Afternoon Crumbs

While watching Jennifer Aniston's skit for Ellen with Matthew Perry and Courteney Cox, I kept thinking to myself that this needs a laugh track and rich people have really weird front door areas - Lainey Gossip

Things that make Katie Holmes wet, and no, it's not the thought of being free from Tommy Girl  - Drunken Stepfather

The Silver Fox would NEVER! - The Superficial 

This is the view Eva Mendes sees right before she tosses your boyfriend's salad - Towleroad

Every time Lourdes Leon comes back from one of her supervised dates, she should make Madge's veins pop by blasting "Like A Virgin" in her room - Celebitchy

Petra Nemcova's newly bleached weave looks a little parched - Hollywood Tuna

The wonderful effects of weed: 30-year-old dude dances next to his 20-year-old self to the Dixie Chicks' cover of "Landslide" and I'm assuming that a bong was involved - The Berry 

Anne Hathaway's hair is started to veer into Tabatha Coffey territory - Popoholic

EXTRAVAGANZA ALERT: Every ensemble that RuPaul has worn down the runway on RuPual's Drag Race - OMG Blog

Basement Baby sneaks out of the house wearing the clothes she made out of grandmas 1970 wallpaper - Just Jared

Ewan McGregor on the set of his new movie Skinny Jeans & Pomade: The Justin Theroux Story - Popsugar

Lara Lieto takes the Afghan Hound prince for a walk - I'm Not Obsessed

Sharon Stone's nalgas look like a peach dipped in blue paint - IDLYITW

I'm still trying to figure out how's there's a part 6 to The Fast and the Furious - Moe Jackson

"Why couldn't Jesse James have been working on his motorcycle with his peen?" asked Kat Von D - HuffPo 

I really thought this was Albita for a second - Reality Tea

The "Don't Be A Slut" dress code goes against EVERYTHING I believe in - Jezebel

Vintage Heidi Klum - SOW

In case you needed to be reminding about how damn rich  Ellen DeGeneres is - ICYDK

RiRi is supposedly paying tribute to Marilyn Monroe here, but that forty five cent wig is totally "Colonel Sanders after a home perm gone wrong" - ICYDK

Leonardo DiCatchAHo looks like a vato trying to get down at a backyard barbecue - Lainey Gossip

There's still a baby growing inside all of Jessica Simpson - Drunken Stepfather

And just like that, Jon Bon Jovi's name has been written in saliva and mashed peas on under "most wanted" on every Believer's wall - The Superficial

If Rainbow Brite grew up and became a hippy raver - Hollywood Tuna

Why do I have a feeling that Beyonce snatched Grown Woman from Basement Baby's notebook? - Towleroad

Please someone cancel Brandi Glanville and LeAnn Rimes twitter accounts. Their fights would be better so much better face-to-nostrils - Celebitchy

Celeb whores with the Anthony Davis - The Berry 

The nerd boys just blue themselves  - Popoholic

RiRi wants a mouthful of hillbilly chipmunk - Just Jared

Alec Baldwin gave his unborn baby the dizzies at Cannes - Popsugar

The censors get next year off, because Seth MacFartlane will not host the Oscars again - I'm Not Obsessed

"Don't bring me into this dark-sided mess!" - God - IDLYITW

Are we sure that chick is with Wilmer Valderrama? She looks over the age of 16 and that's usually his cutoff - Moe Jackson

And Katy Perry totally peed in that water - HuffPo

The husband of the new Real Housewife of NYC looks like he keeps the bones of children in his basement. He'll fit right in with the other husbands!  - Reality Tea

Jonathan Taylor Thomas is old enough to drink red wine now... - Videogum

This is pretty much going to be me when Shauna Sand dies - Jezebel

The only kind of pregnant lips I want to see on Kim Kartrashian are the ones on her face and I don't even want to see those - SOW

"That piece of trash ruined my will to love and now he's stolen my hairstyle!!!" screamed Jennifer Aniston after seeing Brad Pitt on the cover of June's Esquire - Lainey Gossip

How long before Amanda Bynes Photoshops her legs around Wheelchair Jimmy's fro? - The Berry 

Cerie from 30 Rock got married - OMG! Yahoo 

Oh, so that's what dominatrixes looked like during pilgrim times - Drunken Stepfather

If you put your butt up to the screen while playing this video, it'll be the closest you'll ever get to getting your salad tossed by Jack Black - Towleroad

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner joked about their marriage on SNL - Celebitchy

Well, Snookitina instantly lost 10 pounds when she scraped all thirty layers of red lip paint off of her mouth - The Superficial 

Olivia Munn in a bikini and sucking on a lollipop for Esquire, because nobody has every done that before - Hollywood Tuna 

This is what happens you mix booze and Kid Rock's natural doucheness - Buzzfeed

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are about to go public with their relationship and might I suggest that they go public with an HD sex tape? I need something to wash away the images of Backdoor Farrah - ICYDK

This dog needs to get it together! It's just a Disney movie and it's not even Bambi! - Jezebel

Jessica Biel looks like she was attacked by silly string - Popoholic

Sinbad is broke - HuffPo

BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH - Reality Tea

I can't play any musical instruments, but I'm still going to start a band just so I can name it ANAL BREATHS - Videogum

The dude from Shameless is only giving to show you his ass for now - OMG Blog

The Diva from Smash got another job! - Just Jared

Robert Pattinson moves his crap out of Kristen Stewart's house in trash bags. Sparkle vamps: they're just like us! - Popsugar

Ricky Martin's twins are the miniaturized versions of him - I'm Not Obsessed

"Why is that dominatrix ice sculpture blinking?" asked hundreds of party guests at Calvin Klein's Cannes party - Lainey Gossip

Oh how Ryan Seacrest wishes that the OTHER Hough was wearing this outfit instead - Hollywood Tuna

Pictures that have me wondering if I should maybe try to work out this weekend... But wait, fapping while eating a quesadilla at the same time is considered exercise, right? - The Berry  

Like the Kane and Kim are going to even last that long - The Superficial

Those wolf brows make Sofia Vergara look like my Tio Jorge - Drunken Stepfather

The shit Detective La Toya will do for a check - Jezebel

I bet a Madge vs. Goopy cat fight looks like wax-covered two praying mantises playing a super aggressive game of patty cake   - Celebitchy

George Michael got into another car crash and thankfully Snappy Snaps wasn't involved this time around - Towleroad

Edward Furlong must love hanging out with cops - ICYDK

You just can't take the Coachella out of Vanessa Hudgens - Popoholic

BUT IS PHOEBE PRICE OKAY?!!! - HuffPo

Keith Urban doesn't want to let go of the millions of dollars FOX pays him to do nothing - Reality Tea

Rooney Mara looks like the ghost of Ichabond Crane in daytime drag - Popsugar

If only we all had elegant moves like this - OMG Blog

Amanda Bynes is totally going to Photoshop her crotch on Wheelchair Jimmy's face - I'm Not Obsessed

Justin Bieber is still dressing like a rejected extra from House Party 2 - Just Jared

F/M/K time! I'd kill Charles Barkley, fuck The Rock and marry Shaq, because he's the richest - SOW

Either Miley Cyrus dropped half of her chipmunk face on a mountain of coke or her make-up artist hates her and wants people to know it - Hollywood Tuna

Casper Smart's gold digging mission is almost complete and he should be proud of himself for achieving such success before even graduating from potty training academy  - Lainey Gossip

Teen Mom Farrah's backdoor bikini is on eBay and I'm surprised nobody has asked if anal leakage stains are included - Drunken Stepfather

Kirstie Alley is the Rosa Parks of fat actresses, basically - Celebitchy

Try not to spit out your tampon from shock when we all find out that Premo Stallone is an actor Pimp Mama Kris hired to get Kourtney Kartrashian some tabloid attention - The Superficial

Uma Thurman will play Anita Bryant - Towleroad

EVERYBODY'S leaving Saturday Night Live and they might as well just get Justin Timberlake to replace them all and call it a day - Just Jared

Jason Hoppy wants to gag Bethenny Frankelstein, but not in a sexy way - Reality Tea

Emma Watson in W Magazine - Popoholic

Kelly Rowland claims she was jealous of Beyonce being more successful than her after Destiny's Child split up (The Illuminati made her say it)  - ICYDK

The third dude should totally be the next Bachelor - The Berry 

And here's Tom Hopper's ass, because you need something to wipe away the image of Teen Mom Farrah's anal leakage stains - OMG Blog

Selena Gomez seconds after she realized that she dated Justin Bieber once - IDLYITW

Violet from American Horror Story cleans up good - Popsugar

Why Pimp Mama Kris hasn't whored out Rob Kartrashian to Jenny Craig yet is beyond me - I'm Not Obsessed

Fame whore still fighting fame whore fame whore-ly on Twitter - HuffPo

As always, RiRi is the definition of sophistication and demureness - Jezebel

Christina Hendricks' mother, is that you? - SOW

John Currin's portrait of a naked Bea Arthur is expected to sell at for at least $1.8 million at Sotheby's today. I thank all of you in advance for selling all of your possessions, loved ones and internal organs to buy this for me. I will hang it over my Ikea dresser and pray to it every night. Thank you for being a friend. - HuffPo 

CHRIS EVANS' ARMS. That is all. - Lainey Gossip

Aubrey O'Day gives us her best "skank caught in the headlights" look  - Drunken Stepfather

LeAnn Rimes bought a husband, so it's no surprise that she's buying Twitter followers too - The Superficial 

Um, Christina Hendricks' husband should be kissing the feet of God for having a wife that looks like her, so I'm sure he'd be okay with her wearing sweats every now and again - Celebitchy

Hayden Pantyairs' braid kind of looks like the chicken and onion screwer I had for lunch on Sunday - Hollywood Tuna 

Carrie Underwood models a piece called "The Glimmer" from She-Ra's new lingerie collection - Popoholic

Alyssa Milano stopped by The Grove before heading to her hostess job at the Howard Johnson's Diner - ICYDK

Nobody wants to be on Pimp Mama Kris' show - Reality Tea 

For the rock bottom price of $2,000 (which is what Goopy spends a day on diamond water), you can meet Goopy Paltrow and allow her to judge you internally as she tries not to heave while shaking your peasant hand - Jezebel

And somewhere in this world, somebody is going to fap to this - OMG Blog

Justin Timberlake's Don Draper drag is not working - Just Jared

I see who ever made She By Sheree's commercial is now outsourcing their talents to Zoolander's biological son - Videogum

The stills from the new Predator movie are extremely terrifying - Moe Jackson

Things you do while stoned (or if you're Jessica Simpson, things you do all the time) - The Chive

Here's Beyonce's handwritten apology letter to her bumblebeys in Antwerp - IDLYITW

Jim Toth drinks the sweet nectar with AN AMERICAN CITIZEN on American soil - Popsugar

The gay version of Girls is happening at HBO - Towleroad

Rita Ora, is that you? - I'm Not Obsessed

The style evolution of Pretty Ricky - Crunk + Disorderly

James Franco's in GQ Magazine showing off his black belt fisting skills. Teen Mom Farrah doesn't know whether to close her legs or try to book James for the sequel to her porn - Lainey Gossip

Why is an inflatable green ball with a face trying to nibble on Heidi Klum's tit? - Drunken Stepfather

When Denise Richards turned down Charlie Sheen's stack of cash for taking care of twins he just shrugged and said, "More snatch and coke for me then!" - Celebitchy

Either Emma Watson's nipple is really long and skinny or she got a hamburger grease stain on her dress - The Superficial 

Just Jack is on TV again - Towleroad

Porn Iguana or Snookitina or a little of both?- Hollywood Tuna

The morphing of Blair Waldorf and JLo was at the FOX Upfronts - Popoholic

Jimmy Choo wants Nicole Kidman's feet - Just Jared

LuMann and Aviva might not be in the next season of Real Houseflies of New York City - Reality Tea

The look on Tori Spelling's kids faces says it all - ICYDK

Douche parade and yes, I'd hit them all - The Berry 

Vanessa Hudgens either has a herp sore or one of the paps blew a fart her way - IDLYITW

B. Coop wants a lot of balls on his head - Popsugar

Carrie Underwears isn't ready to rent her womb out to a baby yet - I'm Not Obsessed

Oh...Brooke Mueller.... - HuffPo

Ling Woo > Sandra Bullock - Jezebel

$950 for a shot glass that looks like an oversized thimble from Monopoly?  - Videogum

... And seconds after Prince Hot Ginge strolled out of a Port-A-Potty, dozens of hos ran in there pantless to scoot across the toilet seat and pick up as much as Hot Ginge DNA as possible  - Lainey Gossip

Well, Taylor Swift's music does make my ears feel like they're burning in hell  - The Superficial 

RiRi stays dressing like an early 90s hooker who gets all her ho shit uniforms from Miller's Outpost - Drunken Stepfather

So you know how you threw your naked and greased up body on Henry Cavill that one time? Yeah, it was a little too aggressive for him - Celebitchy

Is the dude in the second picture Johnny Depp or current day Al Pacino after a dye job? - The Berry 

Michael Douglas on what it was like dry boning Matt Damon - Towleroad

Either Maxim used all the Photoshop on Heather Graham or she's been moisturizing her face with the blood of babies - Hollywood Tuna 

Halle Berry's baby dome is growing as baby domes usually do - Popoholic

This tragic STUNT QUEEN move actually makes me miss Heidi and Spencer - ICYDK

So what do all the Real Housewives make a season? (Sadly, the answer isn't two bottles of Boone's Farms and a lap dance from Andy Cohen) - Reality Tea 

The My Little Pony raver girls are terrifying - Jezebel

"Hey, Pimp Mama Kris, how much for the one on the left?!" - Dennis Rodman - HuffPo

Dear NBC, Kylie Minogue as She-Ra will SAVE the network! - OMG Blog 

The Difficult Brown's neighbors don't like the portraits of his ass warts that he spray-painted in front of his house - IDLYITW

Dr. Who shaved his head and it's actually doing things to me - Just Jared

The Jolly Green Giant and Little Green Sprout go to the beach - Popsugar

Steve Sanders, I still would - Boy Culture

Paul Giamatti looking like Mama June without her hair on, I still would - Videogum

More delusions from the mistress of Neverland Manor - Crunk + Disorderly

Savannah Guthrie's getting married - I'm Not Obsessed

As Tommy Girl ran down the Great Wall of China with glee, he wondered which way to the nearest glory hole  - Lainey Gossip

Snoop Lion was practically the Mother Theresa of pimps (served in a bong made of sarcasm) - The Superficial 

I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it, I'd hit it - The Berry 

Julia Roberts hates her future brother-in-law - Celebitchy

Why does it look like Kylie Minogue is farting into Kylie Minogue's hand? - Drunken Stepfather

Elisabeth Moss > everybody else - Towleroad

The Playmate of the Year is smiling her forehead vein off, because she's happy that Hugh Hefner only makes blondes stand in the fuck line in his bedroom at the end of the night - Hollywood Tuna 

....as Jill Zarin cackles while feeding jelly beans to Kelly Bensimon - Reality Tea

Megan Fox continues to look nothing like April O'Neil - Popoholic

Annie from 90210 wore a wedding dress that she can also wear on the day her marriage dies - ICYDK

Gunnar Nelson's son can't live without your love and eduction - Jezebel

Teen Mom Farrah is too fame whore-ish for a sugar daddy site - IDLYITW

Outtakes from Miley Cyrus' Maxim spread! - OMG Blog 

Aaaaaand Anne Hathaway's hair is starting to look like crap now - Popsugar

Vomit Inducer of the Day: LaDouche in LaUGGs - Just Jared

Lady CaCa looks hot here! - Boy Culture

The ginger from Brave got a little work done - Videogum

Bravo needs to give Miss Gone with The Wind Fabulous a raise, because that weave looks like it was donated - Crunk + Disorderly

The paparazzi still show up when Ceiling Eyes calls - Hollywood Rag

Justin Beibeer - I'm Not Obsessed

Vogue kropped Kim Kouchdashian out of their Met Gala slideshow. Game point goes to Anna Wintour! - The Superficial

This might seem like seven shades of ridiculous, but we've all seen what happens when a Mogwai gets wet - Lainey Gossip

RiRi temporarily lost her ability to button a button...or she was just being RiRi -  Drunken Stepfather

Gays will turn your potential fun time into the ultimate day of hell at Disneyland, according to One Million Moms - Towleroad

The porn iguana's parched weave could use a date with Pantene Pro V - Hollywood Tuna

....says the monster who looks like his face was covered in dehydrated foreskins - Celebitchy

Beam me up, Kate Bosworth - Popoholic

Is Kiki Dunst playing her Drop Dead Gorgeous character in Anchorman 2? - Just Jared

Tom Hardy and Noomi Rapace might be a thing (no word on how that adorable pit bull puppy  is involved in all of this) - ICYDK

Neil Patrick Harris is hosting the Tonys again - The Berry

American Idol doesn't know what to do with itself anymore - IDLYITW

Kate Moss' ass cheeks for St. Tropez self-tanner - Popsugar

Heather Graham is happy she hasn't been forced to retire yet - I'm Not Obsessed

And when you buy Lauryn Hill's album, make sure your check is payable to the Collections Department of the United States Treasury - OMG Blog

Billie Joe Armstrong knows a lot about the herp - HuffPo

Melinda Brown Duncan for Mayor of Detroit! - Crunk + Disorderly

Bethenny Frankelstein wasn't a bad person until her marriage made her that way - Reality Tea

Zach Galifnakaiaksisisis is EVERYWHERE - Videogum

Bai Ling shows Courtney Stodden how to really wear a pair of denim coochie cutters - Moe Jackson