The CAPTION THIS Contest

(Thanks Ben)

In a stunning move toward World Peace, North Korea not only admits to constructing Lana Del Rey, they also provide the blue prints. - Aunt B

Runners-up:

The Ke$hit Oral Autotuner allows any woman to sing gibberish in English. - dfanintheD

The results of Leann's mouth surgery revealed! - jelliebean

via Poorly Dressed

These trendy LA gay bars. OK, you use the Avril Latrine, I'll be in the Catherine Zeta John. - TexnDoc

Runners-up:

Another day, another endorsement deal for a Kardashian. - sonah22

I am sensing that you are here for a reason...you carry a certain instinctual desire.....come, sit upon my cauldron and release all your burdens....I will wipe away all your fears...and for $20 I will examine your asparagus. - Half.Mexican.Wonder

via Picture Is Unrelated

The police finally found a way to keep George Michael from loitering. - magusxxx

Runners-up:

© Lorena Bobbit. - marcusbacus

If you thought drinking Donkey jizz was bad, Fear Factor's newest segment called "would you rather..." also features Blohan's firecrotch. - tonicbitch

A never before seen photograph from the Heaven's Gate compound. - BaconSlut

via Break

Something tells me Perdue was lying about not injecting their chickens with growth hormones. - jalynne

Runners-up:

Leaked stills from the new Total Recall prove that Jessica Beal's Golden Globes dress was right on the money. - atlantapug

Mark Wahlberg's 3rd nipple has a career on its own. - Chris Knight

The "Suckle Me Salma" doll prototype still has some glitches to iron out. - fauve

via Daily Mail

Neither snow, nor sleet, nor lack of brains will will keep us from our deliveries to Charlie Sheen. - Rocket

Runners-up:

Unfortunately, "Sledding Wives" wasn't a big hit for VH-1 or Shaunie O'Neill. - eatmylumpia

George Clooney's unemployment line. - tonicbitch

via Poorly Dressed

Beware, ladies, this is what happens if you fuck a guy with a pencil dick. - jazzfish_77

Runners-up:

You might be a redneck if.....your fetus has already mastered the art of tattooing from inside the uterus. - pamorama_j

And to think, just five months ago it was a tattoo of a penis going into a vagina. - Sweetas

Coincidentally this is exactly what Beyonce's ultra sound looked like. - Whamo

via Awkward Family Photos (Thanks to the reader who sent this in. My stupid ass lost your email)

For those that don't believe that Angie sucks the life out of Brad Pitt, here is picture proof of her actually doing it. - Rocket

Runners-up:

Now with half the cancer risk. - RandéSleepover

To her relief, this is what her husband meant when he asked her to "share a fag" with him. - evil.little.f__k.

"Kevorkian said this would work, right? I have to ask..why am I the only one inhaling?" - Jintess

via Break.com

"Well, If I cant have a long black ding dong in my mouth, might has well build one on my head, stare at it and dream!" - onetakenfreak

Runners-up:

Ugh, he even makes his eyebrows lift weights. - daisy100

Right before this pic was taken you could hear Eva Longoria giggle "he's had WAY more ding dongs at once than that"... - jack-n-the-hat

No fuckin' wonder Twinkies are almost out of production with advertisements like this! Nobody wants to lick a Twinkie that's been face raped by 6 Ding Dongs! - Jalapena

Source: Poison Paradise via WOW Report

The Fairy Bride Shake Weight was a big seller in Uzbekistan. - clutching-at-straws

Runners-up:

Mexican prisoners have been known to smuggle cell phones in their rectum, while American prisoners are well know for smuggling coke, and now it has been discovered that latvian prisoners have begun smuggling their guardian angels. - stolidog

If everyone had just left Michael Phelps alone he would have stuck with pot...now he's dancing with the absinthe fairy - corinacorina

.....And nine months later, Khloe was born. - skabazzle

via PIU