Jordan & Harvey
Monday, January 7th 2008
Who The Hell Is This?
Ugh...I miss the old Jordan. Jordan showed off her new and smaller tits while holidaying in Australia with Princess Tiaamii and Peter Andre. Jordan also looks like she's gotten her nose chopped up too. What the hell is Jordan going to do now? Her huge ass tits were the most interesting thing about her. Now she's going to have to step it up by saying even more ridiculous things.
And where the hell is Harvey?
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Wednesday, December 26th 2007
Following In Her Sister's Boob Steps
Jordan's 18-year-old sister, Sophia Price, has quit her job as a hairdresser in hopes of becoming a famous skank model like her sister. Sophia said she wants to be just like her sister by posing for Page 3 and Playboy.
She said, “I want to be as big as Jordan, but not in the boob department! I wouldn’t ever go massive like Kate – it would look ridiculous as I’m only a tiny 5ft 4in! I’d just like to go a bit bigger, maybe one size up to a C cup. I really like the bullet boob look at the moment. But I won’t be going topless just yet because it won’t leave me anywhere to go as a model – and that’s important to me."
It sounds to me like Sophia has inherited two things from her older sister: being a skank and talking about anything.
Sophia said that she's been limited to swimwear shoots, but now that she's 18 she can be more slutty. “I can be so much more daring now I’m 18. It felt great being able to pose in such sexy lingerie at last. Kate’s going to love the pictures, especially this one of me in the knee-high boots.”
Jordan is famous, because she has or had huge, fake chi-chis. Sophia needs to get with the program get the hell out of the game.
I sort of love Sophia though. When I grow up I want to be a whore! Such a lovely thing to look up to.
Source: The Sun
Saturday, December 22nd 2007
Smaller Chi-Chis?
Jordan arrived in London this morning covering up her chest sparking rumors that bitch did indeed have her titties taken down in Los Angeles. Jordan was in the hospital while she was in Los Angeles and said she "fell down the stairs." Yeah fell down and burst her titties that's why she had to have new ones put in. Jordan said recently that she was going to have a reduction.
It also looks like she got her lips filled. Just a regular day in plastic city!
Wednesday, December 19th 2007
A Little Nip? A Little Tuck?
Jordan's MySpace put out this little bulletin saying she's in the hospital after falling down a flight of stairs in Los Angeles. Luckily, she hasn't had her boobs shrunken yet, so they were able to protect her when she fell. Fake boobs save lives. Shit, those boobs probably got her into that mess. Too top heavy.
While she's there she might as well get those things taken out.
I'm sure she'll have all sorts of sordid and explicit hospital tales to tell when she gets out.
Thanks Amy
Friday, December 14th 2007
Heated Vibrators
Jordan said she really doesn't like sex toys, because they are too cold for a coochie. In an interview with Cosmo magazine, the ever-demure Jordan talked about heated vibrators.
She said, "Sex toys aren't exactly like real life, are they? They're as cold as anything. They should make them heated, bring out a new heated range."
There's already a few vibrators out there that you can get warm before using. i just know these things, don't ask. Jordan probably wants it piping hot. Um...talk about clit burns. That doesn't sound very pleasant. I'm surprised Jordan has any kind of feeling down there from all the action it's gotten.
She should try a curling iron, but warn that dumb bird not to open it while it's inside. Ick.
Source: The Sun
Wednesday, December 12th 2007
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
She's a blonde! Finally, Peter Andre gets to have a little fun. Jordan and Peter switched hair colors. Petey showed off his hideous new hair color as the two left a medical center in Los Angeles yesterday. Did he also bleach his beard? No, not Jordan...the beard on his face.
All he needs is some fake tits and he'll look just like her.
Images: Mr. Paparazzi
Friday, November 30th 2007
Sister My Sister
Jordan was out and about in London last night kissing her sister and showing off her Mrs. Andre panties. I see track marks! Seriously, Jordan might have been out to celebrate her tits getting chopped off. She's apparently getting a breast reduction any day now.
Let's see...she's going to go from a 44ZZZ to like a 42WWW?
She's always so classy! Such an elegant woman.
Wednesday, November 28th 2007
Harvey Does Not Accept Your Apology
Heat Magazine has apologized for the Harvey stickers after disability groups complained. Heat included a sticker featuring Jordan's disabled son Harvey with the words "Harvey Wants To Eat Me" next to him. Mark Frith, the magazine's editor said “no offence was intended, but if any was caused we would like to apologise”. He went on to say that he's personally writing a letter to Jordan and Peter Andre. I already spoke to Harvey and he said, "FUCK OFFFFFFFFF."
In other Harvey news, Jordan recently said that he's now playing a little too roughly with his new sister, Princess Tiaamii. Jordan said, "He plays with Junior nicely but occasionally he will walk past him and give him a sly little slap. Sometimes he will slap Princess on the head as well and she'll just look like a nodding dog - a bit shocked with her eyes big but she's so good-natured and placid she doesn't cry."
At least he doesn't try to bite her eyes out like he does with Jordan. It's just Harvey's way of saying hello. A quick slap to the face. I should try that. Just go up to someone and slap them and explain it's the way I say hello.
Tuesday, November 27th 2007
Nobody Fucks With Harvey!
Jordan is going to be pissed! Actually, she'll be pissed that she didn't come up with the idea herself to make more dough. Holy Moly! reports that Heat Magazine in the UK is giving away "Harvey" stickers for free. The stickers feature Harvey with the words "Harvey wants to eat me!" next to him. In case you didn't know, Harvey is a disabled child with many, many health issues. How dare they make fun of that poor, innocent boy! Shame!
With all that being said, how do I get my hands on one?
Friday, November 23rd 2007
Oven Roasted And Juicy
Quick, someone take out the bird out, it looks like its done! Or wait, is that the yams? I can't tell.
Here's Jordan whoring out yet another product, her perfume 'Stunning' and meeting fans at the Perfume Shop in Castle Court Shopping Centre in Belfast, Ireland today. Stunning huh yeah she was able to stun me with her orange-y glow, she looks like a neon carrot with tits!
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