Night Crumbs

They tell me these are supposed to be pictures of Duchess Kate's royal jewel box, but shit is so blurry that it could be Superman doing standing crunches for all I know - (NSFWish) Drunken Stepfather

How did New York Fashion Week go on without Blake NotSoLively sitting in the front row?! This question might never find its answer. - Lainey Gossip

Olivia Wilde's make-up is so white, because she wanted to match her face to her dress - Popoholic

When I move back to L.A., am I only allowed to wear ugly boots and denim coochie cutters like Sophia Bush and every other trick there, because that's basically what I wear now - Hollywood Tuna 

I've seen the double portal to crazy and it's in Victoria Jackson's eyes - Towleroad

Nobody likes a cunty baby, which is why Gerber doesn't really make vegan baby food - Celebitchy

Joanna Krupa isn't getting any - The Superficial 

Celebs and their not-so-famous siblings or in many cases, not-so-famous-hos and their really-not-so-famous siblings - The Berry 

A skinnier Soleil Moon Frye or Jennifer Garner? - ICYDK

Spoken like a modern day Aristotle - Cityrag

I didn't know Malin Akerman was married to the dude from Crazy Town - Just Jared

I didn't know Ryan Lochte and Zuma Nesta Rossdale were homeboys - Popsugar

A Downtown Abbey prequel might happen - OMG Blog 

"Bitch, that ain't shit" said millions of Jews who just finished their Yom Kippur fast - Hollywood Rag

RiRi looks more like she's ready for bed - I'm Not Obsessed

And I'm sure 50 Cent jacked his stack of pennies while he wrote every single one of these tweets - Crunk + Disorderly

Rooney Mara got to make sweet mouth love with the inside of Ryan Gosling's arm and call it work - Lainey Gossip

In exactly 9 months, we'll see pictures of Olivia Munn with an engorged mound on her arm. It won't be a tumor, it'll be ASkars' baby - The Superficial 

Google Street View: Water Edition should hit the East River next so the mafia will have to find a new place to dump bodies - Towleroad

iCamelToeShield coming soon from Apple - Hollywood Tuna 

Kylie Minogue's ass crack makes an elegant appearance - Drunken Stepfather

Woe is Tommy Girl - Celebitchy

I'm pretty sure Ted Danson's boner knocked out that bottom button - Popoholic

JWoww's engagement ring looks like some shit from Claire's - ICYDK

27 reasons why most hos shouldn't take on the catsuit - The Berry 

The moment Mila Kunis realized she has godknowsfuckingwhat of the lungs after swimming in the East River - Popsugar

This fly is Fly - SOW

Kids in Breaking Bad costumes. That is all. - Videogum

Tina Fey as Holly Golightly - Just Jared

Spaz de la Huerta did it first, did it better and I don't think the ghost caught Gonorrhea from her - Hollywood Rag 

I really need to buy a house where pussy falls out of the faucets - Cityrag

If you play this on mute, it kind of looks like he's having violent sex with a ghost - OMG Blog

"Diamonds" sounds more like CZes - I'm Not Obsessed

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher add another layer of slimy UGH on their relationship by wearing almost matching outfits. I bet they sit on the same side of the booth at restaurants too. - Popoholic

Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana are still a thing and I would care about it, but I'm too busy wondering what kind of flavor of popcorn is in that plastic cup - Lainey Gossip

AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON PEEN PRINT ALERT! AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON PEEN PRINT ALERT! - Just Jared

Three words that should never be put together: Taylor Swift Cameltoe - The Superficial 

Sharon Stone is glamour personified and her young piece is giving me the puckers - Hollywood Tuna 

An artifact from the 80s co-signs what an artifact from 2005 said about gays - Towleroad

A side-eye from a dog friend really completes this picture of Sarah Harding's butt cheeks - Drunken Stepfather

And let's follow that up with a Zahara side-eye - Popsugar

Random panty creamers galore - The Berry 

Amanda Bynes has finally done what all hos who can't drive should do: moved to NYC - Celebitchy

RiRi must be high on the wrong stuff if she's trying to smoke rock candy (or maybe those are the shiniest crack rocks I've ever seen) - ICYDK

Breakbad Mountain - OMG Blog

If you're wondering what Megan Fox's pregnancy farts smell like, just look at Brian Austin Green's face for the answer - I'm Not Obsessed

20 animals who are way better at acting than Kristen Stewart - Cityrag

Lady GaGa doesn't care if she's Lady Gorda - Hollywood Rag 

Foofy Foofy owes the real Gwen Stefani a for real apology - SOW

(Pic via FameFlynet)

Jake Gyllenhaal is going hairy balls out with that butch grizzly look and I can kind of want to watch him chop a tree down or wrestle a beaver (not a euphemism, this is Jakey we're talking about) - Lainey Gossip 

A side of troll boob provided by Hayden Panettiere - Hollywood Tuna 

Homer Simpson should've voted for Roseanne - Towleroad

Morena Baccarin knows how to dress like a refined lady - Drunken Stepfather

Speaking of dressing like a refined lady, Brit Brit is the personification of sophistication as always - The Superficial 

If I smoked Fiona Apple's hash stash, some of these celebrities might look like twins to me - The Berry 

#1 on iTunes: "Cut My Heart Open With A Restraining Order" by Taylor Swift - Celebitchy

Swizz Beak's polo shirt has got me thirsty for a Tequila Sunrise - Just Jared

Everyone is dumping Amanda Bynes - ICYDK

Kate Upton's puppies with puppies! - Popoholic

Either that's her shorty short's pocket or Jessica Simpson's huge maxi-pad is trying to escape - Popsugar

Are we sure this isn't another Adam Sandler character? - SOW

As the queens in the corner giggled... - OMG Blog

I can barely remember what happened to me 3 seconds ago, but Demi Lovato remembers feeling fat in her diaper at 3 years old - Hollywood Rag

They all act like they've never seen a hooker up close before - Cityrag

Brace your gag reflex for the return of Fist Brown and RiRi - I'm Not Obsessed

Either a plastic surgeon pulled, stuffed rotated Courtney Stodden's mug or somehow not wearing Playboy pink frosted lipstick took her entire face from "plastic iguana toy slowly melting under a heat lamp" to actual human who breathes in oxygen - The Superficial 

Taylor Swift and Avil Lavigne must be co-designing sweaters for GOOP now - Lainey Gossip

The Globe really missed an opportunity to give their totally hilarious "Obama is gay" story the headline: OBOTTOMA! - Towleroad

Eva Longoria's tramp stamp makes it look like she just farted up the holy cross - Hollywood Tuna 

Khloe Kardashian makes it so easy - Drunken Stepfather

It's like looking at Amanda Bynes' thought process - The Berry 

Jessica Simpson and Baby Maxwell are practically twinsies in the face - Celebitchy

"MAGGIE THE CAT IS ALIVE... even though she acts like she's a mumbling corpse" - Just Jared

Kelsey Grammer was just chapped in the ass because Camille Grammer was wearing HIS dress in the picture - ICYDK

MiserAlba knows how to dress for pilates class - Popoholic

Blake Lively should be on blunt watch instead, because she's obviously just taking a few extra tokes in her trailer - IDLYITW

Les Miserables does it live - Popsugar

The Dr. Who defense is the best defense - OMG Blog

"No laughs from the Obama peanut gallery!" is what Clint Eastwood said to those empty chairs a second after this picture was taken - SOW

Obviously, you're paying extra for every sparkly RPattz tear on Reese Witherspoon's bathroom floor - Cityrag

Insert your very own "Carmen Electra slurping to get to the cream in the middle" joke here - Hollywood Rag 

Kate Moss is just pregnant with a bloat baby made of coke and whiskey - I'm Not Obsessed

Oliver Stone must have arthritis and he's obviously trying to rebuke his ailments by touching Salma Hayek's healing chichis of holiness - Hollywood Tuna 

I think what Kunty Karl is trying to say is that Pippa Middleton's make-up artist should paint eyes on her ass and she should only show that to the world - Lainey Gossip

Chick-Fil-A is like, "You're still going to hell, but we want all your money before you go." - The Superficial 

Jesse Tyler Ferguson and his dude are getting married and all I can think about is how when they touch brows, it probably looks like flames over a bed of coals - Towleroad

Victoria's secret is that she's been recycling the same old Miranda Kerr picture over and over again - Drunken Stepfather

How do you say, "Please have a seat over there" in a Chris Hansen speaking Spanish voice? - Viralosity

Kristin Calamariwhatever's kid has already mastered the hand to face pose - The Berry 

Lindsay Lohan was drunk. Lindsay Lohan wasn't drunk. Lindsay Lohan hit the dude. Lindsay Lohan didn't hit the dude. You know how this goes. - Celebitchy

Ke$hit's album cover looks like a bunch of half-eaten vegetables rotting on top of a compost pile - Just Jared

Olga Kurylenko is flexible - Popoholic

Beyonce is smiling so hard at Obama that I wouldn't be surprised if her lace front popped off, flew through the air and on landed on his head - Popsugar

And the world still hates both of them - Celebslam

I'm just here for Googie Gomez - SOW

AssStain Kutcher is really into this - Cityrag

Justin Bieber's mom is trying to act like she didn't buy him from the Cabbage Patch nursery - IDLYITW

When is Melissa Joan Hart going to do the right thing by naming one of her kids Salem? - I'm Not Obsessed

Yunel Escobar of the Toronto Blue Jays got his ass suspended for putting the message "You're a Faggot" on his face and my only question is: So Isaiah Washington is working as a make-up artist now? - Towleroad

Kit Harrington looks like he's taking a caca on the side of a van, but it works for me and no that doesn't mean you can call me a scat queen from now on - Lainey Gossip

Perhaps Michael Lohan and Suge Knight can talk about this over a balcony - The Superficial 

Not pictured: Justin Bieber off camera screaming "EWWWWWW, Selena, close your legs! You know how girl parts make me feel!" - Hollywood Tuna 

"And this is what you put your eye on if you want to see what the gates of haven looks like." - Drunken Stepfather

The time Photoshop turned GOOPY Paltrow into Kelly Ripa - The Berry 

Denzel Washington's hair dome looks so soft. I just want to miniaturize myself and roll around in it. - Celebitchy

Is this Javier Bardem or Robert Downey Jr. as Pauly D? - Just Jared

Katie Holmes is back to looking dead inside on the cover of Harper's Bazaar Russia - ICYDK

Every now and again I'm reminded that Miley Cyrus' hair icon Pink is a mother - Popsugar

Today's "Nalgas show from a dude you don't know" moment is brought to you by Brian Merel - OMG Blog

Drew the Farm Kid and his "bitch, don't" face wins at life - SOW

Ted isn't dead - Hollywood Rag 

So many "dressing rooms at a Tijuana donkey show" jokes, so little time - Cityrag

Shakira and Usher will get whiplash on the next season of The Voice - I'm Not Obsessed

And cut to Joe Simpson in a law library checking to make sure that marrying your daughter hasn't suddenly become legal again - IDLYITW

Dennis Rodman's tortured lips look like labia that doesn't appreciate being pierced - Crunk + Disorderly

Gretchen Carlson got punked by a "former Obama supporter" on Fox & Friends. But this is nothing compared to the fact that Gretchen's hairstylist has been punking her for years now - The Superficial 

Keira Knightley wearing one of the Tin Man's arm casts on the cover of Vogue - Lainey Gossip

But for why is Daniel Radcliffe in front of a Sears portrait studio backdrop? - Towleroad

This totally staged picture of Blake Lively showing off her engagement ring looks like an ad for Kay Jewelers. Every kiss begins with BARF! - Popsugar

Adrianne Curry has fans - Hollywood Tuna 

25 is the number of firefighters it took to pry Pamela Anderson's suction cup coochie off that entertainment console - Drunken Stepfather

SHOW OFF! - The Berry 

Translation: Martha Stewart threatened to shank Blake Lively prison-style if she gave any info about her wedding to another magazine - Celebitchy

You know Finn Seyfried totally called the paps to take pictures of this kissing photo-op. FAME WHORE! - Just Jared

Kumquat and Jeroboam Martin are too good for American TV, but at least they'll learn how to scream "Largate de mi casa!" from watching all those novelas - ICYDK

Please tell me those aren't studded biker UGGs on Vanessa Hudgens' feet - Popoholic

Edward Quartermaine has passed away - SOW

Justin Bieber's father was born to be Justin Bieber's father - I'm Not Obsessed

Amy Winehouse's ashes were put to rest - Hollywood Rag 

Detective La Toya was ROBBED of being the opening act for Philip Treacy's Michael Jackson-themed hat show - OMG Blog

Like a turd talking to a turd covered in five layers of bronzer - Videogum

Halle Berry is only laughing because she spotted the plane she hired to carry a banner that read: GABRIEL AUBRY IS A RACIST MONSTER AND HE HATES THE FRENCH-FRENCH! - Cityrag

Somebody should tell Angie Jo that when she's not on set she doesn't have to wear her Maleficent costume - Popsugar

Sam Claflin in his Finnick make-up and he's working that Fashion Fair foundation hard - Lainey Gossip

White Oprah was not blitzed out of her skull during her interview with Dr. Phil, okay? For some reason, the room was spinning really fast and it made it hard for her to concentrate. It's like Dr. Phil purposefully conducted the interview in a carousel room to screw with her! - The Superficial 

Just put your tongue up to the monitor and scroll - The Berry 

Let's get up close and personal with Candice Swanepoel's ass dimple - Drunken Stepfather

LeAnn Rimes is a regular Gina from Beverly Hills 90210 - Celebitchy

Wil Sabin's "Porn Star" video will play on a loop on the screen in John Travolta's sleeping pod  - Towleroad

EXCLUSIVE pictures from Sally Struthers' DUI arrest (no offense to Sally Struthers) - Hollywood Tuna 

The naglas and peen of some dude who's in that V/h/s movie - OMG Blog 

I think I just got second-hand drunk from reading Tara Reid's tweets of denial - ICYDK

Celebrity see throughs - Cityrag

Proof that Kim Kardashian makes delicious ice cream look like a plop of shit just by holding it - I'm Not Obsessed

The National Enquirer really hates us and wants us to know that Pimp Mama Kris and O.J. Simpson boned bareback-style  - Celebslam

David Silver looks like he just crawled out of a dumpster after a 5-day heroin bender, but I still would - Popoholic

What in the hell kind of GD outfit is Jude Law wearing? - Just Jared

Ochocinco's tattoo looks extra extra EXTRA dumb now - Crunk + Disorderly

This spread of Jennifer Lawrence in W Magazine is the reason why a whole lot of freshly plucked and bitchy ass birds are waddling around while cursing her name - The Berry 

If the year was 1987 and Stacy Keibler was a Real Housewife of Dallas, that dress would be the look - Lainey Gossip

I KNEW IT! Alison Pill's chronic farting problem caused her to accidentally tweet a picture of her tits to the world - The Superficial 

But for why does Adrianne Curry have a severed Muppet paw on her head? - Drunken Stepfather

If Duchess Kate isn't knocked up, I'll be really pissed at her, because how can you only drink water with all that free booze around? - Celebitchy

It looks like both of JLo's lips are pouting - Hollywood Tuna 

But can I still put my mouth under a soda machine and guzzle down Coke until I start pissing out pure corn syrup? That's not part of the big soda ban, right? - Towleroad

James Cameron on why it was impossible for both Jack and Rose to lie on that floating door - OMG Blog

Well, at least Lea Michele's facial expression dial isn't set to sexyface in every one of these pictures - Popoholic

Selma Blair is singular again - ICYDK

Today's moment of sadness is brought to you by these pictures of Tommy Girl with a shrunken rack - Popsugar

Erin Heatherton is good at yoga and does it next to Helen Hunt apparently - IDLYITW

Pink and Lily Allen made a song together and here it is - Just Jared

TINA KNOWLES' FACE!!!!!!!!! - Crunk + Disorderly

Knocked up: Sara Rue is - I'm Not Obsessed

Knocked up: Adriana Lima isn't anymore, because she had that baby - Hollywood Rag

Are we sure that "unidentified woman" wasn't just Billy Ray after a blowout? - Celebslam

Courtney Stodden's kind loves hats! - Cityrag