Afternoon Crumbs

Lana Del Rey's in Italian Vogue and her inflated lips have got me craving Hillshire Farms Polksa Kielbasa - Drunken Stepfather

I hope that Bradley Cooper is saying to John Travolta: "Grrrrrl, fix that wig!" - Lainey Gossip 

But I bet Derek Hough's gay bar hissy fit included a kick ball change and a few twirls - Celebitchy

Shouldn't Gwen Stefani's ass have foundation and lipstick all on it? Gavin Rossdale is so not going to like her butt if it's not painted up. - The Superficial 

Well, the ass on top of Pat Robertson's neck constantly births out trash balls of shit, so it is possible - Towleroad

I hope Posh wears the little Gucci dress for the Spice Girls' reunion at the Olympic Closing Ceremony - The Berry 

Cheetopatra, comin' atcha - Popsugar

I don't eat vegetables or have any plants, so I don't know what kind of weird alien broccoli tree Pink's carrying - Hollywood Tuna 

Why is Kerry Washington wearing one of Suri's old dresses? - Popoholic

For why is Snooki not in these pictures? - Cityrag

Moves like Chandler - Videogum

Conclusion: cats are ninjas - OMG Blog

And Kim Kuntrashian will name her baby Periwinkle Fern - ICYDK

Taylor Lautner is auditioning beards, I see - Just Jared 

Bubbles can sniff a gold digging bitch out - Hollywood Rag 

"My marriage is perfect! My husband loves vagina! I love penis! Wicked Wisdom!" - I'm Not Obsessed

Only a smart and resourceful gold digger like Victoria Silvstedt would use her money-loving shovel as a paddle - Hollywood Tuna 

Liberty Ross, who sorts of looking like Courteney Cox meets my first high school beard, is wearing a crucifix circa 90s to ward off Kristen Stewart's dark-sided tramp slut ass - Lainey Gossip

Needs more sloppy tongue action to really make the statement stick - Towleroad

Who ordered the leathery douche and skank stew? - The Superficial 

White Oprah has been looking for an excuse to slurp up drunk ass Kathie Lee Gifford since she's made of 80% wine and now WO's got one - Celebitchy 

Deepika Padukone goes all Catwoman for GQ India - Drunken Stepfather

Jennifer Lawrence is getting a major raise for the next Hongray Games movie - ICYDK

Tom Sturridge would get my stamp of approval for that messed up hair if he was wearing a banana clip - Popsugar

Harry Belafonte comes for Beyonce and Jay-Z - Crunk + Disorderly

BUUUUUUUUNNNNNIIIIIEEEEEEESSSS!! - The Berry 

Sofia Vergara is so brave for busting out the sexy poses so soon after a pack of raccoons attacked her hair - Popoholic

Today's lesson on peen shapes will earn you college credit - OMG Blog

David Duchovny's hair looks like it used to live on a goat's head - I'm Not Obsessed

Lock up your pussies, ALF is coming back - SOW

Miranda Kerr wearing Tommy Girl's favorite outfit to wear to boy's night at the Scientology disco - Just Jared

And the world is not ready for Nicole Shitsinger to spawn - Hollywood Rag 

Leave JLove alone, those are her favorite period pants - Celebslam

What would Justin Bieber say about Naomi Campbell's hair quitting her head? - Cityrag

True love always prevails: Holly Madison and Hef reunite! - Hollywood Tuna

I can't wait to see The Queen's "nottryingtogiveafuck" faces while watching Posh pose pose pose during the Spice Girls performance at the Closing Ceremony - Lainey Gossip

Just like all of us, Bryan Cranston lost his v-card to an $8 Dutch hooker - The Superficial 

Australian Olympic diver Matthew Mitcham and Bette Midler should join ukelele-playing forces and go on tour together - Towleroad

Kate Upton doesn't look like Kate Upton when you erase her brows - Drunken Stepfather

If beauty was the beast - The Berry 

RPattz is SLYCIC! - Celebitchy

A Beyonce documentary about Beyonce by Beyonce starring Beyonce for Beyonce's ego - Just Jared

Ick or Nast? - Cityrag

CORRECTION: Is Pimp Mama Kris pushing Kanye West to make a sex tape with her prized pig? ANSWER: Duh. - I'm Not Obsessed

And they totally color coordinated before leaving the yacht  - ICYDK

This is the look: Vanessa Hudgens looking like a primetime shift pussy puddler circa 1978 - Popoholic

Nothing like a titty slip during the XXX Olympics to push two boys passed puberty - SOW

England's finest rose blooms in the sun - Hollywood Rag

Thank you to everyone who helped invent the camera and made these pictures of Thom Evans' uncut peen possible - (NSFW) OMG Blog

What natural and not-at-all staged pictures of Tommy Girl and Suri - Popsugar

GOOPY Paltrow continues her obsession with poop by selling turki shit for the rock bottom, peasant price of $240. And turkis are just like turkeys, but they're fancier and exclusively from Europe or something. - Lainey Gossip 

That glazed look of sweaty shame on Mila Kunis' face tells me that she's definitely humping on Ashton Kutcher and she's not proud of it - The Superficial 

Roseanne needs to start a band and she needs to call it Aborted Chicken Fetus Anus - Towleroad

I totally thought this was a still of the Joker as a nurse from The Dark Knight - Hollywood Tuna 

Things that still happening: RiRi being a swimsuit, RiRi being on vacation, RiRi being a drunk and RiRi being annoying through pictures - Drunken Stepfather

Poke at me when somebody makes the real life version of Bianca Dupree's mansion from Beverly Hills Teens - The Berry 

John Travolta is ready to sword fight Tommy Girl to be Scientology's pin-up of choice - Celebitchy

The Dancing with the Has-Beens: All-Has-Beens cast was announced - Just Jared

And when The Lesbeaver landed, his au pair Selena Gomez made him suck off a bar of soap - ICYDK

Bane. A Baby in a Bjorn. Rapping. That is all. - Videogum

Hayden Christensen is really making that Star Wars money stretch - Moe Jackson 

Grey's Anatomy will be McSteamy-less next season - I'm Not Obsessed

Mischa Barton swimsuit pictures just aren't the same without her screaming at the paps for trying to get close-ups of her cellulite - Popsugar

Katy Perry's in a two piece - Popoholic

They say Lady CaCa is making her acting debut in Machete Kills, but hasn't the bitch been acting this whole time? - Hollywood Rag

Something tells me Bruno Mars and Windex are about to become best friends forever - Cityrag

You haven't seen sophistication incarnate until you've seen Katie Price's lace garter tattoo - SOW

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (aka what you get when STAINS shapeshifts into a human) is going to play Dracula in a new show, because we definitely need more vampires on TV - Lainey Gossip

Holly Madison thinks that being skilled at breastfeeding Hugh Hefner and changing his diaper at the same time makes her a qualified mom - The Superficial 

Say something nice: I do love the bedazzled HPV warts on JLO's lips - Towleroad

If Buffalo Bill made a suit out of Barbie skin, he'd sort of look like the always gorgeous Sophie Turner - Hollywood Tuna 

The reason why cases of Valtrex have been airdropped into St. Tropez - Drunken Stepfather

Then & Now: The Home Improvement cast - The Berry 

What I'm getting from this story is if you give Jeremy Renner some random pill, he'll pop it in his mouth! - Celebitchy

I thought this was Prince William and that got me excited, because then I thought if there's pictures of a topless Prince William then topless pictures of Prince Hot Ginge can't be far away... And then I was disappointed when this turned out to be James Blunt. Boo. - Just Jared

So what did Casper the Friendly Gold Digger buy JLo for her birthday with her own AMEX card? - ICYDK

They look hongray - Popoholic

I know I should be staring at Jakey Gyllenhaal's arm muscles, but I'm staring at that mega skinny fridge instead. It's so skinny! - Popsugar

Bar Refaeli's ass crack for your viewing pleasure - Hollywood Rag 

"Obama totally gave me a shout out!" - Alexis Bellino - Videogum

Paul Rudd and Amy Poehler got married - I'm Not Obsessed

Carmen Electra should kick herself for the shameless horny fuckery she pulled on The Choice - Cityrag

The trailer for the new season of The Real Housewives of Miami is here and we can finally exhale now that the natural beauty of La Bruja is back in our lives - Celebuzz

Blind item solved? Jon Hamm is just out there, trolling bars, liquoring up girls and looking to have an intimate conversation with a pair of chichis - Lainey Gossip 

If Jason Trainwreck was any kind of handler, he'd take a Cheeto and smear some cheesebrows on Brit Brit's face, because she looks like some hillbilly Alien Nation shit - The Superficial  

This picture would be 300 times more gorgeous if Miley Cyrus was not in it - Drunken Stepfather 

Vulture makes Katie Holmes sound more interesting than she really is - Celebitchy

Two words: ZANNA DON'T! - Towleroad

The 90210 girls hit the beach and I wish I was talking about Brenda, Kelly and anybody but Donna - Popoholic

Is temporary blindness one of AbCuts' side effects, because that would explain why JWoww's face looks like that - Hollywood Tuna 

Gisele Bundchen either has a case of the BABIES!! or she discovered the mashed potato Slushie machine - Popsugar

Please tell me this is a mistake and Deadline just has a really funny way of spelling Aretha Franklin's name - ICYDK

I quit this bitch: Sharon Osbourne might be saying that to America's Got Talent - I'm Not Obsessed

Mimi took Jlo's job and JLo obviously took Mimi's cake - The Berry 

If you ever want a celebwhore to read your tweet, just throw some f-word-filled shade at them - SOW

Even Taylor Kitsch's freshly waxed nalgitas couldn't save Savages - (NSFW) OMG Blog

Connor Cruise got the Kid 'n Play - Just Jared

The dream job for any meth head with OCD - Videogum

Pussy wrassling! - Cityrag

You can't keep a mess with a Franketummy down for long - Hollywood Rag

Katie Holmes did an interview with C Magazine just a day before she knocked the plug out of Tommy Girl's butt by filing for divorce and she managed to get through it without screaming, "I'M ALMOST FREEEEEEEEEEEE!" - Lainey Gossip

This is the look: Jennifer Aniston as a Volvo-driving, sandwich crust-cutting, KMart-shopping, 50 Shades of Grey-reading mom - Celebitchy

The Carly Rae Jepsen beej tape that doesn't really star Carly Rae Jepsen. I think. - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

David Beckham makes children cry, ladies swoon their nipples off, eyeballs pop out of sockets, etc.... - Towleroad

But the real story here is, how did Casper Smart's toddler frog looking ass get into an adult store without getting carded? - The Superficial 

I see someone was inspired by Courtney Stodden's opulent arm bracelet - Hollywood Tuna 

BREAKING: Lea Michele manages to pose in front of photographers without busting out a sexyface - Popoholic

Chris Evans must really want to get them zits popped proper - ICYDK

DO play this prank on your wife - Videogum

Boy George does Blahna Del Meh's Video Games - Just Jared

Panty Creamers of the Day: Men in mantyhose - The Berry 

"Ohshit, I have to fly commercial too?!" - Suri Cruise - Popsugar

I think I spot Latrice - OMG Blog

Correction to my previous statements: Stacey Dash CAN do wrong and she has with this mound of musical dingles - Crunk + Disorderly

How Jennifer Aniston spends her Sunday afternoons - Cityrag

Jon & Kate + 8 - Jon + Some Dude - I'm Not Obsessed

Hermione Granger might get tied up and slapped around - Hollywood Rag

This is what you see when you look at the word "elegance" in the dictionary with a kaleidoscope - IDLYITW

Guy Ritchie's girlfriend is knocked up again and if it's a boy I really hope Madge doesn't try to date his ass in 18 years - Lainey Gossip 

If Chestica Simpson is losing 1 pound a week, then I guess we'll all see her SEXY HOT SKINNY NEW BIKINI BODY by 2019 - The Superficial 

Chick-Fil-A TRIED it - Towleroad

The Tater Sisters aren't using their chins to knock a restraining order over to Demi Moore's side of the fence - Celebitchy

Somebody's spring formal dress from 1994: Miley Cyrus is wearing it - Hollywood Tuna 

Maybe Nicole ScherMINGEr is such a skinny bitch, because most of her body weight is trying to escape out of her crotch, which would explain what's going on with those pants - ICYDK

Destiny Hope, stop playing and take off that Trace Cyrus mask - Drunken Stepfather

Never forget Robot Call Girl - The Berry 

If you were planning to spend your afternoon Googling for "Ben Affleck's hairy nipples," you're in luck, because here's a few pictures of them - Popsugar

I hate to judge a person's waving skills, but Amanda Seyfried looks like she has a weird wave - Popoholic

You'll never guess who's a biki- Yeah, it's LeAnn Rimes. You're right. - Just Jared

I love a pussy who can flawlessly reenact the cliff scene from The Good Son - Cityrag

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard aren't scissoring anymore - I'm Not Obsessed

Joe Jonas is giving me puckery old queen realness in that picture - SOW

We're living in a world where Tina Fey and an untalented Sasquatch made the same amount of money last year - Hollywood Rag

Some dude from Guiding Light shows us his crescent moon - (NSFW) OMG Blog

The only thing I'm taking away from this picture is: COP IN SHORTS! - Moe Jackson 

And now for gift from The Glittery Gaysians of YouTube. Here's a bright shiny Asian jewel showing Beyonce up by recreating her video using only a MacBook Pro, his parent's house, a few of his friends, a budget of almost zero and a wardrobe (aka a Snuggie) that is a million times more stylish than anything House of Dereon has ever designed. Keep the Visine handy, because this will blow glitter in your eyes from all different angles. - Crunk + Disorderly

Disappointment is the reaction I felt after seeing that the second coming of Jesus isn't wearing a lace front - Lainey Gossip

How to make a gay-friendly Chick-Fil-A sandwich - Towleroad

Oh, here's Nicole Kidman and a stached Clive Owen boning as the world ends - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

I wonder what the Oxycontin pill that is Rush Limbaugh is going to say when he finds out that Catwoman gets her birth control from Gotham City's Planned Parenthood? - The Superficial 

Blake NotSoLively is one of those "I don't work out! I eat whatever I want! BLAH BLAH BLAH" hos - Celebitchy

Something to feed your "dudes in suspenders" fetish - The Berry 

Kim Kuntrashian is only screaming because she's afraid her plastic face is going to fly off - ICYDK

Katie Holmes' prayers for Tommy Girl to God were somehow redirected to Xenu's voicemail - Videogum

Miley Cyrus' dog looks really excited about going on a long ass flight with these two - Popsugar

Did the director have to ruin the shot of Milo Ventimiglia's ass by including Adam Sandler's face in it? - (NSFW) OMG Blog

"I carry myself in a more manly way" - The Lesbeaver - Just Jared 

But more importantly, it's not okay that Nicole ScherMINGEr looks like the Fly Girls' old wardrobe closet shat all over her - Celebslam

Wheelchair Jimmy's new palace fittingly looks like a mini Playboy mansion - Cityrag

Carlton better sing his rendition of Ebony & Ivory at his wedding - SOW

Janet Jackson should really be furious at the ho who did her makeup - I'm Not Obsessed

Why is Alessandra Ambrosio wearing Gay Al's favorite night shirt to the beach? - Popoholic

Elton John has a good explanation for why he never publicly came out about his undying love for peen - Hollywood Rag

Zoe Kravitz's left tit was obviously feeling shy and camera-ready at last night's Dark Knight Rises premiere - Popoholic

James McAvoy's middle hair part is very Nick Carter circa 1999 - Lainey Gossip

Since they say that kids usually end up the opposite of their parents, Marilyn Manson's unborn child will grow up to be a tax accountant who hates Hot Topic, only wears clothes from Sears and is allergic to vampire make-up - The Superficial 

Antonio Banderas should try winning Melanie Griffith back with a precious bouquet of Botox needles - Celebitchy

Rosie Huntington-Whateverly's nipple covers German GQ - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather 

The REAL Team Alexis (as in Carrington) is not amused by Jesus Jugs' ugly ass tank top - Hollywood Tuna 

Translation: "Pay me $1 million to play at your wedding and I'll find a way to close my ears to the stupid shit that pours out of your yap hole." - Towleroad

I still CAN'T with No Doubt's new song, but Gwen Stefani's face looks almost the way it did 15 years ago. There must be an aging portrait of Gwen hanging in an attic in Anaheim somewhere - ICYDK

Somebody pour Ensure into Miley Cyrus' Red Solo Cup - IDLYITW

Vanessa Lutz's mom from Freeway will be in Catching Fire - Just Jared

The Photoshop Awards: A copy + pasted Duchess Kate on Marie Claire South Africa - OMG Blog

Excuse me while I remove #13's outfit from my Ikea dresser to burn it - The Berry 

PETA still hates Kim Kuntrashian. ("Get in line, PETA" - ALL OF US) - Hollywood Rag

Tiny Cottle's birthday dress is a beautiful work of hand-tailored elegance - Crunk + Disorderly

Is "Muslim Things" the sequel to Wild Things set in the Middle East? I wish. - Videogum

Those PUPPIES are so happy they ain't cheeseburgers. Happy Hoff Day! - Cityrag

Russell Brand's got a new piece and this one's a Brewster (not Punky) - I'm Not Obsessed

Elle Macpherson is still in a two piece. FYI. - Popsugar

Daren Kagasoff, whoever that is, should've been Catwoman, obviously - SOW