Say Something Nice

I feel like I need to Windex my screen over and over again after looking at pictures of these two. Why does HoHan always have to look like she's been sleeping under a car for the past few days? Not even a Lexus either. Bitch has looks like she's been napping under an '81 Datsun. Can't one of HoHan's friends throw an Adderall into a bath tub, so she can dive after it and get sort of clean? Oh, wait. This is a say something nice. I always forget that.

Okay....um...errr...um... Well, it's a good thing White Oprah wasn't at this event, because then she'd hog up all the good shit during their mother/daughter bonding time in a bathroom stall. That's nice!

Here's these two fresh, pristine and young looking beauties posing inside the bottom of a barrel last night.

99.9999% of the meth-faced lot lizards on Cops look fresher and sexier than Pamela Anderson, so what more is there to say? The only way she would look better is if she had a giant F- from the Environmental Health Department stamped on her forehead. Oh, wait. I'm supposed to say something nice. Okay...um...

Well, Pamela's face reminds me of the time I got really boozed up at Christmas on some rancid egg nog. I ended up passing out face first in a puddle of my own vom on the bathroom floor. When I woke up a few hours later with a face covered in egg nog barf, I looked into the mirror and all I could do was laugh to keep from crying. It really was the best Christmas ever, so thanks to Pam for bringing that beautiful memory back. See, that's nice!

Here's a rotten piece of salmon at the opening of a stripper/steakhouse in NYC last night. Yup, she really showed up.

Really? What is this? Why did this happen? Who put this here? What asshole does this?! Why?! Why hasn't someone sprayed this tranny cockroach with RAID yet? I don't understand. I know my simple mind just can't comprehend this level of artistic genius, but who actually likes this? Raise your hand....and then immediately put it in your garbage disposal and turn it on. But seriously, this bitch really does make me appreciate Vadge. That's kind of ironic since I'm 100% sure Lady CaCa is a mutation of one of Vadge's roidy crotch warts.

Oh, shit. This is a "Say Something Nice" and I already failed. Okay, let me try this again. Well, um...errr...the umbrella is nice.

Here's Lady CaCa after stealing Bette Midler's lips in Hocus Pocus in London last night with Mika.

If you can say something nice about these two dick bags, then immediately check yourself into the nearest loony bin. Actually, save a spot for me, because I need some mental help for feeding the douches. AND if you're reading this, you're coming with us too for falling for their trap. The joke is on all of us!

There really are no words to describe the concentrated fuckery going on in these pictures. Twit and Twats staged photo-ops must be art directed by John Waters. This shit is going above and beyond camp. I mean, the gun, her “Read My Lipstick: Vote McCain-Palin” shirt, his “Palin For VP: God, Guns, Glory” and the book..... I have to laugh to keep from crying. Joe Sixpack is not amused.

And I'm actually shocked to see Heidi with a book. Obvioulsy, she can't read, but I'm surprised she can even pretend to read.

Ummm.....errr.....well.....um....the colors on her t-shit are pretty? I can't! What in Jack Skellington hell is going on with Vadge?! Is she injecting roids directly into her face now? Even international supermodel Phoebe Price is looking at these pictures thinking, "Damn. Her chicken cutlets are out of control. Bitch needs to rotate those things." And her roid twigs will haunt my daydreams!

I hope Lourdes is leading her mother to the nearest buffet, followed by a 6-month nap in an oxygen chamber. Calgon, take Vadge away!

I've tried to find one good thing to say about these Xtina pictures and I can't. I lose. There's too much information to process.

I can't call those things chichis. Those vein nuts give all good chichis a bad name. I'm also convinced that this bitch just adds ice water to her face and the 10-pounds of make-up magically appears. She's like that fucking Lil' Miss Make-Up doll from the 80s.

Here's tranny clown at LAX in Las Vegas last night.

Does somebody have an address for WWF wrestler Bobbi Ballard? I need to send her my chiropractor bill. This picture of her has my neck working overtime. I glance down to look at her chichis and that's immediately making my neck prop up to look at her face which immediately makes me drop my head to look at her chichis again....it's a horrific yo-yo! Nowhere is safe.

The only nice thing I have to say about Bobbi is that I think I'm in love. I would have proposed marriage if she was wearing Shauna Sand's lucite heels. Oh well, maybe next time.

BONUS! Here's another hot wreck at the same party. It's actor William Romeo showing us what we're missing. Yeah, I think I'll skip that section on the buffet line.

I have not done a "Say Something Nice" in forever and the moment I saw these pictures from 944 Magazine I knew this shit would be perfect. I've already failed, because I can't say anything nice about this skeezer. Ok...ok...I'll try! It's a good thing Parasite was blessed with such enormous feet, because soon not even the biggest of peens will be able to satisfy her loosey coochie. That way she can use her gigantic hooves to get herself off. The ultimate footjob.