Big Ones

In his new autobiography, "Ron Jeremy: The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz," porn star Ron Jeremy confirms that Paris Hilton once asked him if she could see his famous peen. At a party 3 years ago in Hollywood Paris and Bijou Phillips asked Ron if they could see it. He told them, "I'll show you mine, and you show me yours."
Of course they agreed and the three went into the bathroom where they showed their parts. The girls lifed up their shirts and Ron dropped his pants. Bijou then turned to Paris and said, "'Could this be considered cheating?' "

Ron said that was it and they each went on their merry way. As if. You know Bijou went for the nuts and Paris went for the truck. It's like giving two dogs a bone. Literally!

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A few months ago piece of grease, Vincent Gallo, offered himself for $50,000. He considered this a bargain, because he's so hot. Well...he's now upped his price even though nobody took advantage of this deal of a lifetime. He's now offering himself for $100,000 plus expenses.

He said, "Heavy-set, older red-heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. No way, José."

Vincent also advised women interested in this deal to watch his film "The Brown Bunny" where he shows his wang to make sure they can take his girth. In the movie Vincent famously gets serviced by Chloe Sevigny. Dumb ho even swallows his load like the used trash can she is. Click here to see Vincent's amazing man meat. It's as appetizing as a rotted Vienna sausage.

Oh and he's still selling his sperm for $1 million. Please, this caca for brains is just trying to get some attention. By saying "even black girls and red-heads," he's obviously trying to start something. That being said, I'd hit it.

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Damn! Damn! Damn! Brian Austin Green aka David Silver aka Horse Hung is off the market. Well, legally anyway. He is in the process of getting married to Megan Fox. The two have been together for two years. Brian, 33, and Megan, 20, have not set a date and may possibly elope.

David has a kid with Vanessa Marcil aka Brenda from General Hospital.

I only care, because Brian is said to be packing large. Otherwise, he's a douche. Megan Fox is kind of hot though. I will cut her though. Nothing comes between me and ten inches. Well, maybe a cheese pretzel.

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Is the new James Bond, Daniel Craig, sporting a huge one? His “Casino Royale” co-star, Judi Dench, said she caught a glimpse of his fat dick when he was dressing in his trailer which was across from hers.

She said, "It's an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn't have said that. How uncouth of me!"

That dirty old woman! She’s hot. It has been rumored that Daniel is working with a large one, but I just don’t see it. These pics were leaked last year and I’m not impressed. Who am I fooling? I’d hit it.

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