The CAPTION THIS Contest

Mama June's wedding reception met every expectation. - oryx

Runners-up:

Stills from the Miley and Liam sex tape nobody needed. - cmclaughlin09

Even the most exotic people still have the same old pedestrian argument about should the toilet paper go over or under. - citizenstrange

via The Chive

Tommy Girl's beard casting process heats up - they've reached the "lie like a rug" stage. - OurMissC

Runners-up:

These came spilling down Baggage Claim and Leonardo still protested he "had nothing to do with it!" - TexnDoc

From the creators of Slip n Slide, it's Astroglide. For the dick in you! - Boys for Pele

MTV presents "Teen Moms go Buckwild on the Jersey Shore" - parissucksliterally

via Izismile

"Teen Mom Farrah decided to expand her marketing campaign for her porno, The "double doody" plunger now comes FREE with each Backdoor Teen Mom purchase!" - The one and only JAMS

Runners-up:

Anal beads and a plunger, now you can clog and unclog at the same time. - svp

IN THIS ECONOMY, even the Lands End Overstock website has reached a new low. "Not quite perfect" ski poles, my ass! - BaconSlut

Suck & Fuck. - itsthebritneybitch

via The Chive

A rare sighting of the Ginger Baby Conception Ritual. - annobanano

Runners-up:

And this is why James Taylor will never again do Ecstasy with Gary Busey. - Whaaaaat

Tan Mom: "Told ya'll my tape was gonna be way hotter than that Teen Mom wannabe, and it cost only a fraction of what she spent to make it. We saved a ton of MONIES on lighting." - OB420

Archeologists were stunned and elated to stumble upon highly detailed cave drawings of the first male strip clubs, wherein cavemen held actual clubs. - herroyalflyness

via Izismile

"Free at last!!" thought Bruce Jenner, as he escaped from Greece on a passing ice floe. - dbella

Runners-up:

The narwhal sex tour is everything I had hoped for. - cgwalt

Taking into account extreme changes in weather patterns due to global warming, Donald Trump contemplates his new free floating casino off the coast of Florida. - OneEyedSue

Poor Chaz will do just about anything to cover up those lingering hot flashes. - treasure

via NBC Photo Blog (Thanks, Sean)

Gwyneth Paltrow's "Goop the Musical" preformed by her pure, odorless, organically produced bowel movements. - flori-duh

Runners-up:

First E! brought you Kim and Kourtney Take Miami. Now get ready for Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Take a Dump. - Rocket

Teen Mom Farrah's porno merchandise, such as the poo pillows, didn't do so well. - misstia

Dairy Queen tried to increase sales of chocolate soft serve with a themed playground. It didn't work. - Fruitibras

via PIU

Paris Hilton decided that she did in fact want to kidnap the Kardashians, but Kim was the only one that would fit. - alyberry

Runners-up:

Not what he meant when he said he wanted a big, burly bear stuffed in his hatchback. - Mabel Hodges

...you could almost faintly hear Ranger Smith cackle with delight: "Oh how the tables have turned" as the car sped off, deep inside Jellystone Park... - Miss_Ann_Thrope

via Izismile

No different than my office, a bunch of dildos on a laptop..... - fleawatch

Runners-up:

Rihanna finally wised up and cloned the only attractive thing about Chris Brown. - Ecce Homo

Since Drake won't murder her pussy a depressed Amanda Bynes decided to murder her ass and thighs instead. - TFBuckFutter

A Scientology Easter basket—melts in your mouth, creams in your hand. - tbeez

(Thanks, Ben)

"No, no no, onscreen, we're enemies, offscreen, our relationship is....special, and that's all I will say about that" Alien, in a statement to the press after the leaked photographs. - TheWhit

Runners-up:

"I don't care. That's not my job. My job is to show up and be cute by 11 o'clock and get the fuck off that show by 12." Whoopi Goldberg continues to not give a fuck. - johnnysgirl

To Catch a Predator, May sweeps edition. Chris Hansen might wanna rethink this one. - But.Seriously.Folks

The centerfold of L. Ron Hubbard's hidden porn stash. - ISprainedMyUvula

via Break.com

Boob job $4500, fancy undergarments $500, horse head mask $250, profit as a LeAnn Rimes look alike at a strip club? $12. - misstia

Runners-up:

In an US Weekly exclusive, Tori Spelling reveals how she spices things up for her husband in the bedroom. - Zombabe

Miley's desperation to keep Liam has reached an all-time high; her latest plea to him is to "hop back on that pony, cowboy, and give our love another chance." - oopssorry

via Evil Milk