Jordan & Harvey

It doesn't bother me that this tacky bitch is wearing a crown, but it does bother me that she's wearing a crown with that outfit. From the neck up, she's a contestant in a local drag queen pageant. From the neck down, she's a day-shift hooker in Colorado. The two don't go together! Well, at least that fugly crown distracts from her baby poo fake tan and the fat spider legs coming out of her eyes.

Here's Katie Price at a signing for a book she didn't write. I also threw in some pictures of her big gay husband out in about with his butt buddy last night. I think Peter Andre's ring used to belong to Joan Collins.

SHOCKING! I know. Next you're going to tell me that her chichis aren't real and that Peter Andre doesn't rinse with fresh man nut every morning.

Katie Price's first book 300,000 copies in six weeks, her second sold 160,000 copies in six months and her third book is currently is in stores in the UK. She said she doesn't actually sit there and write the whole book. She just comes up with the story. So basically, she's telling us that she does nothing and her life is meaningless. Carry on!

She said, "I'm not going to lie, I don't sit there with a typewriter and write it, of course I don't. I don't have time to do that. I say how I want the storyline to be, each chapter is done, I read through it change it and then it goes away to be written. So I'm not going to sit here and say I write it word by word because I'd be lying. I actually say how I want the story and that's how it happens."

She's probably lying about that too. She can't read. You know Harvey Price writes everything. He sits in his playroom, spending hours and hours on his laptop. She pays him in animal crackers and plastic rulers.

Source: Daily Mail

Katie Price has obviously been rifling through Peter Andre's closet again. This bitch is the gayest feather duster I've ever seen in my life. She probably comes complete with a Liberace soundtrack. I've seen brokedown showgirls in Laughlin, NV look classier.

Katie has become known for "dressing up" to book signings. Yes, I said book signings. Her third novel "Angel Uncovered" is out in the UK. You know what's sadder than this outfit? The fact that I've read her last two books. I must say, they weren't bad. But this is coming from a dumb bitch who thinks Jackie Collins is the next Tolstoy.

Here's more pictures of Katie at her book signing today and also pictures of Katie out last night with her sister and main gay. Her titties look like they've been through a couple of wars. Bruised, traumatized and scarred! They need a hug. Katie also didn't wear her wedding ring, but fret not! It probably just got stuck up Peter Andre's ass while she was finger banging him. It will stay up there for a few years. Peter's ass muscles are no joke.

Katie Price was so moved after watching a BBC documentary about disabled orphans in Bulgaria that she wants to adopt one. In related news, Bulgaria has just announced that fake-tittied celebrities from the UK can no longer adopt from their country.

Kate told The Sun, “We want to be able to help a child to have a better life. The program moved me to tears. So many babies who are born with disabilities find it hard to find adoptive parents – no one wants them. So Pete and I have been to see a lawyer about adopting a baby from abroad.”

I love how Katie tells the press instead of going out and just doing it. I'm sure before she visited her lawyers, she visited the magazines first to see how much cash she could get for the exclusive pictures. Harvey is not amused by any of this.

Thanks Donna

Harvey Price was on some TV show in the UK yesterday and he was nice enough to throw his mom a publicity bone by bringing her along. As much as I think Katie Price looks like a bruised orange who dresses like a tween prostitute, she's not completely whoring out her Harvey. She whores out the other kids, but I think she goes on these talk shows with Harvey to speak out and help others. Ugh. I hate being nice. Quick! Give me a baby badger to slap!

Here's part 1 of Katie and Harvey's interview. I really have no idea what she said, because I couldn't take my concentration off of Harvey playing with that plastic ruler thing. Mesmerizing.

Click here to see part 2

I apologize for this close-up, but I had to show you how naturally pretty skanks completely bust up their faces by asking their make-up artist for "The Xtina." Katie Price looks like she was gang banged by a make-up counter. This shit is only okay for tranny clowns and drag queens from the 80s.

Katie, her 200lbs of make-up and her big gay husband had reason to celebrate today. A court in London awarded them an undisclosed amount of cash and a public apology from The News of the World. The tabloid published a story from their ex-nanny, Becky Gauld. The story labeled the two drag queens as bad parents.

Katie told reporters outside of court, "Pete and I love our kids and would do anything for them. We came here today to see that justice was done and that our names were cleared. Now that the paper has accepted the story wasn't true, apologised to us, and paid us damages and our costs, we believe the record has been set straight and our names have been cleared." How the hell can she open her mouth and speak those words with all that shit on her face!? I'm impressed.

They said half of the money would go to charity and the other half would go into a trust fund for their three kids. I'm guessing the charity is "The Pasty White People In Need Of A Fake Tan Foundation."

Katie Price (the whorebag formerly known as Jordan) and Peter Andre's CD of love songs has gone to the birds! The Sun found 40,000 copies of the CD covered in bird shit.

This is what these two homos deserves! They ruined some of our beloved classics! I mean, they covered "Don't Go Breaking My Heart," "I've Had The Time Of My Life" and "Islands in the Stream." That is a gay crime!

The bitch that found this shit said, "I thought I’d stumbled on a stash of Coldplay’s new album ready for sending out, so I was gutted when I saw it was some rubbish Jordan and Peter Andre tried to get in the charts. Many of the CDs were covered in bird crap and had gone mouldy."

Those birds should really get jobs as critics for Billboard. They know their shit!

Below is Katie and Peter singing "A Whole New World" live. Katie seriously has the voice of an angel......slowly being strangled.

Peter Andre said that he desperately wants to adopt his stepson, Harvey Price. Harvey's bio-father, Dwight Yorke, has hardly been around and I'm sure Harvey is over that bitch. Peter has helped Katie Price raise little Harvey for the past few years.

He told The Sun, "I'd love to adopt Harvey. If I was allowed, I would love to. It's a big process and not that easy. It's something I would definitely love to achieve in the next couple of years. He IS my son - he's mine."

Guess what Petey? You're not allowed. I already have dibs. My name is at the top of the waiting list. Seriously, Harvey should ditch both those loons and move to Hollywood! The movie industry is in dire need of a leading man like Harvey.

And what does Harvey have to say about Peter wanting to adopt him? Harvey responded with, "FUCK OFF!" I totally overuse that clip, but I can't help it. I'm fucking obsessed with hit.

This is exactly why Harvey Price is my favorite person on this planet. Don't tell me this was an accident either. Harvey meant to flip off the camera because he doesn't appreciate Jordan whoring him out like this without paying up!

Harvey and Latarian Milton need to team up and do "hoodrat stuff" together. The world would never be the same if these bad asses joined forces.

Visit Celebrity Baby Scoop to see more pictures of Harvey and his family in OK! Magazine.

And just because, below is a touching video of Harvey showing his love for Peter Andre. I've posted this shit before, but it's a classic.

Thanks Missy

The other day I said Katie Price looks like a burnt-up Elvira. I guess I'm not the only one that thinks this, because she's reportedly in talks to play Elvira in a new movie. The Daily Star reports that the original Elvira, Cassandra Peterson, has been in talks to do a remake of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, but she doesn't want to do it herself. Producers now want Katie Price to do it.

A source said, "It's a very good time to be British in Hollywood and you can't fail to notice Jordan - she knows how to shine." The bitch only shines because of ten layers of fake tanner and a few dozen more layers of bronzer.

The source went on to say, "Everyone was at a loss until they spotted Jordan on a gossip website. She just looks perfect and then they discovered she has a penchant for one-liners. She will have to lose the tan, though. And Cassandra's Elvira worked because of the mixture of her dark image and her Valley Girl wit - so Kate will have to learn an American accent."

Why the hell did I waste hours of my life on "The Search for the Next Elvira" if they aren't even going to use the chick that won?

The Elvira movie is one of the biggest pieces of caca ever made, but I still can't find the strength to turn the channel when it comes on late at night.

Here's some pics of Katie, Princess Tiaaamamaiaia (however the hell her name is spelled) and the biggest homo in the world leaving Los Angeles for Florida on Friday night.