Crazy
Friday, October 12th 2007
Orlando Bloom Crashes
TMZ reports that Orlando Bloom was involved in a car accident last night and may or may not have minor injuries. He was seen leaving the Green Door in Hollywood last night before the crash which went down at around 2:15am. A Matrix and a Porsche Cayenne were involved the crash and both cars are doing fine. Don't worry.
TMZ also has video of Orlando taken before the crash getting into some stranger's car and arguing with him about the dude's wife. Douche fights! It happens every night in Hollywood.
In another Orlando wreck news. OK! Magazine reports that he may be dating Jessica Simpson. They arrived together at a Fall Out Boy concert on Wednesday. A source said, “Jessica and Orlando are trying to keep their relationship on the down low. It’s all new to them and they’re still just feeling their ways but they are definitely an item.”
Hopefully this accident knocked some sense into him and he's dumped Jessica! On second thought, both are annoying and seriously losing the hot , so they totally deserve each other!
Thursday, October 4th 2007
Charlie's Love Letters To Denise
Charlie Sheen recently sent some lovely and touching e-mails to his ex, Denise Richards. Denise included these beautiful sentiments in documents she filed last week in the couple's custody battle.
These words are just so beautiful. Charlie is truly an eloquent man. If he wasn't an actor, he should've been a poet. The next Shakespeare if you will.
"You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go fuck yourself sad jobless pig."
Thoughtful!
"You are an evil piece of shit. I can't wait to tell the world what a piece of shit you are. You don't get a fucking dime till this is resolved."
Lovely! And that's just some of it! I really hope Charlie puts all these e-mails together one day for a book about love. It will be a Valentine's Day best seller!
Oh and Denise also claims Charlie used to visit gay porn sites featuring underaged boys. Oh Denise it was just research! Research for a very special episode of "Two and a Half Men" featuring Chris Hansen from Dateline.
Source: Page Six
Wednesday, September 19th 2007
Crazy Lady
Queen Jacko is currently in NYC to be shot for Italian Vogue. Covergirl! It's already been reported that it takes 3 hours to fix his wig before he's decent enough to go out. It takes a long time to look that good.
Jacko isn't the only one in his family wearing wigs. Homegirl took her 3 kids to see "The Lion King" on Broadway Sunday night and witnesses were a little perplexed at how the children were dressed. Witnesses told Page Six the kids were wearing costumes more elaborate than the ones onstage. They were also wearing wigs and baseball caps.
After the show, Jacko introduced his 3 as Paris, Prince and Blanket. That's a really hot name for an 80s Electro group. Blanket's my favorite.
After taking pictures with the cast, Jacko all of a sudden ran out with his 4 bodyguards. "His face was totally white, he had his wig on, sunglasses and these absolutely wacky pants. It was surreal. There were four bodyguards."
Who is keeping tabs on these poor children. They are going to be ten shades of fucked up when they get older. I'd be surprised if Jacko even lets them talk English! They probably talk like some Nell shit. Chicka Chicka Chickabee! T'eeeea in the win!
Where's CPS when you need em?
Wednesday, September 12th 2007
Chris Crocker Is Famous
Chris Crocker's "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" video has already been seen over 2 million times and it hasn't even been up for 48-hours. Chris has already spoken to Howard Stern, ABC News and he's scheduled for CNN, The View as well as other radio stations. People are skeptical in believing that Chris' tears are real.
Chris wrote me an e-mail himself saying that he wasn't faking it and to watch the video in the larger format to see his tears. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'll take his word for it. Once was enough. My eardrums are still recovering.
Chris told ABC News that although a lot of his videos are pure entertainment this one was real. He said, "I made the video in the heat of the moment. She needs to hear someone sticking up for her. Even people who stick up for her don't do it to the extent that I want to, I've been a fan since I don't remember, and I wanted to fulfill my duty!"
Chris also told ABC that the clip posted was his second take.
He told Howard Stern that he's a top and that he thinks Britney is a better singer that Courtney Love. He went on to say, "Who can think of 9/11 at a time like this? Britney, she is a national treasure." Oh shit. Don't come to NYC Chris. You'd never recover from the beating you'd receive for that statement!
First of all, it's not possible to be a better singer than Courtney Love. Second of all, I'd hit it. Third of all, wait is he a top? Shit, so am I. HAHAHA, that was the funniest joke of all.
Chris is going to get his own show on Vh1, trust. Vh1 execs are probably drawing up an offer as we speak!
Tuesday, September 11th 2007
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!
You bitches love a good Britaloonie! I woke up this morning to see my inbox used and abused with this video from YouTube star Chris Crocker. Chris is a 19-year-old Britaholic that uses YouTube and MySpace to demonstrate his love for Britney Spears. In this clip above Chris asks the world to LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! Chris is seriously losing it! He swears those are real tears and he's not acting. I'm a skeptical bitch, so I'm just not sure. This just brings back memories of Loneygirl15.
If homegirl is crying then that's some serious waterproof mascara and eyeliner he's rocking. If Chris is being truthful, it's not that serious! Britney will get over it. She will crawl back on the cheeto train and keep on truckin' or is it keep on munchin'?
It's also nice to put a face to all of the crazy Britaloonie e-mails I've been getting and yeah this is exactly how I pictured them!
And just for you Chris I will not be mean to Britney for one whole day, being today. That's seriously asking a lot. That's like asking for my left nut. Well...not exactly, because I give that to anybody.....
P.S. - You might want to turn the volume down when you play this video, because bitch can wail!
Monday, September 10th 2007
Forever Bjork
I need a break from all this VMA nonsense, so here's a little Bjork. Bitch should've performed last night. She might have brought on a little excitement.
I'm not sure what she's trying to accomplish here, but it looks like Slimer gave her a shot to the face.
Here's Bjork being Bjork at the Toronto Film Festival this past weekend.
Friday, September 7th 2007
Ka-Razy!!
Lauryn Hill needs professional help. At least that's what her Fugees group member, Wyclef Jean, told MTV.
When he was asked about a possible reunion he said, "The first thing that needs to happen…is after my psychiatric evaluation. 'Lauryn Hill… Mrs Hill… The Hill… - Should go see a psychiatrist – period – Just seek help!"
Wyclef isn't the only Fugees member that thinks homegirl needs a dose of reality. Last month Pras said, 'Before I work with Lauryn Hill again, you will have a better chance of seeing Osama Bin Laden and George W. Bush in Starbucks having a latte.'
'At this point I really think it will take an act of God to change her, because she is that far out there.'
I guess the outside matches the inside. Here I thought she was just playing crazy for her "art." There's nothing wrong with insanity. It's ok Miss Hill, those boys can't handle the cuckoo.
Is it just me or does she look like a younger Oprah in that Clockwork Crazy pic above?
Thursday, August 23rd 2007
It's Not That Serious!
Terrence Howard is starting to scare me! A couple of weeks ago Terrence Howard told Elle Magazine that he will only date chicks who use baby wipes on their no-no area and if they did't, he would allow them to correct it.
This is what he said, " If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."
Well, Jezebel popped by a press call for his new movie with Richard Gere"The Hunting Party", because they wanted to know more.
Jezebel: Terrence, I was wondering if you could comment further on your remarks in Elle regarding baby wipes and your feelings about them.
Terrence: I stated my position pretty clearly. More people need to use them. This is a very serious subject. What more is there to say?
Jezebel: How many women have you tried to convert?
Terrence: Ok, and that's it. No more questions. Time to end.
Baby wipes are a serious subject! T is probably taking way too many antidepressants.
Thursday, August 2nd 2007
Osama Is Coming For You, Bobby!
Bobby Brown better watch his ass! Osama Bin Laden is finally going to come out of hiding and come for Bobby!
Bobby is still majorly paranoid that Osama wants him. A while ago there was a rumor that Osama was in love with Whitney Houston and wanted to kill Bobby and make Whitney one of his wives. I'm sure Osama has changed his mind after watching Whit and Bobby's reality show! Kiss my ass!
Well, Bobby is touring in Australia and he has beefed up his security.
Bobby said, "I figure if Bin Laden wants me, and everybody is looking for him, it probably won't happen. But if he wants to try and find me for something so stupid, he can do what he wants. I have to leave it in the hands of my higher power.
"Come on, if anybody [else was] threatened by Al Qaeda, they'd take it seriously."
The show went on and witnesses say audience members burst into laughter when Bobby took off his shirt revealing a sweaty gut and a wet crotch. Sexy!
Monday, July 30th 2007
STORY!!!!!!!
That crazy bitch Jenna Elfman has popped out a son and named him Story Elias. He was born July 23rd. Jenna's publicist said that Story already likes "classical music, a clean diaper, mom's boobs and long naps."
Mom's boobs?! I know that's meant to be cute, but it's hella skeezy.
This is the first alien child of Xenu for Jenna and her hubby, Bodhi.
Story is probably already promised to Suri Cruise when they are 17. Behold! The first royal couple of Xenu!
STORY?! Is it wrong that I like this name?
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