Frances Bean

via Jezebel

Since Frances Bean's iPhone has a Crazy Ass Bitch Blocker App and redirects all calls from Courtney Love to the nearest lunatic asylum, Courtney has to use Twitter to throw a sowwy at her own "biological" (copyright: Frances Bean Cobain) daughter. Courtney started this mess last week when she brain queefed up the gross rumor that Dave Grohl took his obsession with Kurt Cobain to SUCIO levels by screwing on Frances Bean. Frances Bean calmly responded by saying that somebody really needs to strap straitjacket gloves on Courtney's hands and keep her away from Twitter. Well, Frances' calm smack down must have temporarily knocked the crazy out of Courtney, because she went on her other Twitter account yesterday to apologize:

Bean, sorry I believed the gossip.. Mommy loves you

— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) April 14, 2012

Mark yesterday as the first day in modern history that the bat litter box called Courtney's head actually had a moment of clarity. I'd like to think that this will teach Courtney to never believe one of the voices in her head after she snorts a crushed homemade Adderall pill she made using a Lohan family recipe, but it won't. Stay tuned for more fuckery from this crazy bitch.

via People

One time I was on the G train (short for the Godthistrainisnevercominganditwouldvebeenfastertogetarideonaparaplegicdonkey train) in Brooklyn and some crazy subway prophet kept ranting at the mouth about how all of our sinful souls will one day rot under Lucifer's foreskin. You know, the typical feel-good morning sermon you usually hear from crazies on the subway. In between him calling us heathen pieces of peen cheese, he incoherently sang some song and doing this made him sound like he was speaking pig latin in tongues. So basically, he sounded like Nicki Minaj. This mess went on for way too long. Sometimes, a subway rider can't control their nerves anymore and will shout at the crazy to shut their verbal diarrhea hole. That's never a good move, because fighting crazy with crazy makes the crazy crazier. That didn't happen, but something bizarre did happen. A woman wearing a sensible business suit got up, walked over to the subway prophet, put her hand on his shoulder and told him he can stop now, because we've all heard his message. It didn't work and he kept spewing the shit, but I slow clapped her on the inside for handling that shit in a classy way. Well, Frances Bean is that woman in a sensible business suit, because last night she calmly told Courtney Love to shut the fuck up.

Courtney Love went too far, even for Courtney Love, in one of her late-night Twitter rantings when she accused Dave Grohl of trying to sex on Kurt Cobain through Frances Bean's coochie. Dave Grohl already denied that mess, and last night Frances Bean released a statement where she said that Twitter needs to close and lock their doors to crazy ass Courtney:

"While I'm generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn. I have never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way. I'm in a monogamous relationship and very happy.

Twitter should ban my mother."

"Biological mother." HA. If Courtney Love had any feeling left in her sedated face, she would've felt that swift and quick slap. But like the sensible business woman on the train, Frances Bean's reasonable statement is going to shut Courtney up. When the Twitter train pulls into the next stop, Courtney will get on and start rambling about how Dave Grohl's dick is a pendulum that is hypnotizing Frances Bean into hating her. #staybatshitcrazycourt

via People