Rehab

Larry King's wifey #6 (or 7?) has checked herself into rehab for an addiction to painkillers reports Page Six. 48-year-old Shawn Southwick King has been married to 7,689-year-old Larry King for 10 years. They have two brats together.

A friend of Larry's said, "Shawn is in rehab for medication issues related to her chronic migraine problem." He forgot to mention that Shawn's vagina is also in rehab for severe emotional trauma due to years of having to kiss and hug Larry's shriveled up snail.

If you were married to the dead, you would be on heroin, PCP, meth, ludes, coke, painkillers, Nyquil, booze, freon, peyote, jankem and more! Your kitchen would look like a Miami Vice episode.

You know that when Shawn checked into rehab, the rehab bitch asked her, "So what brings you here?" She responded, "I'm married to Larry King." Rehab bitch shouted, "Give her the works!"

The aliens are coming for Dr. Drew! During an interview with Playboy, that hot bitch Dr. Drew talked about Tommy Girl's batshit crazy behavior. The gloves are off.

He said, "A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that's a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood - maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect."

Dr. Drew deserves a two handed hand job for that comment, but I fear for his safety. Yes, he can probably hold his own in an alien knife fight, but still! Tommy Girl's lawyer fought back and compared Drew to a Nazi. He said, "This unqualified television performer who is obviously just looking for notoriety is so grotesquely unprofessional as to pretend to diagnose Tom and others without ever meeting them. He seems to be spewing the absurdity that all Scientologists are mentally ill. The last time we heard garbage like this was from Joseph Goebbels." GLIB!

And Tommy Girl knows so much about Nazis because he was in a Nazi movie that will probably never come out. Give me a fucking break. Tommy better not mess with Dr. Drew. He has Chyna on his side and that crazy giant could easily knock Tommy out with one swift punch from her mutant-clit.

Source: Page Six

"Celebrity Rehab 2" started production yesterday at Dr. Drew's facility in Pasadena, CA and most of the cast members have been identified. Jeff Conaway who was in the first "Celebrity Rehab" is back! He should just move in there permanently. I'm just going to assume that Jeff will be in every season. He's a crowd pleaser. There's nothing like a good old-fashioned Conaway detox to kick off a show!

The rest of the cast includes Rodney King ("Can't we all just get along"), Nikki McKibbin (American Idol), Tawny Kitaen (original video ho), Amber Smith (model), Steven Adler (Guns N' Roses), Sean Stewart (son of Rod) and Gary Busey. Basically a bunch of "whos?" and THE FUCKING BUSEY!

Busey + Conaway + Detoxing = GOLD!

Heidi Fleiss, Aaron Carter and Sebastian Bach were all rumored to be part of the cast at one point. The NY Post reports Heidi dropped out at the last minute. She probably couldn't be without her 10 million parrots.

The new season premieres in October.

Eva Mendes reportedly went to rehab to "research" a film role, Kiki Dunst said she went to rehab for depression and now Steven Tyler is saying he went to rehab to recover from a foot boo boo. I swear, these whores excuses are getting more elaborate? What's next? Going to rehab because you heard their meat lasagna was delicious? Going to rehab because you really love the scent of detoxing junkies in the morning?

Steven checked into Dr. Drew's rehab clinic earlier this month and it was claimed he was receiving treatment for a substance abuse problem. Steven's blaming his foot!

He said in a statement issued to People, "The 'foot repair' pain was intense, greater than I'd anticipated. The months of rehabilitative care and the painful strain of physical therapy were traumatic. I really needed a safe environment to recuperate where I could shut off my phone and get back on my feet. Make no mistake, Aerosmith has no plans to stop rocking. There's a new album to record, then another tour."

He's a fucking rock star! He should have just lied and said he was addicted to coke, booze, beastilaity and looking like Janice Dickinson. You know, rock star shit! Instead, he admits he's got the old people disease!

Eva Mendes checked her hot ass into Utah's Cirque Lodge rehab facility last January for "personal issues." Star Magazine (via SF Gate) claims Eva was actually researching a film role. Eva plays a Spanish drug lord in the movie "Queen of the South." Her character flees Mexico for Spain when her drug-runner boyfriend is murdered. Errr.....what does this have to do with rehab?

An acting coach told the magazine, "It's not unusual at all for an actor or actress to go to the extreme of checking into rehab to prepare for a character. In fact, I would encourage that for my students, because you want to fully immerse yourself in the role."

Nice try, Eva. If this is true, she checked herself into the wrong joint. The bitch really should have gone undercover in an acting school.

Hopefully, she'll play Charles Manson in her next movie and check into prison for a long ass time in order to "research" the role.

Stephen Victor Tallarico aka Stephen Tyler has checked himself into rehab in Pasadena, CA. TMZ reports that 60-year-old Stephen is receiving treatment at the joint where Dr. Drew practices and where "Celebrity Rehab" is shot. Stephen is being treated for substance abuse.

His spokeswhore would not comment.

Are they sure it wasn't Janice Dickinson that checked into rehab? They look like twins and she fucking needs help too.

Seriously, Stephen is getting too old for that crackhead shit! There comes a time when you need to put down the pipe, pick up the remote and turn on "Murder She Wrote." Being 60 is all about worshiping Angela Lansbury, eating lunch at Hometown Buffet and nagging your children. 60 is not about drugging and boozing.

If anybody can help him, Dr. Drew can! I think....

Dennis Rodman has done the unthinkable! He has checked himself into rehab just days after he was arrested for allegedly beating down his girlfriend. I know, it's pretty shocking. It was either check into rehab or go on Dr. Phil and open up about your "past demons" and how you want to change your evil ways. Yeah, I'd rather check into rehab too. Lots of sex, drugs and donuts.

Dennis' manager told People, "Yes, Dennis checked into an outpatient rehab center in Fort Lauderdale today. His life has not been going smoothly for the last few months since his divorce. He has not been able to see his kids. And he has been drinking too much."

Hopefully, Dennis will complete rehab and begin to live a clean and healthy life. That way he can go on with his career. Yeah, I don't know what career I'm talking about either. Feel free to leave your suggestions below.

Naturally, CNN's Richard Quest has followed up his embarrassing arrest last Friday by checking into rehab. Richie was arrested last week after cops found him wandering in Central Park after park curfew. He admitted to the cops that he was carrying meth. In a search, cops later found a rope around his neck which was tied to his genitals. Oh and they found a sex toy in his shoe too. He's a walking party!

CNN issued this statement about Richie going into rehab:

"At this time, CNN's primary concern is for his health and wellbeing. We look forward to Richard returning to CNN International."

Anderson Cooper issued his own statement, "Better him than me." He didn't say that, but someone needs to ask him about this mess.

During Richie's arraignment last Saturday, he agreed to undergo drug counseling for six months in order to avoid time in jail.

Couldn't Richie wait until June for Celebrity Rehab 2?! I need him to show me what kind of knot he used to keep the rope around his genitals. I've been trying, but I can't seem to get it right. Richie needs to show me the way.

Source

I give Heidi Fleiss an "A for effort" for trying to cover up her methface with a zillion plastic surgery procedures. Unfortunately, all the injecting and prodding has brought the meth out even more. Mega methface! Heidi is hoping to get the meth out of her life for good by joining the cast of "Celebrity Rehab 2" with Dr. Drew.

Heidi told Radar that filming begins the second week of June. She joked, "My dream is to be on Celebrity Rehab ... how did I get so lucky? I have a substance abuse problem, and I want to deal with it. I will take it seriously. " This will be Heidi's fourth time at the rodeo. She said her problems are meth and Vicodin, "If I want my Vicodin I'm going to take my Vicodin. And if I want a little of that crystal meth."

Heidi kept the jokes coming, "Rush Limbaugh's my idol, though. He takes 30 OxyContin a day and does that radio show." She's totally not joking.

Good luck to Heidi! You can take the meth out of the girl, but you can't take the meth out of her face. Sadly...

Amy Wino is reportedly set to return to rehab for the ten millionth time. Wino's management wants to transport her crack ass overseas to get help. Wino has asked for their help and knows she needs rehab.

A source told The Sun, “There are too many temptations for her in the UK — people around her in London are making it impossible for her to stay clean for any length of time. Her management had considered flying her to a clinic in Israel but are now looking further afield. They are assessing a clinic in Cape Town in South Africa.”

I don't care if they send that girl to a rehab facility on the moon, she's not going to get better until she dumps Blaaaaaake. He's her cocaine.

If Wino stays with Blaaake, the only way to get her clean is to give the bitch an autopsy. She needs to have her blood drained and her organs cleaned out. She's hardcore crack dirty.

The Sun also asked a doctor about Wino's alleged "impetigo" face. He said, "THE BITCH HAS CRACK FACE!!!" No...he said, “The damage is quite severe, but not unusual with crack cocaine abuse. She’s got a number of sores, some of which look infected, and others that have formed ulcers.”

Proactiv should come out with a "crack face" edition. They would make a killing on Wino alone.