Would You Hit It?

Even though Robbie Williams is wearing a lady shirt from Frederick's of Hollywood, I'd still get with that. The mangy mutt laying on his chest might give your crotch a rug burn, but it's worth it.

Here's Robbie and his hairy chichis leaving Villa in West Hollywood last night.

Put on your sunglasses. Keanu Reeves is one bright bitch. He probably uses SPF: Bitch Don't Even Think Of Going Into The Sun. It is nice to see Keanu in the water though. Unfortunately, fleas and scabies can swim, but at least he's washing off some of his stank. You know that girl with him came out of the water dirtier than when she went in.

Keanu is also more interested in picking the street shit out of his fingernails than looking at his topless friend.

Oh and to answer my own question, DUH! I'd have to apply oven cleaner to my skin after fucking with filthy ass Keanu, but it would be worth it.

Here's Keanu with topless friend on the French Riviera today.

DUH! One of my life goals is to do fuckey fuckey times with all of the pepaws who have played James Bond in the movies. So far I'm 0/6! FAIL!

Here's Pierce Brosnan doing pepaw sporty stuff in Hawaii yesterday.

Brody Jenner's tattoo might as well say "DOUCHE" because that's I'm all reading when I look at it. I'd hit it, but he totally sweats Axe body spray and his breath stinks like Bud. You know his hairy tittays jiggle when he's hitting it hardcore and he screams "here comes the party" right before he cums. Yeah, he's hot.

Here's Brody with his girlfriend and some friends in Maui.

It's Jason Mraz and HELL YES I'd hit that. We can rub our twig bodies together in hopes of starting a fire. A Rojo Caliente fire! She would pop out of one of our asses and shout, "It's Rojo Caliente time!" I wish.

Jason posted this picture of himself on his MySpace along with boring shit about jet lag and his vegan diet. Shut up and strip!

VIA Towleroad

Thanks David

Yesh, I would. Only because it's rumored that the dick is major. I would have to sit in a bath of nail polish remover afterwards to get the Simpson smegma off of me.

We would also have to "shave 'n fuck." That hairy patch on his belly is distracting. I don't mind landing strips, but that shit needs a little maintenance. I bet his peen bush is like the damn amazon jungle. You need a machete to get through that mess. I guess Jenny Aniston doesn't mind pubies between her teeth. Beggars can't be choosers!

Here's John in Hawaii this past weekend. Jenny wasn't with him. He needed to spend time with the "boys."

One of Titan's thighs is the size of your granny's Frigidaire, but don't let his brawn fool you. You know his bathroom cabinet is filled with perfume, bath salts, peeling masks, Feria and bronzers. Lots of bronzer. He probably uses bronzer as lube. That's how much he loves bronzer.

Yes, I'd hit it. The dick looks like it has some sort of growth defect, but that's never stopped me before. Besides, Titan probably cuddles like a lil' kitten.

Here's Titan with some of the other American Gladiators in NYC today. And there's no way I'd ever get with Wolf. He totally takes his character to the bedroom and I don't want some bitch growling in my ear while I'm trying to get to a higher place. That's distraction.

Dax Shepard is the poor man's Ashton Kutcher which is saying a lot, because Ashton Kutcher IS the poor man's Ashton Kutcher. Even though Dax might have body, the bitch doesn't do shit for my genitals. He looks like he would fart during boning and think it's funny. Ok, it would be funny, but not coming from him.

And that tattoo is an ugly stamp. It looks like Lindsay Lohan rubbed her crotch all over his shoulder and arm.

Here's Dax being a douche while shooting "When in Rome" in NYC yesterday.

Do you think Bill Kaulitiz's carpet match the drapes? If so, a bitch will get their eye poked out while playing his skin flute. Scratch that. I can't even picture him with a peen. I can't. Don't get me wrong, he's a hot hedgehog tranny, but there's nothing sexual about him. That's why I find it strange that so many girls want that shit. They would probably give up High School Musical DVDs just to touch him. That's major. I think I love him, because he looks like Pizzazz from The Misfits.

Here's Tokio Hotel at TRL yesterday and then later at a Virgin Megastore signing in Times Square.

MAC Cosmetics number one client, Zac Efron, went shirtless on the set of High School Musical 3. Tweens and pedos everywhere probably fainted and shit from looking at these pictures.

You know, Zac is way too pretty for my ass. I like them a little rough, a little fucked up. Besides, he looks like a fast cummer. Gross. Talking sexy times about Zac makes me feel like Jacko. Homegirl is 20, but he still looks like a fucking kid. I'd take Carrot Top over Zac any day. I know, I need therapy already. I'm waiting for them to offer it at the free clinic.