Out With The Old Baby...

There comes a time in every baby's life when Madonna slips bus fare into his Pull-Ups, packs him a warm bottle for the road and pinches his cheeks while goo-goo-ga-ga-ing out the lyrics to The Power of Goodbye. And that moment has come and went for Baby Brahim. The Daily Mail says that after 9 months together, Madge has sent hip-hop dancer Brahim Zaibat back to his native playpen. It wasn't their 28 year age difference that did it. It was their constant fights about their different spiritual beliefs. Baby Brahim follows the Muslim way and Madge is strictly on the red string, so it was never going to work.

A friend of Brahim's says that he's back in France and isn't shedding any tears over his split from Madge, "Brahim’s family had told him they did not want him going to Kabbalah meetings and wanted him to stick to his Muslim beliefs, which caused some rows. Things started to turn sour and they were hardly seeing each other. Brahim has been home and he’s a single guy. He’s no longer an item with Madonna. He’s very happy. There’s nothing more to say."

So as Madge leaves a trail of animal crackers from a South American nursery to the front of her cauldron to nab another baby, Baby Brahim is pawing at the place on his peen where his foreskin was before she ripped it off with her bare claws like she did with Guy's. But good fucking riddance to Brahim! I'm sure he was slowly creeping up to the age where he started to learn how to talk back and who wants to be around that? Just like I said there comes a time in every baby's life where Madge dumps them, there also comes in a time in every slut's life where they want to stop talking and get on a hot piece! Or in Madge's case, only talk about herself to a mute hot piece before getting on said hot piece.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 10:17pm.

I wouldn't be surprised if all of these kids signed agreements with Madge, I don't even think she wants sex with them.

I think she just wants to be with super young guys to make herself seem young and relevant.

I bet they don't even do IT.

Think about Cher, she went through this stage, too, and when is the last time she has been seen with a boyfriend?

She has decided to remain alone rather than step out with a wrinkled, bald-headed prune, thereby affirming her senior-citizen status.

Same with Madonna, I would suspect.

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GERONIMO!

Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 10:01pm.

I wonder if she dumped him at the very second the Navy SEALS pumped the bullet into Osama?

She considers herself a NY'er, after all.

__________________________________
GERONIMO!

Submitted by Centaurious on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 9:15pm.

Good old Madge...

If those walls could talk.

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GERONIMO!

Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 6:35pm.

If he's Muslim he's circumcised anyway.
They don't usually have it done when the child is an infant but at around 3 or 4 years old.

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Submitted by becky n sydney on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 4:04pm.

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 4:07am.
Vadge is an annoying old bag size-queen.
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This is one of the very few times where I completely agree with you, Mrs Patrick Campbell.

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 11:13am.

Submitted by Richiegay on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 11:47am.
Puleeeze,,, Madonna has surely handled more uncut pork in her life the the butchers at Piggly Wiggly.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
...............
"One night when they were parting she handed him a gift in a sheet of folded paper and whispered a few words in Irish. This was her way of saying she was his."

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 10:58am.

We hunger for hot young arab/pakastani sizemeat, yet it seems un-available.

Discuss.

Submitted by Richiegay on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 10:17am.

Puleeeze,,, Madonna has surely handled more uncut pork in her life the the butchers at Piggly Wiggly.

Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 9:31am.

Maybe he just got tired of having his nuts in a vise.

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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl

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Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 8:56am.

Submitted by TimC on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 9:55am.
I don't think Muslims do circumcision on babies. They do it when the are older boys. Or at least that's how they did it in a few foreign movies I've seen where the little boys line up and get their dicks cut by some religious guy.
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Don't believe the movies. Most Muslims do circumcision right after birth. There are a few cultures here and there who, because of their cultural (and not religious) norms, wait until the boys are 2-3 years old, but I have never, ever seen anyone do it on a child older than that.

Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 8:40am.

Submitted by FilthyBitch on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:05pm.
Puhlez - this was the blind item about how he was openly gay before their relationship started, and how he was trying to hide his relationship to Madonna at first because he had a boyfriend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ah, hmmm, you're right! She's either using these rentboys as covers for a real relationship or she's just a frigid, psycho bitch who doesn't enjoy sex anymore, yet still wants to create scandal/intrigue about her life. Wonder which one it is? ;-P

She'd have to know he was gay-- people like Madonna don't date their underlings without doing SOME sort of investigative work first (Even if it's just your Personal Assistant Facebooking him!!)

He probably had to cancel the contract because the press would reveal he was actually gay. If you had a strict religious family, there is no amount of money worth them finding out via tabloids.

Submitted by TimC on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 8:25am.

"And if he is Muslim, his foreskin was probably cut when he was born...Vadge did not have the pleasure to rip it of with her teef."
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I don't think Muslims do circumcision on babies. They do it when the are older boys. Or at least that's how they did it in a few foreign movies I've seen where the little boys line up and get their dicks cut by some religious guy. And then the family back home throws a big feast to celebrate the event, and everyone lines up to congratulate the miserable little boy lying in a bed in the middle of the part, writhing in horrible pain.

Also, circumcision does not always mean total removal of the foreskin. It started out just removing the top part, but as the Jews started trying to restore their foreskins to look more like Romans and Greeks, the rabbis changed the requirement to total removal. So I don't know if Muslims do the total removal or just the tip.

So there might have been some left for Madonna to rip off. Also, for Jews and Jew-wannabes like Madonna, if the circumcision isn't done by a Jew in the right ceremony, it doesn't even count.

Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 8:11am.

Wow, this news is so thrilling and heartwrenching whatever will she or he do now without one another I am truly devasted *yawn*.

♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8

Submitted by boston61 on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 7:58am.

She is a jerk. The female Donal Trump. WTF, does she have against men her own age? She is a sad freak.

Submitted by NativeNYker on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 7:49am.

Good riddance... She can do better & def younger.

xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://rantsthoughtsmerde.com/2011/05/08/salma-hayek-launching-cheap-ass...

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 7:36am.

Submitted by Chris Knight on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 7:33am.
So the contract ended and the "lovers" had to end their "relationship too. OK, I got it... Nice lie: they broke up because of their different views on religion. LOL...
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Yeah it seems Brahim didn't want to leave Islam to worship Madonna.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Bo on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 7:16am.

A few years gone past, I restored a 1965 Mustang. I think Madonna has had more restoration than that rusty old car.

Submitted by Chris Knight on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 6:03am.

So the contract ended and the "lovers" had to end their "relationship too. OK, I got it... Nice lie: they broke up because of their different views on religion. LOL...

Submitted by i_will_not_holla on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 4:06am.

Jesus Luz is now a spokesperson for an online shoe shop in Germany:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpQnYutUIMA

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 2:37am.

Vadge is an annoying old bag size-queen.

Submitted by dementa on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 2:20am.

Submitted by whatyagonnado on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 10:53pm.

Uh, since when do little kids know a religion inside and out because they go to church every now and then? Try thinking, bigot.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 12:08am.

Haha, she circumcised Guy!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 11:22pm.

god, hilair post *wiping eyes*

vadge has been pure foolishness since middle age, i.e. forever. as she grows even older i hope she realizes the Hef thing is out and Betty White is in.

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 9:58pm.

Submitted by whatyagonnado on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 10:53pm.
Madonna always went after Catholicism because it was what she was raised with. She knows that horrible religion inside and out.

I'd rather be a Catholic than devoted to Madonna.

...............
"One night when they were parting she handed him a gift in a sheet of folded paper and whispered a few words in Irish. This was her way of saying she was his."

Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 9:31pm.

CORRECTION: It's Morgan Fucking Fairchild....aight?

Submitted by whatyagonnado on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 9:24pm.

BTW, this is The Daily Fail. The story is completely fabricated, but it's still funny.

Submitted by whatyagonnado on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 9:23pm.

No, it was a Jew and a Muslim in her concert, idiot!

Madonna always went after Catholicism because it was what she was raised with. She knows that horrible religion inside and out.

And BTW, Christians have sent death threats to Madonna since day one. They've burned her in effigy for years, warning that they were going to kill her, and her kids.

Lastly, Muslims are circumcised, Michael K.

"Islam is of course the one religion she's terrified to touch. In one concert she supposedly had a Jew and a Christian figures on stage doing something or other. You know all those current Jew/Christian conflicts."

Submitted by SpiceDong on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 8:08pm.

She has cone bras older than him.

And if he is Muslim, his foreskin was probably cut when he was born...Vadge did not have the pleasure to rip it of with her teef.

And 9 months? seems like it was just yesterday that she picked him up from a basket left at her front porch.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnAQRodZNp0

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

Submitted by zomay on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 8:04pm.

9 months!? Hell, MeeMee Carey's pregnancy lasted 24 months.

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TheBreakdown on Sat, 04/09/2011 - 2:28pm.
Why even go to college these days?
Just suck cock on cam, get pissed on for YouTube, learn Trickonics as your main language, and wear a slut dress every day....

Submitted by Goathead on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 7:30pm.

Who?!

Submitted by dementa on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 7:13pm.

Submitted by LoCoJo on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 8:13pm.

I would not be shocked if she was doing it already. Certainly her mom's boytoys are way closer in age to her than to her mom.

Either way, it's just a matter of time.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 7:43pm.
Well, that's not the religion for me. I want the option of repeatedly punching people in the face.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by letinstar on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 6:55pm.

What happened? Did the boy toy lie about being 24 when he's really 25?
___________________________________________
Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...

Submitted by LoCoJo on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 6:43pm.

I can't wait for the day when Lourdes snatches one of her mom's hot pieces right out from under her.

Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 6:18pm.

Somewhere....in a 2,000th floor perfectly planted penthouse in Paris, France....with Brody Jenner manservants feeding her truffle oil reduction goat cheese-infused hors douvres...Morgan Fairchild is wetting herself whilst laughing at this shit.....in satin sheets....most deservedly.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 6:13pm.

Submitted by Stan Dup on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 7:27pm.
I heard that being a Quaker is a good religion because it's almost like anything goes.
"""""""""""""""
Except fighting - they are always the 'concientious objectors' during wartime.

Submitted by heathen on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 6:12pm.

I'm sorry, but I don't even think the sex would be that "great" -- no offense to the 18 to 26 year-olds out there, but "good in bed" is just not in their repertoire. They'll get better (hopefully), but in their 20s they just aren't. Being cute, having a hot bod & having lots of people who want to have sex with you, doesn't make you good in bed. Sure, young men may have tons of stamina, but that alone doesn't make them good in bed. A person has a long way to go before they can claim "good in bed" as one of their talents.

Submitted by Stan Dup on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:57pm.

I heard that being a Quaker is a good religion because it's almost like anything goes.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:54pm.

Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 7:13pm.
She used it for her monthly vadge overhaul, Jo Mama.
**********
*crying* What's that? No! Don't tell me!

************
Imparfait

Submitted by guest on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:47pm.

I'm sure he was slowly creeping up to the age where he started to learn how to talk back and who wants to be around that?

*********

Lofl.

"as am I..."

Submitted by Stan Dup on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:43pm.

Couldn't they both just pick a religion that they both could agree on?

Submitted by dementa on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:35pm.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 6:50pm.

Dunno why, it would be a lot more scandalous than "Look! I'm doing sexy sexy stuff with crosses! Like I've been doing for twenty years! BE SHOCKED, DAMMIT!"

Then again, Vadge only tries to scandalize religions that don't run around killing anyone who pisses them off. I guess she's chicken to scandalize the Muslims.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:22pm.

Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 6:48pm.
Hahaha! Native playpen! I think she discarded Brahim Jailbait because she harvested all the stem cells she could out of him. That ought to keep her skin supple for a couple of days.
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Not to mention what MK says she did to his foreskin.

OUCHIE!!!!!

************
Imparfait

Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:43pm.

She used it for her monthly vadge overhaul, Jo Mama.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:20pm.

Islam is of course the one religion she's terrified to touch. In one concert she supposedly had a Jew and a Christian figures on stage doing something or other. You know all those current Jew/Christian conflicts.

Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:18pm.

Hahaha! Native playpen! I think she discarded Brahim Jailbait because she harvested all the stem cells she could out of him. That ought to keep her skin supple for a couple of days.

Submitted by Sayonara on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:08pm.

Who will be the next "BoyToy"?

"Friday the 13th I'm a play Jason"

Submitted by TimC on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 4:44pm.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 05/07/2011 - 5:41pm.

I just imagined Vadge having a meaningful conversation on the "evils" of Islam with a pink, glittery Rampant Rabbit.
_______________________________

As if! If only Madonna had that much personality. And for more if only, have those been around 24 years?

But that does bring back fond memories of Alexyss Taylor telling her mother about the Jackrabbit vibrator hitting those walls, working the middle..it's on fire!