H-I-M Wrote Lady Gaga's "Judas"
If anybody has God's PayPal information, please forward it to Lady Gaga, because she's going to need to give him a hefty cut of the sales of her new single "Judas" since he's basically the one who wrote the lyrics and melody. Yes, God wrote a song about being in love with Judas. The breakfast nook up in heaven is going to be a cavalcade of side-eyes, hurt feelings and "Pass the me juice...how dare yous" mumbled under hot breaths. Don't worry, Robert Altman is filming the family drama for you and you'll find the footage in your DVR when you get up there.
During Klingon Madonna's verbal breakdown in front of NME, she not only said that she's made of original and organic materials, but she also knocked the Prada nipple clamps off the Pope's body by saying that God himself telepathically sent her the lyrics to Judas. Before Judas was released, NME (via ONTD) asked her how she thinks people will receive it since everybody with working ears called "Born This Way" a Xerox copy of "Express Yourself."
"I just have to say (Starts crying)....I feel like honestly that God sent me those lyrics and that melody. When you feel a message to give to the world and people are shooting arrows through it...there's no way for something that pure to be wrong. (Reaches for Marilyn Monroe lighter) I need a cigarette."
And on to say those "Express Yourself" comparisons....
"No. Listen to me. Why the fuck...? I'm a songwriter. I've written loads of music. Why would I try to put out a song and think I'm getting one over on everybody? That's retarded. What a completely ridiculous thing to even question me about. I will look you in the eyes and tell you that I am not dumb enough or moronic enough to think that you are dumb or moronic enough not to see that I would have stolen a melody. If you put the songs next to each other, side by side, the only similarities are the chord progression. It's the same one that's been in disco music for the last 50 years. Just because I'm the first fucking artist in 25 years to think of putting it on Top 40 radio, it doesn't mean I'm a plagiarist. It means I'm fucking smart. Sorry.(Starting to well up) I just don't want my fans - I don't know. This is exhausting. I just don't want to perpetuate that shit. I'm sure you want to address, but it's so ridiculous. I was fucking shell-shocked by it. It's so funny to hear you say, 'It must have been an homage,' I'm like, NO. When I homage, I fucking homage with a big fucking sign saying I've done it. Why would I not do that now? I need a fucking drink. (Sighs). "
This is the part where I'm supposed to write a 1,000-word rant about how Caca needs to stop fucking ideas out of Madonna's catalog, but it's all been said before. Instead, I'm just going to grab that Marilyn Monroe lighter before she gets to it and smoke a joint on this 420 while the special needs groups attack her with bornthisway hashtags for that "retarded" comment.
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Submitted by Who Datt: "She`s becoming Joey Heatherton faster than I thought."
Ha, ha!!! Poor Joey. Remember that 1964 movie she made, "Where Love Has Gone," where Susan Hayward plays her mom, who is an artist, and Bette Davis plays her grandmother? It's very Lana and Cheryl Turner where daughter kills mother's lover. DeForest Kelly (!!!) plays Hayward's lover. At one point he tells her, "With you, sex and art go hand in hand. Sculptor...pagan...alleycat!"
Regarding GaGa, hate on her all you want, MK, I still love her.
I wonder if this broad spits or swallows. I'm guessing swallows? Only because she might believe she'd be able to extract new ideas from various men's semen.
What about her blatant thievery of Ace of Base's "Don't Turn Around" in Alejandro? She's such a fake.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 1:19pm.
Somebody please kick this asshole in the cunt
...polenta
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What the fuck is she on really???? WTH
Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 8:02pm.
Based on the article alone, this bitch is doing some hardcore drugs. Not just coke.
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Yup. As others have already said, she makes no sense--just ranting. I spent too much time trying to make sense of the following:
"I will look you in the eyes and tell you that I am not dumb enough or moronic enough to think that you are dumb or moronic enough not to see that I would have stolen a melody."
Her mouth is running but her brain's disengaged. She also has grandiose delusions.
Submitted by sonne on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 2:55pm.
Yes to Kryten, lol, and yes to the girl from Die Antwoord (she's prettier and more original though...christ, the entire group is more original and interesting than Caca).
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I have not been on here for ages, my god look at all the new people! Anyways, I must concur, I am in LOVE with Yolandi from Die Antwoord, actually the whole group is freaky, crazy and original coming out with mixed sounds from the underground. At least S. Africa/interscope records can give us Die Antwoord and USA/interscope records gives us fucking CACA..sad times in American musical landscape
"How many times do you read an interview with somebody from a UK magazine and they have Americans saying the "tele" or "mum"...ect"
THIS. And it's SO annoying. I'm American and I used to live in the UK and it was the bane of my existence then. Every celebrity interview I read in any publication would be riddled with British slang no matter where the person was from. There would be a friggin' quote from Britney Spears about how she loved being a "mum" and "really fancied some chips for tea!"
BRITISH BITCHES NEED TO STOP.
Also - Gaga is totally a cokehead. She pretty much admitted to nearly overdosing once, too.
For awhile, I really thought people were being too hard on her. Recently, I've realized what all the fuss was about. What pisses me off is that she keeps this charade going, this whole, "I'm so unique, you've never seen or heard anything like this" crap. When it's so obvious that she's not original. You can produce music that people will buy even if you never try to be, or claim to be, one of a kind. (Look at Britney) She's so incredibly pretentious and delusional. I'd love for someone to take her down a peg. (Or 5)
WINNING!!
"I hear you on the radio
You permeate my screen, its' unkind but
If I met you in a scissor fight
I'd cut off both your wings on principle alone
On principle alone
Hey megalomaniac
You're no Jesus
Yeah, you're no fucking Elvis
Wash your hands clean of yourself baby
Maniac, step down, step down"
Just came to my mind..
I can't see the video, but based on the article alone, this bitch is doing some hardcore drugs. Not just coke. IMO.
"Just because I'm the first fucking artist in 25 years to think of putting it on Top 40 radio, it doesn't mean I'm a plagiarist. It means I'm fucking smart. Sorry." No, bitch, you're not smart. If you were, no one would be able to pick out that you steal other people's melodies. You're just a crazy, egomanial, coked out cunty idiot with your head shoved way too far up your own ass.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Will SOMEONE PLEASE come and shut this pathetic freakshow down already?? Have we not had enough of this stupid garbage yet?
Andre,could you bring me my fan,,could you bake it in a cake or stick it up your ass or something? I must have my fan RIGHT AWAY"
Isn`t it a blessing that with all the strife and carnage in Libya, Yemen, the Ivory Coast, Bahrain, Belarus, Japan and New Zealand, He still had a few hours to spare to inspire one of His disciples to pen yet another pre-fab euro-pop dirge. Fills my heart with a raidant warmth. :)
Submitted by vidz on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 4:29pm.
What she's stealing Vadge's GAP tooth now too?
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Yup, Vadge's gap, Grace Jones' face, the Blues Brothers' mission from God . . .
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
She`s becoming Joey Heatherton faster than I thought.
By the way...that wasn`t a compliment.
Submitted by shandi on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 2:51pm.
In this picture, she looks like Kryten from Red Dwarf. Anyone know what I'm talking about?
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YES!!!!!!
Except Kryten had better dental work and looked far more lifelike.
Kryten would tell her to 'smeg off'!
.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bqVAmaUJ1U
What she's stealing Vadge's GAP tooth now too?
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
She looks like Elijah Wood here. Have I not noticed that gap teeth before or is this an affectation?
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Yes to Kryten, lol, and yes to the girl from Die Antwoord (she's prettier and more original though...christ, the entire group is more original and interesting than Caca).
Am I the only one who hates it when UK publications misquote people? NME is an Irish publication.
"I'm a songwriter. I've written loads of music." American people don't say "loads of..." like that. Americans would say "I've written tons of music" or "I've written lots of music" but they don't say "I've written loads of music"
I know it isn't a huge deal, but it is hard to take anything they say as reliable when you know their quotes are wrong. How many times do you read an interview with somebody from a UK magazine and they have Americans saying the "tele" or "mum"...ect
Submitted by saltydog88 on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 2:55pm.
Am I the only one who hates it when UK publications misquote people? NME is an Irish publication.
"I'm a songwriter. I've written loads of music." American people don't say "loads of..." like that. Americans would say "I've written tons of music" or "I've written lots of music" but they don't say "I've written loads of music"
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Um, that's a pretty broad generalization. I'm American and use "loads of" all the time.
In this picture, she looks like Kryten from Red Dwarf. Anyone know what I'm talking about?
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by LisaRose
Is it so weird to image that Jesus loves Judas? Jesus loves EVERYBODY!! I like the song but still wish it was MORE. More WHAT, I don't know!!
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I agree! Religion is always a compelling concept for a song... but the end result here is disappointingly trite. If "God" wrote it, he wasn't trying very hard that day.
BTW, thanks to whoever posted the Weird Al parody. V. funny. I'm v. surprised that Caca is offended by this. If that's not a sign that you've officially "made it," I don't know what is!
How sad to think she may have peaked with 'Bad Romance'
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by mbar on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 1:34pm.
She's trying too hard to be dark. She needs to drop the Neo Nazi look...or basically the Leslie from Die Antwoord look.
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Cosign on all you wrote and "YES!", I was trying to figure out who this trick was channeling with her new look. She does look like that pixie albino in the face.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Typical cokehead talk. I hate this cunt. Go away!
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 11:08am.
BUMP IT!!
http://youtu.be/Rkrdmf7GzKg
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LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Christ I love DListed. You guys share the most hilarious shit XD
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Only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE
Submitted by ritzyroxie on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 12:11pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 11:08am.
BUMP IT!!
http://youtu.be/Rkrdmf7GzKg
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YES!!1! Now I have a new move! *Does "look at me" arm twirl in cubicle* All the cats at home will dance tonight!
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Ha! I've been doing that at my kid since I saw it today and she has the nerve to look at me like I'm an alien! It's working tho:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
"I will look you in the eyes and tell you that I am not dumb enough or moronic enough to think that you are dumb or moronic enough not to see that I would have stolen a melody."
Sooooooo, are you saying you ripped it or not? I...I don't understand.
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Only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE
She's trying too hard to be dark. She needs to drop the Neo Nazi look...or basically the Leslie from Die Antwoord look.
And the beats she is buying are weak. I'm guessing that RedOne is charging $6000 per beat now or some shit. And she just wants money now. So she's like, "Fuck this shit. I'm gonna save money and just have random DJ's make my beats for me." Hence the shitty beats on Born This Way and Judas.
Never hire a DJ to do a professional beat makers' job.
(I unfortunately delved into the music industry two years ago. That's how I know so much about this shit. See, professional beat makers just sit in their apartment all day making beats. That's all they do. It's no way to live your life, but it's what they do. Whereas DJ beat makers just make shitty beats in their free time. They suck. Benny Benassi made one good beat, and that was the Celebration beat he made for Madonna. But, being a DJ, all the rest of his beats suck.)
Somebody please kick this asshole in the cunt already.
That Weird Al parody was hilarious. Had to share it on my FB!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
"I will look you in the eyes and tell you that I am not dumb enough or moronic enough to think that you are dumb or moronic enough not to see that I would have stolen a melody."
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Say WHA?! I can't even figure out what this is supposed to mean. Girlfriend be trippin', yo.
Submitted by catfight357 on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 12:27pm.
I love how she is on her mighty fucking high horse about equality for everyone, (in fact she'd be the first one to freakthefuckout if someone said a derogatory word against gay people) but then she goes & drops the word "retard" in an interview.
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Yes, excellent point. I literally cringed when I read that word in her quote. So now she's just another overprivileged, self-important non-celebrity? I guess you can take the girl out of Manhattan's east-side private schools, ...
LOL @ "Klingon Madonna"!
Charo was right when she said "GaGa is Madonna with diarrhea".
This woman is disgusting.
She waxes lyrical about her "love yourself" mantra and then uses incredibly offensive language like "retarded" in casual conversation.
I guess that people with developmental disorders or intellectual disabilities don't by records.
She is gutter-feeding trash, and I gleefully await the day that her shitter finally explodes under the strain of her songwriting.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I've been defending Gaga for a while now. I've enjoyed her music and her chutzpah (artistry?), for the most part. But even I'm getting really annoyed by her shit. She's a fucking pop singer. She doesn't save lives, or talk to Jesus, or move mountains. Gaga: You are A. Pop. Singer. No more, no less. Now lay off the coke and take a vacation, because you really seem to be losing your shit.
Is it so weird to image that Jesus loves Judas? Jesus loves EVERYBODY!! I like the song but still wish it was MORE. More WHAT, I don't know!! I normally also get mad when a performer tells Weird Al that he can't parody their song but I can see how "Born This Way" is too personal for her to give up. Maybe in time she'll let him. I love Weird Al!! He's amazing in concert. I always say you know a performer is great when everyone from 4 to 90 show up for you and all have a blast!!
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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She was always too fug to have a long shelf life.
this is what I hear when Lady CaCa starts her shit...blah, blah, blah....I am basically a plagarist...blah, blah, blah, I am totally unoriginal...blah, blah, (sniff weep whine)....I am fake as a silicone boob.
She is not fooling anyone with her dramatics...CaCa is about as genuine as the rolex watch a homeless man try to sell me.
I love how she is on her mighty fucking high horse about equality for everyone, (in fact she'd be the first one to freakthefuckout if someone said a derogatory word against gay people) but then she goes & drops the word "retard" in an interview.
Sorry honey - that word hasn't been appropriate in years.
I fucking hate this cunt. Just STFU and sing.
She has perfected the poor, misunderstood artist victim to a capital T. GO AWAY Lady Unoriginal.
Fall into the gap.
AHAHAHAHHAAH Roxy!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
OOh my goodness, Weird Al's Gaga cover rules. He covers on his blog (like is earlier somewhere here) about how her camp said "no" to the release after forcing him to record it first (despite his having sent her the lyrics beforehand). It's excellent and on point:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUxXKfQkswE
And homegirl's probably just acting. I don't think she has it in her to do anything beyond Adderral for getting skinny. Tortured my ass-it's just part of the plan, which will of course backfire because the music behind it sucks so bad.
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"on the bright side, she can use her tit skin as a belt."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 12:24pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 11:08am.
BUMP IT!!
http://youtu.be/Rkrdmf7GzKg
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YES!!1! Now I have a new move! *Does "look at me" arm twirl in cubicle* All the cats at home will dance tonight!
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People are always trying to eat me on the subway.
Such is the life of a baked good!
-evilcupcake 3/18/11
God just tweeted me, he wants no part of this diasaster. He has tornadoes to attend to.
She sounds like a crazy cokehead..and all of my friends who are crazy ex cokeheads agree. Judas sounds like the inside of crackies head on the dancefloor at 5am..in 2001.
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Annelle, honey, what do you say we talk some trash.
OMG fuck you IG like my head wasn't hurtin already!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."