Raise Your Hand If You Hate Your Feet!

Senorita Caca made Mexico City the first stop on her worldwide promo tour for “Born This Way” and made it clear to her forever tortured nipples and ankles that it’s going to be a long couple of weeks. I used to think that the easiest way of clearly telling your feet you hate them was to put them under Rex Ryan’s tongue, but I take it all back. If you’re mad at your feet, take a page out of this assholito’s torture book by strapping them into a pair of dominatrix clown shoes. Seriously, Caca’s feet and nipples must have done some evil, dark-sided, cunterous shit in their past lives to be treated this way. The US is about to add “threaten to dress prisoner up like Lady Gaga for two hours” to their list of torture techniques.

But the biggest illegal act here isn’t the rockabilly skunk wig or the fact that she’s suffocating her nipples. No. It’s the fact that she hid her eyebrows and made it look like they don’t even exist! Can’t Mexico charge her with brownapping? Or something!