Quote of the Day
Loki's forever soulmate Mickey Rourke, who just finished promoting Iron Man 2 with Fishsticks Paltrow (hint hint), says most movie stars can kiss his face (which is worse than kissing his ass) because he doesn't have a sliver of respect for them. Mickey wouldn't even respect them if they were covered in fluffy fur, yapped at the wind, tossed their own salad and shat out butt pieces the size of a thumbnail. That's saying a lot.
Mickey tells Parade Magazine (via HuffPo): “You can be less than mediocre and be a fucking movie star. I have respect for very few actors and actresses. Some of them get a lot of acclaim but just because their movie made $200 million at the box office, they still suck. I got no respect for them and I used to let them know it. It was important for me to put that aside and go, ‘You know what? This is a business. If you kiss the right ass and you get lucky on a movie or two, you could last 10 years.’ So, now, I just keep my mouth shut and pet my chihuahuas.”
Of course Mickey has to keep his mouth shut, because if he doesn't those asshole stars won't let him be in their movies and then how will he keep his little dog friends in the lifestyle they are accustomed to? Bedazzled dog bowls, canine anal bleaching and doggy nipple massages don't pay for themselves!
Radar asked Michelle Duggar if she's thinking about adding baby #20 to the pile, and she had this to say:
“We would love more! I’m 43 almost 44 this September, I know that my mommy years are probably numbered and I don’t know how many more children God will see fit to give me.”
Michelle Duggar's uterus was unable to respond to her comment, because it was too busy doing this:
Well, I guess I got the "mess" part right in the title. So...Stephen Baldwin, the burnt out weed bud of the Baldwin brothers, gave a long ass interview about RestoreStephenBaldwin.com, the website devoted to putting money into his checking account in the name of the lord.
Stephen didn't create the website himself, but he's throwing up his hands and praising it. This is what Stephen had to say when he was asked if he would actually accept your donations:
Yeah, I would accept it, but I want to just clarify. What's interesting is the initial motivation was this vision to see if Christians and people of that faith might agree with an idea and the vision that he had, and the larger vision is this thing called 'All Who Knew Him.' I'm just somebody that agreed to be the first recipient of that vision. I'll be honest with you, I wasn't sure whether or not this thing was going to get any attention or have any awareness. I don't even know how long it's been out there, but it sat around for a while initially. As the result of one blogger writing something pretty nasty, that's what kind of became the catalyst for the awareness that we see now. Interestingly enough, I don't have any numbers, but a significant response in regards to donations has been triggered as a result of that. So, in other words, somebody wrote something mean, and Christians said, "Whoa, wait a second, maybe that isn't such a bad idea."
Again, I have no control over any of it. I'm not looking at it like it's some business deal for me. I'm not involved, I don't want to be involved... it's a charitable situation and whatever God's going to do, God's going to do. If it turns out to be something that blesses me in a great way financially, then amen. I can tell you right now: If $20 to $50 million came in from the launch of this idea -- the idea being this 'All Who Knew Him' vision -- I think that would be a great opportunity to use those funds to do more and more charitable work. It could become something that once people go to the Web site and understand its true motivation is, I think the sky is the limit and that would be awesome. But the key there is that people need to go to the Web site and understand its true motivation. So many people are reacting to it without really understanding it.
If that's making you throw Stephen a "Come again?" look, then read the rest of the WTF interview at Popeater.
You know, if I put a $10 bill in Stephen's donation cup, I might see the light (no, I won't) and feel warmth in my veins. But if I put a $10 bill in a bartender's hand, I know for a fact I will see the light, feel warmth in my veins AND THEN SOME. So I'll go with the latter.
Ke¢ha on a skit she'd like to do on Saturday Night Live tomorrow night:
"But one idea was someone recently told me I smell like shrimp in a diaper, so I thought I could do a perfume skit about me with my eau de perfume being a shrimp in a diaper. It's very sensual."
Does this trick hang out in the NYC subways for most of August, because that's exactly what it reeks like down there. And in somewhere in the world, Terrence Howard's nostrils just exploded.
Source (Thanks John)
Completely sane (insert your side-eye here) artiste Nina Hagen on the Illuminati puppet that is Lady Gaga:
"Lady Gaga is a pop prostitute, a satanic bitch with her fascist and demonic secret signs! Her pop prostitution has more to do with bikini advertising than with warmth."
Marilyn Manson on how he's sick of hos comparing him to Lady Caca and a certain Nazi skankbomb:
"I'm starting to feel that people are saying I'm Lady Gaga and also that Jesse James woman. I'm starting to feel insulted, 'cause I don't want to look like either one of them."
via E! Online
Insanely insane Kirstie Alley tells Ladies' Homes Journal how Scientology helped(?) her:
"Scientology helps you lose your insanities. One of the keys is to say, 'You're in charge of your life, buster. You're responsible for any condition you're in.' I've been irresponsible many, many, many times and that has resulted in me being fat."
Beth Ditto on how she used to be the government cheese version of Winona Ryder:
"I have a hard time not buying or stealing. If I want something, I have to have it. But not anymore. The last time was three months ago - a dress from Marshalls. I used to steal more. I mostly stole from Goodwill. You know, 'Can't be bothered. The line's too long. Put it in your purse'."
via Paper Mag
It's been a while since we've sat in on one of Khia's sermons, so here's her thoughts on Trina's leaked naked pictures. Bow your head, and listen to the preacher preach!
Keep your head bowed, she's not done yet.
Now raise your hands to the sky, and nod like you know what she's going on about! Seriously, I never thought it was possible for someone to mumble through their Tweets, but Khia has proven me wrong.
And you know that pile of rubber bands on your desk? Yeah, you might want to keep those in your drawer from now on.
Here's even more Imodium-laced quotes from John Mayer's Playboy interview. John has already said that Jessica Simpson gets an A plus at fuck times and Jennifer Aniston wants to time travel back to 1998. John also talked about how he has a "hood pass" and how his penis is a members of the KKK.
When asked if black women try to get with him, John answered: "I don't think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick."
John should really turn that quote into a jingle.
Playboy wanted to dig further by asking his ass which black women he thinks are hot: "I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She's superhot, and she's also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she'd be like, 'Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.' And you'd be like, 'What? We weren't talking about that.'"
And about that "hood pass," John explained it like this: "Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?' And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We’re full.’
What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s."
Where do we begin? Actually, let's not, because my brain is still stuck on picturing John Nightmayer's penis in a KKK robe. NOT TODAY.