Jordan & Harvey

There's a few rumors going around that Katie and Peter's marriage is quickly reaching its expiration date. So what's a famewhore to do? Katie got on a plane from London to Los Angeles to be with her big gay husband, so that they could make a show of things to prove that things are just peachy orangy. Although, Katie is probably just seizing the opportunity to get a little more publicity. These two never get sick of getting ass fucked with the big attention stick.

Last night, they held hands while leaving some restaurant in West Hollywood, which obviously means they are still licking the fake tan grease off of each other's dirt stars. Obviously. If they're going to fake this shit, they could have at least tried to act it up a bit for the cameras. This was a fuck effort.

Peter looks like he'd rather be holding on to a ten-inch dick and Katie is concentrating hard on keeping her tattered tarantula lashes from poking her in the eye. Bitch looks like a whory bunny with those lashes!

I think the most annoying thing about this shit, is that Katie didn't bring Harvey with her! She probably knew he wouldn't stand for this fakery. He keeps it real.

Katie Price was once again out in London today whoring out her line of hair vibrators, pube irons and dirt star dryers.

Katie was obviously getting into the Halloween early spirit by wearing this fugly shit out in public. On the right side, she looks like a broke down go-go dancer on the missing episode of "The Jetsons." You know, the one where Judy is forced to dance topless at a strip club to bail Rosie out of jail after she was wrongfully accused of child touching Elroy. Katie played her nemesis. On the left side, she looks like Jem's slow half-sister who suffers from chronic cold ankle syndrome.

And don't try to blame this fuckery on Harvey!

Pamela Anderson is off in England pimping out her boring ass reality show "Girl On The Loose" aka "Loosey Goosey" and she was asked how she feels about one of the UK's biggest famewhores Katie Price.

Pammy tells The Sun, "I have no idea how she became famous. She shows off her kids all the time in TV shows - that's beyond low. I’d never do that. Kids can’t make that decision at that age, can they?"

This is coming from a ho whose kids can open up their lap tops, type in a few words and see their mother and father doing gross shit on the internets. I'm going to side with Katie on this one. If she didn't whore out her kids on TV, we'd never see Harvey's precious face. That would be just wrong. I mean, we'd never have amazing and magical moments like this one (yes, I'm posting it again):

Katie Price covered up her titty balls in some kind of "Ringling Bros. gone whorey" costume to perform in the annual Whore Horse of the Year Show today. Unfortunately, Harvey wasn't in the audience. He was too busy working on his rap album or something.

Katie and her horse "Jordan's Glamour Girl" performed some slutty dressage routine for the audience. Surprisingly, the routine didn't involve Katie taking off her top and shaking it for the crowd.

However, guess what one of the songs she performed to was? No, it wasn't one of her own songs. Worse. Color Me Badd's "I Wanna Sex U Up." Why in Equus hell did she choose that shit? This might sound prudish, but if you're rubbing your pussy bone against a horse and you're known for being a big fat skank, maybe that's not the best song choice.

This shit reminds me of the time I went to my little cousin's dance recital and watched a bunch of 6-year-olds bust it to "Smack My Bitch Up."

It looks like Peter Andre isn't the only one in the family who knows how to ride a big, strong horse. In Peter's case, when I say "big, strong horse" I mean "big veiny dick."

Katie Price has said in the past that her big dream is to compete in the 2010 Olympics. Hah. I think Harvey has a better chance of getting in than this bitch does.

Katie is seen here getting one step closer to her Olympic fantasy by rehearsing for the Horse of the Year Show. She's going to have to remind the judges which one is the horse. But at least she didn't pain the poor thing pink or bedazzle his hooves. She's probably saving that shit for the Olympics.

There's been a rumor going around that the two fag tarts known as Katie and Peter are on the verge of breaking up. So what do a couple of famewhores do when there's break-up rumors? They slap on the bronzer, hike up their tits, awkwardly hold each other's hands and then go to the biggest paparazzi hot spot. That's what they did last night. And don't they look so much in love? Gross. He looks like he would rather be holding on to a hard dick dripping with pre-cum. That's very Tommy Girl of him.

The rumors started when some friend of theirs told Closer Magazine (via The Sun) that Peter has had it with Katie's skinny ass body and bad attitude. The friend said: "Pete really has had enough. He's told her that unless she treats him with some compassion and like an equal then their wedding vows don't mean a thing. She makes him feel like shit. He'll be getting ready and she'll say, 'What are you wearing that for?' It really upsets him."

In her defense, Peter probably wants to leave the house in pink sequined coochie cutters and a sheer tank top that says "POWER BOTTOM" on it. Star Jones had the same problem.

I don't think these two attention fuckers will ever split up. As long as OK! Magazine keeps putting them on their covers and networks keep giving them reality shows, they will keep faking their fraudulent marriage. I just have a small tip for them. The next time they fake it for the pappies, they should bring Harvey along. I would much rather see pictures of Harvey than these two balls of orange grease balls.

That's either the sweetest and most patient horsey on the planet or he's drugged up like Amy Wino. Imagine this: You're a horsey with powerful legs and Katie Price is just standing there, asking to be kicked in her skanky ass. Of course, you'd kick that trick and watch her fly. This horsey is nicer than me. He stood there and put up with her fuckery while wearing some tranny Barbie shit!

Later on, the horsey showed Katie what he really thought of her line of horse clothing and riders. His critique came in the form of a pile of piping hot horsey caca.

Seriously, Katie put out a line of fucking horse clothing?! The only pony who is going to buy this ugly shit is Heidi Montag!

First of all, sorry for the lack of posts this morning. I caught some kind of cold earlier this week and it is really fucking me in the ass without lube today. I'm trying to hold on for dear life! May Chicken Cutlets be with me. Tommy Girl has put a curse on me. No wonder I'm always having nightmares about little green peens. So...if I'm slower than usual today and I don't make much sense (again, more than usual), that's the reason. Now let's get on with it!

Katie Price wandered the streets of Los Angeles yesterday buying a bunch of shit she really doesn't need. Katie will usually vomits up all kinds of information about herself, but she wasn't talking yesterday. The paps asked her if she got her chichis reduced. She wouldn't say, but it looks like whatever they took from her tittays, they put in her lips. Maybe that's why she couldn't talk. She couldn't open her fucking mouth. If that's the case, she should get them bigger. Her pout looks like Tommy Girl's ass lips (that curse just got stronger) after a game of "shock the booty" with Johnny Travolta.

Katie Price has admitted that she loves to waste her cash on buying tons outfits and shoes for her one-year-old daughter Princess Tiaammiiiaaa or whatever her name is. Princess has over 100 pairs of shoes even though she can't walk yet.

Katie told The Sun, “She’s got over a hundred pairs and her clothes are ridiculous — she’s got a wardrobe but I’ve had to order three more because all her clothes are on rails. She’ll never wear it all but I can’t help buying all this stuff.” She also can't help the fact that she's got silicone for brains.

I will bet you half of my Beanie Baby collection (it was the thing to do in the 90s) that 50 of those 100 pairs of shoes are Heelarious high heels. Katie probably has stock in that company.

Instead of wasting money on shit Princess Tiaamamaaii isn't going to wear, she should put that into the "Change Your Name Fund." Her daughter is going to need to access that fund when she's old enough to realize her name is Princess Tiaaamaiamaia.

Here's Greasy Chicken Bone and her big gay husband outside the plastic surgeon's office in Beverly Hills yesterday.

Katie Price bent over to give us all a final glimpse at her famous fake chichis. Or maybe she's just pushing out a doody bubble. She sort of has that look in her eyes. I bet you her shits are covered in fake tan grease. She takes Alli shits on she's not even on Alli!

Katie and her big gay husband, Peter Andre, are terrorizing Los Angeles at the moment. Yup, there's a reason why all Los Angeles area grocery stores out of Crisco. Katie and Peter need to stay greasy at all times.

Katie is in town to have a final surgery on her plastic chichis. Last year, she took them from a 32G to a 32F. She held a press conference stating she wanted to go down to a 32C. Okay, she didn't really hold a press conference, but she might as well have. She fucking told everyone. Shit, I even think she called my mommy and told her personally.

As much as I can't stand this greasy Slim Jim anymore, I'm going to miss her big tittays. They were the reason I first fell in love with her. And now that they are going away, there's no reason for me to hold on. Goodbye, my sweet Jordan! Goodbye! Seriously, how is she going to put together sentences now that her huge breastes are being shrunk down? Those things are the brains of her operation!

And look at these pictures of Peter Andre at the grocery store. Don't tell me he isn't thinking about a juicy, veiny, wet cock.