The CAPTION THIS Contest

I Love New York... I love it so much, I swallowed it whole. - MattDingo

Runners-up:

Before making a run for it, Captain Kotex takes a peek to make sure the coast is clear. - Chocolate Thunda

So this is what it means when they say “results may vary” at the end of diet commercials. - FamousBeer

Thanks Butler

From the creators of Hannah Montana, comes Disney's latest sensation! Morgan Oregon, He has the best of both worlds. - zomay

Runners-up:

Martin Short needs to just accept that his career is over and stop pulling stunts like this. - Migraine Sally

"Save the Queerleader, save the world" - Ginger Chang

Bonus! Here's more pics of this hot bitch.

Thanks Mia

Kim Kardassian is TOTALLY going to ask for that necklace for Valentine's Day! - Madam S.

Runners-up:

The long lost prequel to "2 Girls, 1 Cup" - fanofhomer

"So...do you blow dry?" - Sweetas

When his residuals stopped coming for his role in "The Birds," Maurice moved away from Hollywood and became a dental hygienist. - I Heart Jack

Runner-up:

When I asked for a big black pecker in my mouth, this isn't what I wanted. - Jaydawg

Thanks Peaches

Hot Slut Of The Year, Phoebe Price, reveals she too has jumped on the celebrity baby bandwagon and introduces us to her toddler, Half Price. - StewieGriffin

Runners-up:

Proof positive that every hairless beaver in Hollywood is knocked up. - City Barbie

Joel Madden was right, Harlow does look just like her mom, Nicole. - BrandyWine

VIA NearlyGood

Thanks JoeSchmoe

Chihuahua thinking: " I don't know much about human anatomy, but I thought there was supposed to be more than just a head attached to a butt crack". - Miss Priss

Runner-up:

My career with Taco Bell is ruined. Ruined. Everyone is calling me a chiHAHA. - Hoozer

Thanks Peaches

Moby's dick - epekia

Runner-up:

no one had the heart tell brit-brit and alli simms that isn't sean preston... - Cmoney

It's the world's biggest fish finger!

Source: Metro

Lumberjack flannel and a dick bigger than most men? Gotta be Rosie. - ISprainedMyUvula

Runner-up:

Lee press-on nails, a tartan farmer's shirt, and handjobs. Sounds like a Huckabee fundraiser. - Niowesda

Thanks Rachel

When Tom Cruise heard that he would win an award for Biggest Dick 2008, he helped design his own trophy. - Green Acres

Runner-up:

Do NOT try to do this without those calf guards on, otherwise it's really uncomfortable. - Madam S.

Source: Hello

Thanks Kang

Whitney Houston's doodie bubble makes his was back from the sewer to find her, and he's pissed! - Euphoria

Runners-up:

Now that Janice Dickinson has thrown up her whole stomach...I wonder if she will still say she doesn't have bulimia? - Hoozer

Mucinex In, Mucus Out - Green Acres

Source: Break