Pamela Anderson still holds the title for the most glamorous drugstore appearance of the decade, but Fergie, Caroline Manzo, Kurt Russell, Lamar Odom, Mark McGrath and Tim Gunn tried to top her last night. They all showed up to the red carpet grand opening the new "upscale" Walgreens on Sunset and Vine in Hollywood. Shit is "upscale," because when you're buying tampons and condoms, you can also pick up sushi, fancy cheeses and frozen yogurt with toppings. Call me a GOOP-like snob, but I don't think I could full my mouth with raw fish from the same place that sells butt suppositories. ("Bitch, don't act like you haven't put worse things in your mouth like a sushi-flavored suppository or suppository-flavored sushi." - you "You bring up a valid point." - me)
It was only a little over 10 years ago when Fergie used to get chased out of Walgreens by a security guard for trying to steal shit for meth money and now she's at the grand opening of one. She's come a long way. Fergie's face has also come a long way too. It used to be straight out of Faces of Meth and now it's straight out of Faces of Botox.
And speaking of Faces of Meth, click here to see some that will scare you to Jesus.
Scientists studying the ongoing mating rituals of the North American sasquatch will have to get research footage from other sources, because Lamar Odom has killed E!'s Khloe & Lamar by pulling out of that mess to focus on saving his basketball career. The Dallas Mavericks pretty much put Lamar on the curb after his worst season ever and so he's trying to up his chances of getting traded to another team by dropping the reality shit show baggage he brought to the Mavericks.
TMZ says that Khloe & Lamar's second season will be its last. Their source says that Lamar is working with new trainers full-time in L.A. and doesn't want to be bothered by having to fulfill his contractual obligations with E! by letting Khloe dry mount him on camera several times a day. But Lamar isn't completely free from the clutches of Ryan Seacrest's evil-making troll claws. Lamar will still be on Keeping Up with the Kuntrashians every now and again.
It's always a good day when the Kuntrashian fame whore machine weakens, but Lamar is still in danger, girl. Lamar's game isn't down because of the cameras. Lamar's game is down because when he goes to sleep at night, Pimp Mama Kris slithers out of the closet and feeds her black demon heart by sucking the life blood out of him through the artery in his taint. (Yes, we have taint arteries. I just tapped at mine.) PMK did it to Bruce Jenner and she's doing it to Lamar too. Run, Lammy, ruuuuun.
But seriously, Khloe looks like the Edward Munster of the family, but she's actually the Marilyn. Who knew that a Kardashian would actually choose the happiness of her husband over the cameras? If that doesn't say (in Maury's voice) "Robert Kardashian, you are not the father," then I don't know what does.
And here's Khloe, Kim and Lamar handing the same ball while shooting scenes for Khloe & Lamar in his hometown of Jamaica, Queens on Friday.