The CAPTION THIS Contest

The Grand Marshall and Queen of the first annual "People of Walmart Parade" - Migraine Sally

Runners-up:

Britney's conservatorship lasts a bit longer than expected. - iHeartHaters

A Paula Deen cooking class can't be far down that road. - TexnDoc

In 2030, the Insane Clown Posse is still rolling, and twice as insane. - SATANDEZ

When nurses are being trained to give happy endings, you know the recession is real. - ghettoprincess

Runners-up:

Octodad finally revealed! Submits DNA and recounts first date with Nadya Suleman. - Sandbitch

Fluffer School Brochure: Did you excel behind the bleachers instead of the classroom? Well, then this school has what you need. We will teach you such standards as the Dutch-rudder and more!
Now Enrolling! Call today! - urmomma

News at 11: Bruce Jenner caught cheating! - Hard.Hat

Source (Thanks Joe)

A repentant Jude Law finally smashes his beer goggles once and for all. - Plecostomus

Runners-up:

This is the natural reaction to viewing the Shauna Sands sex tape. - TFBuckFutter (Ed note: I do not co-sign this)

Meth Face: You're doing it wrong. - RecessVillain

This cleansing ritual, developed by Picasso during his cubism phase, was perfected by Gaga during her fugism phase. - Sam

I guess if you're still a virgin by age 40, cremating your genitals is a natural step to take. - suze

Runners-up:

FLASH FORWARD 2026: Bronx Mowgli, Rocco and Jayden make good on their childhood pact to burn their genitals rather than promulgate their gene pool.... - fleawatch

Everyone is all up in arms about what happened to the Olsen Twins and Jodie Sweetin. Nobody ever wonders what happened to Walter Duckface. Well, here you have it. And it's much much worse. - TFBuckFutter

Next time bring lube to the circle jerk. - rovex

VIA WOW Report

Lucite: Making holes more accessible since 1972. - freebird

Runners-up:

"Nope, my tits aren't here, either." - Sweetas

That is not what the director meant when he asked if you could do ass to mouth. - ghettoprincess

(Thanks Ryan)

THIS is what you get for naming me BRONX MOWGLI! - snowpiece

Runners-up:

Douche-on-a-Stick by Ed Hardy. Child not included. - C.A. Stone

First "Balloon Boy" and now "Tree Dad"... please stop the Mediawhoring!!! - Not_That_Steph_The_Other_Steph

Children of the Cornhole - mccullen

Note: This could be a little NSFWish since there's crack involved, so the full monty is after the jump. JUMP!

Tommy Girl finds a way to make himself look taller and enjoy a nice man crotch wrapped around his neck. - freebird

Runners-up:

Sean Preston and Jayden James band together to make a run for it. - Copper

What A-Rod and Derek Jeter do when off the field. A little butt grabbin' is nothin' - Cadet Cougar

I KNEW there was no way that was all KFed under there! - snowpiece

(Thanks Veronica)

If you squint your eyes and look closely, you can read the Kabbalah passages in Madge's muscles. - Guille

Runners-up:

Once again, Hasselhoff's daughter has more proof of her Dad's drinking problem. This happens to be footage of his liver trying to escape. - NoAnjl

When Richard Gere told the gerbil to 'go towards the light' he didnt mean his mouth! - El Bastardo

The wonderful world of steroids. It shrinks your peen and regenerates it in your arm. - Loozer

(Thanks Renee)

Ooooh, so that's how Rainbow Brite earned the new makeover. She sucked Karl Largerfeld's dick. - aautepminer

Runners-up:

Oh fuck, it's true. Mackenzie did have sexual relations with her dad. - NoAnjl

I guess Kfed took his weight loss a bit far...now we'll just call him Kdead. - leasemb

Joan and Melissa Rivers are always clowning around on the red carpet. - Napes

VIA PictureIsUnrelated (Thanks Kevin, I think)

Before being seen in public, each one of George Clooney's girlfriends has to pass the "can you carry the weight of George's ego without shitting your pants" survival test. - Sandbitch

Runners-up:

Offering your cooter as a sacrifice to the flaming Dildos of the Douche Shrine will not only get you John Mayer, it will make you look like Jennifer Aniston on steroids circa 1989.. - Lory

If you liked it then you shoulda put a flamer on it. - Biddle

A performance artist's representation of Britney and K Fed's marriage. - moistiest

VIA FunPic