What Hell Hath Cheryl Cole Wrought?!
When Cheryl Cole landed in L.A. this weekend, she brought with her a teased and sprayed mane of hair that should only be worn by the stars of Valley of the Dolls and Texas child beauty queens whose moms have yet to retire the Revo Styler. Well, Cheryl Cole has infected every hairstylist's teaser brush and created a trend! Looking like the product of a down low love affair between Aslan the Great Lion and a minotaur, Sarah Jessica Parker showed up to the Robin Hood Foundation Benefit in NYC last night with a whole lot of NAY on top of her head.
Normally, I'm into hair that makes a ho look like she's trying to steal Falcon Crest from Jane Wyman, but SJP is not doing it. It looks like a badly glued on wig that's just itching to be turned all the way around. Just think of how many holes in the ozone layer were formed because SJP's stylist (who obviously hates her) wanted to take her to an unholy level of fug. Mission accomplished.
And SJP wasn't the only barnyardigan who should've stayed home last night. Gisele Bundchen nearly broke her cheek bones from posing so hard, but little does she know that a beautiful ostrich creature in a white bra stole the shot from her.
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She looks silly, but SJP has never looked better!
I think the real problem is you can tell someone talked her into this hair and she's not feeling it. She looks very like she's feeling very self-conscious. *shrugs* I'm in the 'I don't mind her because she works hard and seems decent enough' crowd, too. *double shrug*
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
Great impression of King Tut!
Dogface and Horsehead together - throw in Kim K and her shetland pony arse and you've got the full farmyard.
"Gisele Bundchen nearly broke her cheek bones from posing so hard" I laughed out loud at that!
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I don't think she's ugly, she's just unconventional looking. That color looks nice with her skin/eyes. And I like that hair - even if it kinda reminds me of the Janice Rossi character in Goodfellas.
...Great, now I can't get Loraine Bracco's shrieking voice outta my head "Janice Rossi is a HOAH! Ya've got a HOAH livin' in ya building!"
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah....I cannot continue to go site to site defending this. But still, any woman should understand. There comes a brief moment in all of our lives when we scream, OMG...WTF was I thinking? Did I really think that looked good?"
Again, I cannot continue to defend you SJP but I'm on your side.
You know what would compliment her hair...? A feed bag...
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Of course,
Of f**ken course..
Yes! The bigger the better I say!
Saw SJP in an older movie the other day and she didn't look that bad. What happened to her and when did it happen? I can't add anything about the atrocious hairdo but I'm lmao @ all the comments.
SJP's hairdo kind of looks like the contraption that Tom Hanks used to sail away from the island in "Castaway."
I wonder who in the fuck told her that this a good look for her, Arnold fucking Schwaraneger! Geezus bitch, lose the look!
I actually think this is an improvement for SJP. I think the over-the-top hair actually softens her (HARSH) face a little.... since she's obviously NEVER going to give up that eyeliner.
i don't blame her hair for not wanting to be seen with her.
SJP, still ugly after all these years.
Submitted by boston61 on Tue, 05/10/2011 - 12:08pm.
Giselle has an ugly neck. Yuck. Why do women tend to have ugly necks? Sarah should stay home and care for the babies she bought.
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....and here we are, another brilliant statement from our resident moron, boston 61.
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I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I'm surprised SJP didn't go with the more traditional braided mane.
Giselle Bundchen looks too Achtung! when she slicks her hair back and gobs on the red lipstick. She conjures a transvestite Rolf from "The Sound of Music" (which would have spiced things up considerably). And she has ugly ears.
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Hand me my shank.
Gis is looking very hard for only being 30.
Giselle has an ugly neck. Yuck. Why do women tend to have ugly necks? Sarah should stay home and care for the babies she bought.
SJP is what happens when a woman looks in the mirror and fails to recognize her flaws. In SJP her entire face is a flaw. How in the hell did she walk out of her house and no one tell her she looks like an ass?
My Little Pony is such a fashion victim. Her enormous success mystifies me. And anyone who thinks Gisele is ugly is either blind or stupid. She may be a lot of things, but ugly isn't one of them.
Giselle never looks happy. She looks very controlling and uptight. Relax.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Awful dress, awful hair...awful clutch....awful material on dress - awful everything.
Why does SJP think that having dark hair looks good on her? Even though it might be her natural shade, she just looks better in blonde. The dark makes her look 15 years older than she is. She looks like a fucking hag.
..
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
I love big hair, but I don't love this bride of Frankenstein business SJP has on her head.
I love me some Gisele, but lately she has began to annoy me.
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Really, in the near future most of the population will be directly related to KFed, Lil' Wayne or a Duggar. We're doomed. -MK
That hair only works on Julie Newmar's Catwoman.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
SJP looks like a truck stop waitress.
wow. not a good look :(
Submitted by guest on Tue, 05/10/2011 - 9:51am.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 05/10/2011 - 9:28am.
.. patiently waiting for Jessica Simpson's green sweater and no pants ensemble to show up in the 'WTF is this outfit' thread ..
Google it. has to be seen to be believed.
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Sweartagawd I think she wore that sweater during Newlyweds WITH jeans.
"as am I..."
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probably did :D It said in one article, that she has been (over)wearing that thing all over the place.. reminds me of the sweater Scotty used to wear on the Little Rascals..
I'm from Texas so I loe big hair but this!? The entire top/front is matted in hairspraiy. It really is a helmet of hair. Wonder how man pieces she stuck in there to get it that big.
she's a woman who has great hair, and should use it to flatter her face. meaning, DON'T wear your hair OFF your face.
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I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll.
No longer riding on the merry-go-round.
I just had to let it go.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 05/10/2011 - 10:22am.
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eewwwww sorry. day behind on shit. :(
The popularity of SJP will forever be a mystery to me. No talent. No looks. I just don't get it.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
"Streisand Way We Were" hair. Love it. Babs looked her best ever in that movie.
E.T called, he wants his neck back...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Of course,
Of f**ken course..
I guess I'm the only one in these parts who finds Giselle beautiful. I think she's got really striking bone structure.
SJP doesn't bother me one way or another. Her hair is ridic, but I don't think she's an unattractive woman. If she weren't a celebrity, nobody would say that she's hideous.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
MK posted about Jessucka's sweater in yesterday's crumbs
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
@ WTFOMGLOL
Hahaha, thanks for gofugyourself alert! Jessica Simpson's green sweater is all over the net, I hope MK posts it.
http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2011/startracks/110523/jessica-simpson-...
Leopard print bag, blue platforms and big hair are fine finishing touches.
I am all for 'smoke and mirrors' hotness as long as it is noted for what it is.
Having said that, I think SJP has a look that she (usually) does not veer far from and that works for her. However, she is no beauty, but she certainly is not ugly.
Gisele?
She needs to get on her knees (again) and thank her PR team for consistently tricking the general public into believing she is hot. She is by FAR the fugliest "supermodel" ever.
E V E R!
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Her handler could weave ribbons in that mane and it wouldn't make a difference.
This makes us want to get our "falls" out and do a "Valley of the Dolls" revival....Love, Blanche and Jane Hudson.
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
Gis Bundchen needs to darken her eyebrows a leetle bit, and then she could star in the next Mommie Dearest remake. Gah, she terrifies.
I like SJP and agree that she has beautiful eyes. She also has not plastic- surgeried her face into Horrorville. If one bad hair style and an improbably long face are the worst you can say, well, I'll call that a success.
Not the look for her.. Make her face look even more horsey.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snowy YOU ASS!
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 05/10/2011 - 9:28am.
.. patiently waiting for Jessica Simpson's green sweater and no pants ensemble to show up in the 'WTF is this outfit' thread ..
Google it. has to be seen to be believed.
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Sweartagawd I think she wore that sweater during Newlyweds WITH jeans.
"as am I..."
Big Dynasty hair, fuck yeah!!!!
Her look is good news for all the bitches out there with naturally coarse, wavy, poofy hair -- such as Gwyneth. They can finally retire their flat irons. The rest of the world is wringing their hands in despair.
All the years of long, straight, flatironed hair are done...like everything, the pendulum always swings back the other way eventually.
Where's my Ogilvie home perm box and extra large size can of Aqua Net???
(ps. I am another who doesn't see the massive ugly in SJP. But for full disclosure, I'm also another long horse faced type so I empathize with her.)
NO. Just No.
LOL at "Valley of the Dolls." Yep, all the stars and Jacqueline Susann.
Giselle's face is never appealing to me. It's just not striking. She's not hideous but I wouldn't stare at her face in a beauty ad in awe.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 05/10/2011 - 8:42am.
Please don't bring 80s hair back!
BANANA CLIPS AND AQUA NET FOR EVERYONE!!!!
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Tue, 05/10/2011 - 8:42am.
Please don't bring 80s hair back!
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I'm thinking this is technically Valley of the Dolls hair because it doesn't have those 80s bangs, right? On a sad 80s note, one friend told me she saw stirrup pants while shopping with her daughter, and another friend's daughter bought "fairy" boots (short, cuffed, often suede) that were worn with stirrup pants. Ugh.
I'm hoping the 80s hair with perm & bangs doesn't come back because if you have straight silky hair it takes a hours to get your hair that big, shaped, and stiff enough to hold. Not to mention that you have to travel everywhere with a large can of hair spray (purse-size won't help) everywhere.