Sunday, May 1st 2011
BUT WHO GOT FIRED ON CELEBRITY APPRENTICE?!!!
According to Fox News, some ho named Usama Bin Landen (which sort of sounds like the name of a European socialite bitch arch rival of Alexis Carrington on Dynasty) is dead. They cut into Celebrity Apprentice for this news! Will Obama get to the announcement already so we can find out if NeNe chews off Star's head at the end of the board room while Dective La Toya giggles?!
And I really wouldn't be surprised if Obama comes to the podium and lets out a giant "Psych! I just wanted to cut into Trump again!" Yup, wig snatching Trump two days in a row!
(Thanks Zachary)
• 
oh yeah, maybe there are those who wouldn't have learned, having been through the birther/truther/deather mudslide, knowing how this is the sort of thing for which conspiracy theories will rage for hundreds of years, that the administration would be extra, extra careful to collect any and all possible evidence of his death.
he was buried at sea quickly because that's what Islamic law dictates, and yes, the USA just gave proper respect to the most hated man in the world by burying him as his religion dictates. That's how awesome our President is...surgical precision, no civilian or American casualties, no leaks, target acquired. just gives you chills, doesn't it?
there will be no conspiracy theories, people...other than the fevered blatherings of the hopelessly cynical. to those people, seek help. they make really good drugs for that sort of thing now.
our President is a genius, has accomplished more in 3 years than many have accomplished in 8, and he sure as hell is getting another 5 years. you do realize President Obama is winning the election in 2012? yes, it's true.
you know why? because if Bush had accomplished HALF of what Obama has, Bush would STILL be President. yes, the Constitution would have been amended; the Bushes have pull like that.
President Barack Hussein Obama will be sworn in for a second term in January of 2013. count on it. any Republican running against him is suicidal. I wouldn't even bother if I were a Republican.
Say it with me now. 4 more years President Barack Hussein Obama. 4 more years President Barack Hussein Obama. oooh that feels good, doesn't it? one more time. 4 more years President Barack Hussein Obama. aaaaaaah. Think I'll go jogging this morning. :D
Submitted by K2 on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 7:27am.
Thank you for shedding some light on the burial ritual. It would've been nice if the President would've elaborated on the quickness of it all .. but this makes sense.
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You're welcome. Hopefully Prez & Co. are too busy going through the information gathered at Osama's mansion to give out details about how things went down. If they got anything out of that squat we'll be hearing about assholes taking a pop to their headspace from across the world over the next couple of months.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Meh. This is the big news!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110502/ap_en_ot/us_people_carey_cannon
all the proof they can say they have now may as well be contrived. The body is lost at sea and people are supposed to believe hearsay. This is politics people.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=636511281
*yawn smack stretch*
forgive me I was up celebrating last night...
so, was everyone on the site too busy snarking to watch the detailed coverage?
Osama bin-should-have-died finally got his icy cold plate of justice, a plan executed flawlessly by our brave troops at the direction of the Commander In Chief, President Barack Hussein Obama.
I hope you all noticed the fact that this went down a few days after his long birth certificate was revealed.
The rope-a-dope the President pulled on so many, from the terrorists to the teabaggers, was so brilliant...a complete joy to behold.
To those teabaggers whose heads didn't explode last night, please do your part to contain the spread of STDs (Stupid Teabagger Disease) by burying your heads in the sand. Thanks.
:D
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 7:22am.
Why Osama was buried at sea so quickly:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/02/bin-laden-body-buried-sea
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Thank you for shedding some light on the burial ritual. It would've been nice if the President would've elaborated on the quickness of it all .. but this makes sense.
ZiggyStardust on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 7:21am.
Why are people celebrating the HOPE of some far off dream rather than facing up to the reality of the present and the past 10 years?
Exactly right. 'Hope' would entail getting rid of ALL terrorists. Does bringing down bin-laden help? Doubtful since the whole "burial at sea" seems extra hokey.
The idiot fuck in the white house right now (who I helped get elected) is a sham.
I think the timelines are off - at first they were saying it happened a week ago and they have now verified DNA. Then Obama came on and said it happened that day. I think the week-ago timeline is probably more accurate.
Our son is in Baghdad on his second deployment, so of course I fear for the retaliation that may come but still glad we got the goatherd no matter when it was.
On a lighter note, don't you bet Duchess Catherine is thrilled this wasn't announced Friday?
Why Osama was buried at sea so quickly:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/02/bin-laden-body-buried-sea
At the end of the day, whether people choose to celebrate, contemplate, or debate most understand that they'll still have the same problems the day after that they had the day before.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Why are people celebrating the HOPE of some far off dream rather than facing up to the reality of the present and the past 10 years?
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I like a conspiracy as much as the next person, but I don't think that the US government is stupid enough to not obtain evidence. Do you really think that they killed him, took one look at his body and said, 'Yep, that's him' and then chucked him in the ocean? They obviously took pictures and DNA evidence. It's the 21st century, for christ's sake.
Plus, it would make no sense to make something like this up at this moment in time. I know families of the victims, and soldiers fighting right now, so I refuse to entertain this foolishness.
I think that conspiracy theorists give the government too much credit. Bush was running it, so it can't be that complex.
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It's not that serious.
And another thing to say about "Ben Laden's" death pics: BAD PHOTOSHOP, guys! Try harder...
Enjoy ur reading...
"A Fairy Story
Now children, are you sitting comfortably? Then your government will begin. Once upon a time there were three little pigs and they all sprouted wings. One little pig did not have a birth certificate so they faked one very badly so he could say he was the Big Pig and live with his snout in a trough in his little, well, not so little, white house.
One day Big Pig, who was really only doing what he was told to save his bacon, announced that a naughty man who had died a long time ago had died again. The naughty man was very clever to do this, but he was well known for his little tricks. For years after he died the first time he still managed to speak on new videos and tell the people just how naughty he was.
Then another little pig said that the naughty man had been thrown into the sea and so the people could not see his face and know that the Big Pig was telling the truth. But everyone with a brain knew that the Big Pig never told the truth and so they knew that Big Pig was telling more porkies.
Big Pig and the little pigs showed the people a picture that was made up to fool lots of them, and, unfortunately, children, this was usually not very difficult to do.
The End."
Basically we're suppose to believe that this man was already buried at sea even before our President announced the death to us? Come the fuck on! I was born at night .... NOT last night. I hate being cynical - but I've learned that if these politicians mouths are moving ... they're lying ! We've waited 10 YEARS to kill this guy and when they finally do - we dont get to see the proof?
If it's true - wonderful news ...
I'm going to have to brush up on my NATO laws and regulations, but I know it is non conform to NATO's legislation to kill off a head of a country or someone in power. They can't purposefully kill off Gadhafi, a man who murders his own people every day.
Threw him away at sea - hahahaha, sorry, I can't buy that. No autopsy, no coronary report, no evidence...no no no, it doesn't add up. The only word to describe this that comes to mind is propaganda which are ideas, facts, or allegations spread deliberately to further one's cause or to damage an opposing cause. That's all it is.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=636511281
People are still deploying. I see these kids shipped out every day. My better half included. Iraq, Afghanistan, you name it. Deployments are scheduled years ahead. They can celebrate the HOPE that soldiers are coming home, but thats all they re going to be celebrating.....
"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by chasing windmills on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:44am.
I think people are celebrating the HOPE that the USA will send the troops home across the board, not necessarily the death of the man. Let our nation take a break from defending truth, justice and the american way.
We need to focus on helping our own people in-house.
That was my immediate thought -
Now let's bring the troops and our money HOME.
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I think it's that and it's finally good news in America (with our dismal moral and economy) and good news from the War on Terror. We finally have an actual victory instead of just limits on our lives like TSA.
ZiggyStardust on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:41am.
Bush's approval ratings spiked when Saddam was finally killed (a much bigger threat that Osama) but they fell pretty sharply when people remembered that they were still unemployed and miserable.
Reality check and an AMEN. We are FUCKED until we grow the hell up. The damned LOONIE is going to overtake the US dollar for fuck's sake.
K2 on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:37am.
Shot in the head and then thrown into the sea? SO fast? When was he actually pronounced dead and who did this "burial"? It would've been nice to see some proof that the SOB is dead ... but I guess we'll just have to take their word on it. Couldnt have come at a better time for Obama.. *sarcasm implied*
Exactly right. Something ain't kosher.
This isn't going to do Obama any good in the long run.
Bush's approval ratings spiked when Saddam was finally killed (a much bigger threat that Osama) but they fell pretty sharply when people remembered that they were still unemployed and miserable.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
ZiggyStardust on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:34am.
And although I'm very critical of Obama, I loved the fact that he timed this to interupt Celebrity Apprentice.
Zigs, you are one of the FEW people on DL that I consider non-delusional, and thusly, I can't farking believe that you think this douchewad used up kleenex of a faux 'president' had enough cajones to take down Osama?
hahahahaha
Fuck no. This twit in the WH is no match for Al-kay-da-bomb-yo-ass.
propaganda. Osama has died years ago, as some have already pointed out.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=636511281
Bin Laden hasn't been running the Al Quada show for years.
His death isn't going to bring troops back any sooner.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
Shot in the head and then thrown into the sea? SO fast? When was he actually pronounced dead and who did this "burial"? It would've been nice to see some proof that the SOB is dead ... but I guess we'll just have to take their word on it. Couldnt have come at a better time for Obama.. *sarcasm implied*
Manimal5 on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:32am.
If Star Jones ends up winning Celebrity Apprentice expect NeNe to do this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuxdudwFeac&feature=related
OMG! LMAO #sheboon
Good morning Fraggle! Personally I don't get the anal either...exit not an entrance!! Trump is a real pig though!!
Fuck you very much. I'm in the throes of an epic hangover from hell.
Want to know my secret? I mean, about who *i* er *I* am?
I think people are celebrating the HOPE that the USA will send the troops home across the board, not necessarily the death of the man. Let our nation take a break from defending truth, justice and the american way.
We need to focus on helping our own people in-house.
That was my immediate thought -
Now let's bring the troops and our money HOME.
Shame on Pakistan for taking our money and housing that criminal.
I can't believe people are out on the streets to celebrate this like New Year.
And although I'm very critical of Obama, I loved the fact that he timed this to interupt Celebrity Apprentice.
Take THAT Donald.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
If Star Jones ends up winning Celebrity Apprentice expect NeNe to do this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuxdudwFeac&feature=related
Good morning Fraggle! Personally I don't get the anal either...exit not an entrance!! Trump is a real pig though!!
Manimal5 on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:18am.
Trump let her come back on the show...he wants to have anal sex with her!!!
Yay USA!!
It's was kinda funny how Obama got even with Trump last night by pre-empting the show before we could find out whose ass got fired!
Honestly, I don't get the whole 'anal' hetero thing? If you want 'anal' then go gay. Women aren't built for 'anal'. My husband tried that on me ONCE and I bled for days and I was in horrible pain from fissures that developed because of said anal sex. The only cure that really worked was clove oil mixed with coconut oil (as a 'carrier' oil) and I was fortunate to heal up.
SOme of you men would fuck a warm vegetable heated up in the microwave, so, basically, I have no respect for most men at all. Sorry, guys. You suck and you SHOULD suck each other.
Submitted by Fraggle on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:17am.
nunya_bizness on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:14am.
Excellent points but I'm still not buying this bullshit. Plus, I don't care how evil a person is, I just don't 'celebrate' death. Call me a softy shit-head but, it makes me sad when somebody's baby turns out evil and we celebrate that shit?
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I am happy he's dead, even if he just was a figurehead of the movement and now has become a martyr for his cause. This doesn't mark the end on the war on terror. Our world had changed forever.
Submitted by zomay on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 1:02am.
Osama died while trying to hand over a copy of President Obama's birth certificate to Glen Beck and Rush Limbo. Glen got suspicious when the certificate appeared to be written in pencil. Osama asked for a bucket of chicken, a lantern for his cave, and shampoo in exchange for the authentic Obama birthing papers.
Now this I believe!!
I personally will never laugh or cheer at someone's death no matter who it is. The whole thing raises more concern to me. The only plus is that Obama will now be given more respect.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 5:39am.
Detective LaToya giggling in the board room???
Trump let her come back on the show...he wants to have anal sex with her!!!
Yay USA!!
It's was kinda funny how Obama got even with Trump last night by pre-empting the show before we could find out whose ass got fired!
nunya_bizness on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:14am.
Excellent points but I'm still not buying this bullshit. Plus, I don't care how evil a person is, I just don't 'celebrate' death. Call me a softy shit-head but, it makes me sad when somebody's baby turns out evil and we celebrate that shit?
Little Miss Manners on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 6:10am.
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
What lil' Miss Said.
*hiccup*
Do you really think that American TV would have showed his body? Leave that to the French. There will be leaks of video or photographs of his death. Don't forget that there are still soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, decorum indicates that images will be revealed on the down low and not officially by the US govt.
Hey, kids! I'm sure if bin Laden is still alive, he'll make another one of his riveting Radio Shack cassette tape recordings!!
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Borrrrrrrrring!
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Submitted by Cowjam on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 4:42am.
Submitted by Infamous on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 2:35am.
"I dont recall Sadaam Heussein getting a traditional burial at sea!!"
As I recall, the bodies of Saddam Hussein and his sons were photographed for posterity. How odd that after all that planning and with all the high-tech equipment that Special Forces and CIA have, not ONE of those guys even had an iPhone with a camera???
Things that make you go hmmmm....
And how the hell can you be buried at sea from Afghanistan??? It is f'ing landlocked!
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The entire attack was in Pakistan, an entirely different country from Afganistan.
Also Sadam Hussain double being killed? Tinfoil hats! He did have other kids that are still alive that the US gov don't want you to know about. He is deffo dead though.
And to someone who said why didn't the US troops have iphones?
Since the Bradley Manning case, nearly all soldiers have had to sign confidentiality agreements and not have any recording software, etc.
Hey, Chris Knight:
SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm sick of your arrogant prattle.
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You're under arrest, sugar!
Mrs Patrick Campbell, thank you for bringing the truth as you see it (and many others) with a twist of sweet gayness. I'm so sick of people not seeing shit with their own eyes even when the stench of lies piles up to their nostrils.
Good on ya for being the reality check goddess that you are.
You know Obama planned his breaking news to cut in on CA..... LOL!
Touche' - Top that The Donald.
Would have liked to have seen the episode, but the news certainly topped it.
That said..... I was really looking forward to watching the tranny train wreck called Nene whoopin' ass like she is somebody. Calling LaToya Casper? She is hateful just to be hateful. Not so amusing anymore.
http://www.prisonplanet.com/media-runs-fake-photo-to-illustrate-bin-lade...
http://www.prisonplanet.com/osama-bin-laden-has-been-dead-for-years.html
Not a fan of Jones, but anyway I give him more credit. Screw official news, screw official mass media. We're lied to on a massive scale. Mind u, some of us are really proud of that. Retards full time!
You can't fight fate.
Detective LaToya giggling in the board room??? MK I do hope you realize some of us traveling in the Amazon with snakes and pyr-rhan-nah fish rely on this site as our primary news outlet when abroad. I thought she be fired B4. Splain.
(the cutest little monkey just stole my coffee cake!)
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Mon, 05/02/201- 2:46am
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*Scratches head*
I didn't know you had a "But seriously," side to your sexy self.
Snarf on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 5:21am.
"Good Riddence to bad rubbish."
Unfortunately, this dick-fuck sired a lot of rubbish to contend with.
misslainey on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 5:15am.
I think a lot of these folks have done gradumated from Det. La Toya's School of Getting to the Bottom of EVERYTHING!
You dastardly explainer of troofs.
Got damn. I'm hungover and I'd love to piss on Osama's watery grave mouf about now.
I'm allergic to alcohol [research: Asian flush], so, I'm doubly retarded for drinking for my barfday. ugh
Good Riddence to bad rubbish.
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Shiitake happens...
Submitted by Cara on Mon, 05/02/2011 - 3:10am.
Who knew there were so many birthers and truthers that also have a penchant for snarky celeb gossip.
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I think a lot of these folks have done gradumated from Det. La Toya's School of Getting to the Bottom of EVERYTHING!