Lara Flynn Boyle
....Lara Flynn Boyle turned the director of Wayne's World Penelope Spheeris into stone.
Fun Fact: Penelope Spheeris actually had brown hair when she showed up to the reunion, but it turned white when she saw what happened to Lara Flynn Boyle's face. When I look deep into Penelope's terrorized eyes, I can almost hear her saying to herself, "Don't make eye contact...don't make eye contact..."
So, some of the cast of Wayne's World 1 and 2 reunited at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in Beverly Hills last night, because every now and again we need to be reminded that one day it's 1994 and the next day you have white hairs on your taint and you're old. Kevin Pollack, Lara Flynn Boyle, Colleen Camp (known to me as Yvette the Maid from Clue), Rob Lowe, Penelope Spheeris, Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Lorne Michaels and Tia Carrere all came out. Rob Lowe almost looks the same and Mike and Dana look like late-in-life lesbian tennis players who were once rivals but are now lovers.
And then there's Lara Flynn Boyle. Every time I see pictures of Lara Flynn Boyle, it looks like she's injected something else into her face. You can't just go into the plumbing aisle at Home Depot, pick up something in a tube and inject into your face. That's not okay. She looks like a novocaine'd up blob fish. If Lara keeps screwing with her face, she's eventually going to look like La Bruja from Real Housewives of Miami. Actually, that's a compliment since La Bruja is the most gorgeous woman on basic cable.
Lara Flynn Boyle has been pulling, tucking and filling her face for years now, and when pictures of her leaving a liquor store in L.A. came out yesterday, some hos figured that she put herself under the plastic surgeon's scalpel again. But some plastic surgeon, who hasn't worked on, Lara's face tells Radar that in his professional opinion, either Lara went in for some face renovations or the fillers are melting. That's it! Dr. Anthony Youn explained it like this when Radar asked him why Lara's face looks like a jabbawockeez mask baking under a fast food heat lamp:
"Lara Flynn Boyle's face looks like it's melting. Now her face looks like it's deflated, with resultant loose skin. I suspect that she's either undergone corrective surgery to reverse some of the work that was previously performed, or has just plain allowed the plumping fillers to dissipate, leaving her with sagging cheeks."
Who ever said that Botox is like crack for your face never told any lies, because you have to keep injecting that crap into your face or it will do the sad skull slide and you'll end up looking like a really sad plastic blobfish. Woe is Lara. Lara could be smiling in these pictures because she just got a good deal on a vintage bottle of Strawberry Hill, but you wouldn't know since she permanently looks like a constipated duck who just got the worst news ever. The sad duck look IS not the look. Although, think of all the traffic tickets and shit Lara gets out of. Only a heartless police officer would give a ticket to a sad duck.