Throwing hate at Justin Bieber is usually a sign of a sane mental state and a sober mind, but that's not the case for Billie Joe Armstrong. Emily the Strange's uncle who used to secretly give her sips from his bottle of Zima at family reunions is sitting his ass in rehab today after he nearly raged his black eyeliner off during the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas on Friday night. PAGING NURSE JACKIE! Green Day's rep gave the news to The Associated Press:
In a statement to The Associated Press, Green Day apologized "to those they offended at the iHeartRadio Festival" and said its set was not cut short by Clear Channel, the host of the two-day festival.
The Grammy winning band also is canceling some of its promotional appearances. It is due to release the album "Uno" on Tuesday, the follow-up to "21st Century Breakdown," released three years ago. "Uno" is the first in a trilogy of albums; the second is to be out in November, and the last in January. The band is due to kick off a nationwide tour Nov. 26 in Seattle.
Translation: Clear Channel dragged Billie Joe to a chair, pulled down his Cheap Monday jeggings and spanked him until he agreed to say it wasn't their fault.
Green Day's rep didn't say specifically why Billie Joe's in rehab, but for the sake of Maybelline's stock, I hope it's not to deal with his unhealthy addiction to eye paint. And at the bottom of a dumpster somewhere in Las Vegas, the strings on Billie Joe's broken electric guitar made a smile.
Never mess with a rock star who still looks like a Joan Jett rag doll made of t-shirts from Hot Topic, because he will burn the place down with the fuck bombs launching out of his mouth.
During Green Day's set at the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas last night, the timer in front of the band let them know that they only had 1 minute left, because Usher went 25 minutes over. Billie Joe Armstrong was not having any of it. Bille Joe stopped everything to give the performance of Green Day's career. Billie Joe busted into a hilarious freak out where he yelled at the organizers for disrespecting a dude who has been in the game for over 20 years. I kept waiting for someone to hand BJ a dirty martini and for him to lean against a grand piano and slur out shit like, "Your know what your problem is! You have some nerve! It's the pictures that got small! Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my -godfuckingdamnit, that guitar is looking at me funny. I'll show you, guitar!"
Billie Joe got so mad that I'm sure the hairs on his b-hole stood up like some of the hairs on his head. Bitch went off and I love every millisecond of this dramatic cunt meltdown from the first "fuck" that comes out of his mouth to the last one. I even loved that it almost took him 10 minutes to destroy his guitar. PUNK! ROCK! If that guitar had eyes, it would be rolling them. It was taking so long for BJ to put a dent in that guitar, so it finally took pity on him and broke itself.
And Billie Joe's eyeliner stayed immaculate during this entire bitch fest. A true DIVA!
Here's some hos who got to witness Billie Joe's "We're fucking done professionally!" rant live last night. In order: Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, the second hardest bitches there, the hardest bitch there, Usher, No Doubt, Kathy Griffin, Ryan Lochte (looking like a 2nd grader circa 1983 wearing a homemade Thriller costume) and Colton Haynes.