Deadmau5

Tuesday, April 16th 2013

Kat And Mau5 Are Going To Have An Underwater-Themed Wedding

I guess Kat Von D and Deadmau5 are ignoring the health department's request and not getting married in a quarantine tent while officials in Hazmat suits spray them down with liquid antibiotics. Instead of doing that, Kat and Mau5 are planning on throwing an underwater-themed wedding. This is actually a good idea, because now their guests won't look too weird when they throw bacteria-killing chlorine bleach at them before hugging them.

Kat Von D tells People that on August 10th, she will become Deadmau5's future ex-wife during an underwater-themed wedding in front of 200 friends and family in Los Angeles. Kat says that she and Deadmau5 are really into the short story The Call of Cthulhu, about an octopus human, so their wedding will feature all the creatures of the sea. They're going to have blue and green-colored food and performers dressed as mermaids. Kat also said that her dress is going to look like something the ocean threw up:

"It will have a sleek silhouette and include hints of iridescent teals, blues and deep violet ombré gradients. I didn't know the dress was supposed to be a surprise."

Kat and Mau5 both look like something rotten that a fisherman threw back into the ocean after it got caught in his net, so this underwater theme is perfect for them. I can already hear their guests let out an "awwww" when Kat's crotch crabs come shuffling out in their bridesmaids dresses. I really hope that the front of their invitation has Deadmau5's octopus sex tattoo on it, because that will set the tone for a day of true romance.

And here's Kat wearing a zippered camel toe jumpsuit and alien heels to a book signing in NYC last night.

Posted by: Michael K


Sunday, December 16th 2012

The Douchiest Proposal Ever

Kat Von D and Deadmau5 started rubbing their tattooed genitals together last September and they stopped for a minute in November after she subtly accused him of passing his mau5 dick to another whore, but true love always prevails! Mau5 just couldn't get enough of licking Jesse James' dried jizz off of Kat Von D's stomach, because they got back together and now they're engaged to be married. Like two 15-year-olds who met on MySpace and live thousands of miles apart, Deadmau5 asked Kat Von D to be his future ex-wife on Twitter and tweeted a picture of the ring he's going to get her:

After Kat Von D printed that picture out and wrapped it around her finger, she typed these words:

And then DeadMau5 kept this public display of pure class going....

I really can't wait for them to get married on Skype, spend their honeymoon by posting stock pictures of tropical places on Instagram and give birth to a Tumblr before getting divorced on Facebook. A true modern day romance. Yes, Kat Von D just got engaged (for like the ten millionth time) to a DJ who regularly wears a mouse head and proposed to her ass on Twitter, but he's still a major upgrade from Jesse James. So there's that.

via UsWeekly 

Posted by: Michael K


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