Mariah Carey

 

This shit looks like one of those airbrush portraits that people got on the back of their jean jackets in the 80s and it looks like a photo Mimi took in the 80s. For real, that doesn't look real.

 

Here's Mimi on November's Glamour magazine where she opens up her Hello Kitty room. Seriously, that makes so much sense, but it would to be difficult getting intimate with effin Kerokerokeroppi looking back at you. 

 

 

Source: Mariah Daily

 

 

 

Mimi once again proved that she was thee diva bitch at Vh1's Save the Music. When Mimi had to take a wee, she stormed into the bathroom with her two, huge bodyguards. Two women were already in there and were left confused when two dudes entered. Her goons tried to kick the ladies out, but they weren't having it.

 

One lady told the NYDN , "One of the bodyguards said to us, 'If you're going to stay, you better not watch Mariah pee.'  "

 

Nasty bitch doesn't shut the stall door when she takes a piss? She probably doesn't want anyone around when she goes #1, because she's a fart pisser. You know it's when you can't open one hole without opening the other!

 

 

 

Diddy's stupid ass challenged other celebrity perfumes to a "smell-off." He said, “I send out a challenge…I challenge all of my female counterparts that have fragrances…that my fragrance is better than theirs. I’m a man and I know how women should smell!”

 

Mimi isn't hearing that. She responded to Diddy's challenge. “I heard about this competition, and I wish Puff all the best with his new fragrance, but I think we're actually appealing to different types of women. M by Mariah Carey is about being unforgettable, not unforgivable. It’s not about a ménage à trois or a one night stand, it’s for the woman who wants the man to fall in love with her immediately, stay in love, and treat her like royalty.”

 

So is Mimi telling me that all I have to do is roll on down to the Rite-Aid, pick up some of her cheap ass lamb piss on discount, spray that shit all over and it will immediately get a man to fall in love with me and treat me like Grace Kelly?

 

But wait....is she telling me that Diddy's perfume will get me a threesome?

 

Ok, I'm going with Diddy. Sorry two dicks are better than one.

 

 

 

Mariah Carey attended Vh1's Save the Music event last Thursday in NYC. Mariah is just a humble girl and didn't need much help during the event. Well, she needed someone to curl her hair before she took the stage. She also needed someone to hold the breast tape at all times. She also needed someone to brush her beautiful hair during dinner....ok she needed 9 people total.

 

Yes! Mimi brought 9 assistants with her to tend to her every need during the show.

 

It takes a village to look that um....that...gorgeous? Ok, to look that cheap. It probably took 5 or 6 people to get that dress on.

 

Source: NYDN

 

 

TGIF! How's about a little Mariah Carey with your morning coffee. Mariah can be your morning croissant....well more like a bagel with extra cream cheese.

 

Mariah looked ravishing in purple at last night's Save The Music event in NYC. You know she was sewed into that thing by like ten women. She's looking like Barney's second mistress.

 

Oh and the word "brainpower" and Mariah's image should not be in the same vicinity. It just doesn't make any sense.

 

She is a beauty though.  

 

 

 

 

 

This is random. Mimi helped to host the unveiling of the new "Jury Duty" stamp at the NY County Courthouse yesterday which was Jury Appreciation Day. Weird. There wasn't a new Dunkin' Donuts she could help christen? 

 

I love Mimi. I truly do. This ensemble to her is "classy and professional" but she looks like a secretary by day and a call girl by night.

 

Speaking of Jury duty, I gotta do that shit in a couple of weeks. How the hell am I going to get out of it? Maybe I'll get Remy Ma to try and shoot my ass while I'm walking in. Jury duty is the WORST! I'd rather get ass fucked Ashlee Simpson's new nose than go through that.

 

Below is Mimi and my favorite, Bernadette Peters at that stamp shit yesterday. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Janice Combs is truly my favorite celebrity mother. Homegirl is a mess and a half. She's a 12-car pile-up! She needs to tell me where she got that tie-dyed wig, because I need me one of those for acid trips. I mean she looks like Diddy's younger sister HA!

 

Here's JC at Diddy's Real White Party in the Hamptons last night. Mimi also showed and surprisingly didn't look like a complete hooker. Miss Piggy cleans up well. That dress still looks about 2 sizes too small though. Greased in! Suck suck suck it in!

 

 

Splash , Mariah Daily

 

 

 

Here's a small preview of Mimi, naked on the cover of Interview Magazine. The world's biggest diva? They are so rude! Aretha Franklin is the world's biggest, she has at least 30 lbs on Mimi.

 

Seriously, will these women realize they don't have to take off their damn clothes for every effin magazine. It's not shocking anymore! That being said, what the hell is going on in that pic? Is her dress half off, is that a tablecloth?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmm....I'm not even sure if Mariah Carey looked like that out of the womb! This is beyond Photoshop. This is straight-up taking her face and pasting it onto someone else's head and body.

 

Her fragrance probably smells like dead butterflies, fried chicken, puppies in the washing machine and lambs. 

 

Source: Mariah Daily

 

 

 

 

Mimi took a cold hard look at herself while performing at Disneyland Paris yesterday. She probably just saw one big pork chop. Delicious! But not with applesauce, that's just gross. The Pork One performed for over 5,000 people to benefit Elton John's AIDS Foundation.

 

It rained during her set, but thankfully didn't melt Mimi. She went on with the show, because she's a real trooper.

 

 

 

Source: Mariah Daily