This Is Just Stupid
It's one thing for Beyonce to wrap herself in a gown that looks like it was made using the gilded sperm of Lumiere the Candlestick and the dusty ovaries of Babbette the Feather Duster, but it's another to stuff herself so tight that you can't even walk. Like an elephant dick in a guinea pig condom. Whenever Beyonce drags Jay-Z to events like last night's Costume Institute Gala at The Met, he always looks like those dudes you see holding their chick's purses outside of the ladies room with a perma-grimace on their face. And now she does this to him?!
Jay-Z and a helper had to physically help Beyonce up the stairs into the museum. If it was me, I would've knocked that ho to the floor and rolled her ass up the stairs. When we were getting ready to leave, I would've set up bowling pins at the bottom of the stairs, told Beyonce to hold her breath and then rolled her ass down hoping for a strike!
You can't even think about taking a piss in a satin sausage casing like that dress. If you even twitch your labia a bit, all the seams will come apart and you'd be all sorts of naked. It's not like 4 peons (or pee-ons, I should say) can prop Beyonce up on a toilet and guide-eth thee pee-eth stream down below. Beyonce could not pee. Because she could not pee, she could not drink any kind of booze. Because she could not drink one drop of booze while surrounded by a sea of perfumed assholes, she might as well have been in hell. Although, if you're an asshole amongst assholes, you probably don't care. Beyonce waddling around a museum is never the look.
Anyway, here's a bunch of hos who obviously asked themselves "Should I trip her? Should I trip her?" while Beyonce waddled by. In order (after Beyonce and Jay-Z): Gis Bundchen with a granola gayelle, a neon marker named Brooklyn Decker, Dakota Fanning, Elle Fanning, Salma Hayek, JLo with Skeletor, RiRipunzel, Madge, Fishsticks with Lea Michele, Sarah Jessica Parker with an Andy Cohen photo bomb and the First Lady of New York.
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Submitted by Bizzarelife on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 5:15pm.
Whoa...is Beyonce really 37? I did not know that!
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She's 29, Einstein. Is it really so hard to Google this woman's age?
this is obviously just an occasion for B/C listers, model types, pop singers and random tabloid bitches to have their oscah moment. You dont see Meryl Streep at this shit. What are they doing anyway what are they celebrating.
So, if Beyonce can't bend at the waist, how did she get in the car? Did she come standing up in some sort of Popemobile arrangement or get changed in the toilets when she got there?
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJLoYd8xak&feature=fvwrel
Beyonce always looks like a fat tranny in a gold lame condom.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJLoYd8xak&feature=fvwrel
Submitted by Hotmami on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 5:40pm.
Lea and Gwynnie, sitting in a tree, C-u-n-t-i-n-g.
BWAHAHAHAHA!.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJLoYd8xak&feature=fvwrel
Lea and Gwynnie, sitting in a tree, C-u-n-t-i-n-g.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
She's thoroughly irritating.
Submitted by cmc311 on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 3:02pm.
YES, I remember that episode. And she did it again at the prom when she wore that red southern belle getup and couldn't sit because of the wire in the hem. LOL
Gator needs his gat you punk-ass bitch!
Giselle has no waist, Rihanna needs to get over her "I'm sexy by showing everything and always talking about sex" era, and Beyonce looks ridiculous.
Whoa...is Beyonce really 37? I did not know that!
Her breasts look like they are struggling to get out...like two little piggies fighting each other. I have big ones myself, and it is a golden rule never to pack them that tight. Never looks good.
Beyonce's true age (37 years old) is really starting to show.
Talk about trying too hard...Beyonce is always awful on the red carpet but this is an all-time ridic low. Madonna looks amazing. Perfection.
Just read that Madonna said she felt fat in her dress; someone clearly has some body image issues...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Only one looking decent is Jlo.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Submitted by putas on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 9:45am.
those awful key hole/cut out in the front gowns look so motherfucking cheap. Like Days Inn hooker couture. Is BEYONCEEEEE mad Jennifer Hudson is skinnier now?
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You're probably right; the only thing Beyonce could hold over JHud was a better body and being more popular...now she's losing both!! I love it.
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
not sure if anyone mentioned this but Beyonce reminds me of the episode of 90210 where Donna Martin is dressed as a mermaid for halloween. bitch couldn't even sit down lol
Why does Beyonce do that to herself? If she followed Salma Hayek's lead, she could've owned these trussed-up turkeys without even trying.
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"Even the Duchess of Alba's breasts are sitting down and taking a nap, because they know they got this!" MK, 1/4/11
Yeah, I said it.
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
"When in Rome...hook up with a Black guy"~Lexi, BGC Season 5.
I mean if you can't EVEN walk in it... Dumb.
I hope Elle Fanning is wearing a bra under that! Also, that's some jacked up carpet for such a fancy event!
Beyonce is SO fucking stupid. Who wears something they can't even move in? I wish I could remember where I saw the vid of her being helped up the stairs...looks more ridiculous in motion.
And, I like GP long and lean body.
*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all
Tacky mess. All of them.
What I love about this is that if you look at the Gisele shot, that reporter from Extra, Laura Bush or something, is seated BEHIND white barricaides, like a fucking commoner.
Also that haircut makes Brooklyn Decker look like Charlize Theron's uglier chunkier little sister!
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lajuice.com - Sure people might hate me less, but where's the fun in that?
Submitted by Goldshift on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 12:08pm
Beyoncé isn't from the ghetto, you ignorant racist. She's from the Riverside section of Houston, TX. Idiot.
IM FROM HOUSTON SO I KNOW and i was commenting on how she has no class going up a staircase same goes for take the girl out the country but she is still country inside. Put em in high heels and they wouldn't walk in them if their lives depended on it probably take em off
and calling someone ghetto is not racist now if i called her SOMETHING else about her skin color or ethnicity that's being racist
I like Vadge's dress, but not her make-up. That gooy red clashes with the grey-blue dress. She should have played up her blue eyes with this dress. The red lip makes her look older.
Jblow needs to lose Skeletor, because he makes her look bad. He is the ultimate fashion don't.
Beyonce looks like she is going to a quinsenata (sp) or a Mexican wedding.
I like Rhianna's dress, but not the hair. I think Fishsticks is alright, but boring color. Speaking of color, or lack there of, what's up with all this beige crap? Did color get boycotted at this thing?
SPJ needs to keep the Bravo guy behind her at all times. It is the only interesting thing about her.
They should have made Beyonce Lip-synch for her life LOL She has no personality or taste. For those people calling her ghetto she isn't she's a suburban Texas pageant girl which is so much worse
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I have one thing to say...You Bettah Work.
One day when Beyonce is sitting on the back porch, creaking herself to sleep in one of them fancy asylum suits that passes for fashion fodder, Jay-Z will roll up next to her in his own sperm whale version of utopia quietly nudging inside Beyonce’s inner tresses for a yard of blue horn rope to lasso himself in as he takes his seat next to her…
Don’t you wish you were one of them celebrity bitches too?
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/05/beyonce-knowles-wants-to-tell-yo...
Submitted by ben_dover on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 12:03pm.
that just shows you
You Can Take The Girl Outta The Ghetto, But You Can't Take The Ghetto Outta The Girl.
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Beyoncé isn't from the ghetto, you ignorant racist. She's from the Riverside section of Houston, TX. Idiot.
http://www.fightinmadmary.com/2006/08/beyonces-childhood-home-for-sale_3...
I hope she had to take a shit all night. What a fool.
that just shows you
You Can Take The Girl Outta The Ghetto, But You Can't Take The Ghetto Outta The Girl.
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*
I love Giselle's dress *hides*
I like the Andy Cohen photobomb behind Pony Parker who looks stiff as a board. Like she just found out her husband was a raging gay or something.
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Dark-sided!
With that side braid Rihanna looks just about to milk a cow. With a bell. In the Swiss Alps.
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scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
What the FUCK is that 'high fashion" shit? I saw only TWO dresses worth salivating over, and only if they were in a different color (Salma's is lovely, but it needs to be burgundy., and Freida needs to lose that stupid Avril tie. Lame.)
And I'll say it again. I cannot STAND Lea Michele. Spring Awakening aside, I don't get the fuss over her.
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I'm gonna hit you in the fuckin' face with a FULL wine bottle. CORK. AND. ALL!!!
The majority of them look silly or ridiculous; fashion victims indeed!
Salma Hayek looks pretty good as well as Madonna. The rest of them, not so much. You'd think with all the money and resources they have they could pull off a better look but apparently not.
Salma Hayek owns these other mediocre-looking hos. That's all.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl
I hate to say this but Fishy and Madge look gorgeous! Gorgeous dresses!! Still hate them both. Everyone else looks cheap and tacky except Salma.
that dress must come with a catheter and crystal pee bag sewn in
This b*tch.There's a rumor on the urban sites that the photographers booed her ridiculous ass cause she really couldn't pose while wearing this mess on the red carpet. And the more I look at these pictures of all the C-list celebs the more I'm convinced that this was one of those if you pay you can play events. No one was invited, shell out a couple grand for a plate and you're in!
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
I don't know if Bey-once-twice-three-kinds-of-crazy made Jay-Z hold her purse or not but in the third thumb it DOES look like he is holding her invisible butt plug for her.
Looks like Bouncy needs to wax her tittays! I had to do a triple take at the lacy "pubes" sticking out of her boob area.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 10:03am.
Kiki Dunst was at this thing too. Once again, how do they decide who to invite? Kiki has no work, and no style whatsoever!
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PSL, I HATED her in "Marie Antoinette".
Fishy looks pretty
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
~~~~~~~~~~~Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 9:54am.
How on EARF do these women go to the bathroom?
Simple. Whoopi's secret: Poise.
eta: I'm also loving Vadge's look. It's a Stella McCartney. Stunning.
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now is the time for guts and guile ~ Dame Elizabeth
This bitch is dumber than a fuckin rock!
Oh BeYAWNce if you can't handle and honor the Pucci why bother? Should have just worn one of her mother's tacky cheap ass creations.
RiRi tacky cheap!
Vadge looks like a 1930's eccentric heiress
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Shame, on me.
To need release.
Uncontrollably...
I-I-I wanna go-o-o all the way-ay-ay
taking out my freak tonight.
I-I-I wanna show-o-o all the di-ir-irt
I got going through my mind
Tom Brady looks like such a douchey tool.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
I hate Madonna BUT I am loving her MAGIC dress! Love the color, love the drape, love the material. It's magic because it even has the power to maker her dumb ass look good.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by Few Words on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 10:21am.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 10:15am.
I don't know why people always hate on Gwyneth. I don't like her that much myself but she cleans up well.
YEA SO DOES KID ROCK & HES STILL A DICK
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Ummmm...I have NEVER seen Kid Rock looking clean.
Let's use ummmmm.....hmmmm....how 'bout Gary Busey and he's still crazy....?
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
"When in Rome...hook up with a Black guy"~Lexi, BGC Season 5.
OMG I hope she's choking to death in there.
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
"When in Rome...hook up with a Black guy"~Lexi, BGC Season 5.
Two words: Fashion. Victim.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 10:15am.
I don't know why people always hate on Gwyneth. I don't like her that much myself but she cleans up well.
YEA SO DOES KID ROCK & HES STILL A DICK
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Tom Brady looks fucking stupid. My brother has that same haircut...looks shit on him too lol. I remind him of the fact daily