next day in a strange room with no clothes on her body and Cee Lo looking at her.
TMZ says that the victim doesn't live in California, so as soon as she got home, she filed a sexual battery report with her local police department and they passed it off to the LAPD. The LAPD got the woman to "bait call" Cee Lo's ass. They hit the recording button and had her call Cee Lo. During the call, Cee Lo never said that he snuck the MDMA into the lady's drink, but he did admit giving it to her so it would make their sex times together more exciting (cut to me dry heaving on the carpet like a cat yacking up a hair ball of grossness). The LAPD didn't arrest Cee Lo right away, because he didn't say anything about having sex with her while she was passed out. The LAPD will pass the case off to the District Attorney's office as soon as they finish investigating.
Cee Lo's team is trying to spin this and make the woman look like a money-hungry liar. A source close to Cee Lo tells TMZ that before the woman went to police, she hired a civil lawyer and tried to get him to give her a little hush money from the thick roll of bills he keeps between his greasy sourdough tits. The woman went to the cops after Cee Lo refused to give her some cash.
I've never heard of people blacking out from taking MDMA and I've known some junkie ass ravers, but that shit could've been something else or he could've laced it. I mean, Cee Lo always looks like he's up to no good and you should never trust the hate child of a penguin and an Oompa Loompa who ate all of Willy Wonka's full meal chewing gum.
Behold, the majestic gut that sits on top of the heads of at least three lovely ladies a day while they lick on the glorious lo-mein noodle and try to breathe through their b-holes because you know it gets stifling in there. Cee Lo Green made all of us sing out "FUCK YOU" in unison, but apparently hos from around the world are screaming "FUCK ME" at him all the time. Ladies just can't get enough of rolling around with the Violet Beauregarde of R&B. Cee Lo proudly tells The Sun that he's neck deep in pussy most days.
"I'm definitely having more sex than the average man. Yes, two or three women a night, trust me. The other day I slept with two women - not at the same time - because I was at home and they missed me. But you know, these are my friends, we missed each other. So I just want to give joy and good tidings, that's what it's all about.
The Lady Killer has got all the girls in a frenzy. Everybody wants to know what's up with the big man. It makes sense because I'm a great guy - I'm charming, I'm funny, I'm sexually potent."
And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he's a world famous singer with a pocket full of riches! But really, I believe him. Look at Cee Lo! Don't act like you wouldn't suck Whoppers out of his belly button. Shit, he probably cums Whoppers. Yes, I would.