The CAPTION THIS Contest

via PIU

"Hurblurrblurrrherr."

"Lerrblurrblurrhurr!" - Gigaboob

Runners-up:

*buh beep*buh beep*buh beep*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

"...we just lost Sly & Arnold's careers." - Provolone

Busy day at PECS (Penile Enlargement Clinic for Steroid Abuse). Arnold is hoping for at least 2 additional inches. - burpfartsneeze

In this scene from the latest Human Centipede sequel, Arnold and Sly fight over who gets to have their lips sewn to Bruce Willis' asshole. - MrsRedFox

via Whosay (Thanks Melissa)

It took his whole fortune to achieve and forty years of trying, but finally Beiber was able to butch up his image. - Datura

Runners-up:

Dog the bounty hunter's seldom seen son, Pups, the pussy hunter - Eileenie McMeanie

When Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison invite another porn iguana into their bedroom, they like to send her home with a commemorative portrait. - skabazzle

Sure, Derek got charged extra at Glamour Shots in the mall, but as far as he was concerned, the greek tragedy set surcharge (and the escorts on clearance he rented) were worth every fuckin' penny. - Aphid

via Break.com

"Hey, churros! Who else is into water sports???!" #JulioCCLopez - MATTDingo

Runners-up:

After Seal Team 6 took out Bin Ladin, Seal Pup Team 6 went in after his mangy cats. - OurMissC

After adopting all of them, Paris was extremely disappointed that she misunderstood the description of their favorite hobby - Jintess

This was not what Mark Sanchez had in mind when Kim convinced him to "bail on the Super Bowl" with promises of "water sports with my sister bitches" - phungi

(Thanks Ben)

In a stunning move toward World Peace, North Korea not only admits to constructing Lana Del Rey, they also provide the blue prints. - Aunt B

Runners-up:

The Ke$hit Oral Autotuner allows any woman to sing gibberish in English. - dfanintheD

The results of Leann's mouth surgery revealed! - jelliebean

via Poorly Dressed

These trendy LA gay bars. OK, you use the Avril Latrine, I'll be in the Catherine Zeta John. - TexnDoc

Runners-up:

Another day, another endorsement deal for a Kardashian. - sonah22

I am sensing that you are here for a reason...you carry a certain instinctual desire.....come, sit upon my cauldron and release all your burdens....I will wipe away all your fears...and for $20 I will examine your asparagus. - Half.Mexican.Wonder

via Picture Is Unrelated

The police finally found a way to keep George Michael from loitering. - magusxxx

Runners-up:

© Lorena Bobbit. - marcusbacus

If you thought drinking Donkey jizz was bad, Fear Factor's newest segment called "would you rather..." also features Blohan's firecrotch. - tonicbitch

A never before seen photograph from the Heaven's Gate compound. - BaconSlut

via Break

Something tells me Perdue was lying about not injecting their chickens with growth hormones. - jalynne

Runners-up:

Leaked stills from the new Total Recall prove that Jessica Beal's Golden Globes dress was right on the money. - atlantapug

Mark Wahlberg's 3rd nipple has a career on its own. - Chris Knight

The "Suckle Me Salma" doll prototype still has some glitches to iron out. - fauve

via Daily Mail

Neither snow, nor sleet, nor lack of brains will will keep us from our deliveries to Charlie Sheen. - Rocket

Runners-up:

Unfortunately, "Sledding Wives" wasn't a big hit for VH-1 or Shaunie O'Neill. - eatmylumpia

George Clooney's unemployment line. - tonicbitch

via Poorly Dressed

Beware, ladies, this is what happens if you fuck a guy with a pencil dick. - jazzfish_77

Runners-up:

You might be a redneck if.....your fetus has already mastered the art of tattooing from inside the uterus. - pamorama_j

And to think, just five months ago it was a tattoo of a penis going into a vagina. - Sweetas

Coincidentally this is exactly what Beyonce's ultra sound looked like. - Whamo

via Awkward Family Photos (Thanks to the reader who sent this in. My stupid ass lost your email)