CPS Visits The Butterfly Rainbow Kingdom Over Booze

When Baby Morocco and Baby Monroe emerged from Mimi's crystallized womb of pink amniotic fluid, a nurse at the hospital told her to drink half of a dark Guinness to get her titties lactating. After Mimi did it, somebody snitched her out to Department of Children and Family Services. Social workers from the DCFS paid Mimi a visit in the hospital, but quickly realized that some unicorn hater was obviously trying to make a story out of nothing for the tabloids. Put a sparkly sunshine sticker over that Lisa Frank folder, because the case is closed! But not really.

TMZ reports that DFCS paid Mimi another visit at her home today. Yes, they are investigating Mimi over drinking a stupid fucking beer when they are missing the real act of abuse. Mimi played one of her songs during labor. Now that is the real shit that will screw a newborn up.

According to TMZ's source, social workers interviewed Mimi and a few others at the house. They monitored Mimi with her twins and poked around the house. After all of that, they declared that Mimi is a fit mother and the twins are in a healthy environment. The case is now really closed.

Yes, it was all kinds of ridiculous for Child Services to waste their time and money investigating Mimi over a Guinness when across town a toddler is probably getting beat in the head with a Guinness, but at least I learned something from this. I did not know that Guinness makes your nipples squirt leche. Now I can tell my friends that the milky white discharge spilling out of my nipples isn't from some kind of chest Chlamydia (Warning: do not tap your nipples with peens you don't know). I'm just lactating from drinking too much Guinness!

Posted by: Michael K

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CPS Is On Line One • Dumbasses • Mariah Carey

Submitted by Meowrr on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 5:15pm.

I just can't imagine these two doing anything to harm their babies. I've come across the type of jealous bitch that would make a false accusation like this, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were right in Mimi's inner circle. Hire a P.I. and find that ho, lol.

Submitted by kndall44 on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 1:32pm.

I was thinking about this last night ironically.

How serious it is for CPS to visit you in the maternity ward, was it for drugs?

Then again, Nick reminds me a lot of our dealers hanging out in downtown.

Submitted by yoboo on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 8:52am.

There is definitely something off about this story. CPS does NOT investigate about a new mom drinking a beer. Someone inside the house must have reported her for something else. Or maybe she was on some meds or something while pregnant. While I think Mariah is batshit crazy and shouldn't be raising any kids, I take solace that she is filthy rich and nannies will be raising her kids. Hopefully, good ones.

http://mycashdragon.com/?id=1230

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 8:15am.

As much as I dislike Mooriah. This CPS shit over her having a beer is ridiculous.

ONE BEER, even if it's every day isn't going to harm the kids.

Jesus fuck.

Submitted by grapesoder on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 7:41am.

So CPS can just come in your house and "investigate" you without a fucking warrant or something?

This is ten stages of fucked up, and if I were Mimi, I'd be suing CPS and giving all the money I won, plus a matching donation, to a charity for abused kids.

Submitted by mestrekamura on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 7:23am.

poses lik a diva!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeJEsH5Xm4o

Submitted by mestrekamura on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 7:23am.

poses lik a diva!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeJEsH5Xm4o

Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 5:45am.

Holy Shit. Was the person who told Mimi that my English grandmother? She said women were told to drink Guinness after having a baby to strengthen them up!

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twerk those stumps!

Submitted by kathleenvh on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 5:41am.

omg mk omg

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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK

Submitted by Miss Thang on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 5:34am.

Someone close to her must really hate her ass. This sucks hard:(

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I like living this way. I like loving this way.

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 5:34am.

wonder if my former sister in law was the one who called child services since she has them on speed dial and she calls them all the time on me. I have her son in my foster care now for 4 years.

It really annoys me that folks like that crazy bat shit bitch can use the manpower to go after absurd claims yet children are DYING out there from neglect!!!

Annoying that workers are going over to Mimi's house. Head over to where the need is greater.. kids are fucking getting beat and starved to death and they have time to pursue this SHIT!

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by Bowchickawawa on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 5:24am.

Why would CPS do that thorough an inspection, based on one phone call regarding 1/2 a beer being consumed by a potentially nursing mom? We don't know for sure that Mimi is nursing. Personally, I have no clue if Mimi chose the boob or the bottle for her babes. With twins, the boob can often lose out to the bottle. Mimi's implants present another challenge as well. Anywho...something in the milk ain't clean with this story. Either CPS was not involved and the story is fabricated completely or they were there for reasons besides 1/2 a Guiness.

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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i

Submitted by Granny Clampett on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 4:47am.

What do you want to bet Gloria Alred is the one who phoned Child Services. Of course I'm sure she'd be in front of the cameras basking in the attention if she did, so maybe not....Way to ruin Mariah's joy, fucktard (whoever you are)

"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West

Submitted by Daniee on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 4:04am.

I've taken Hops extract for a nervous stomach, i.e runs before exams....it has a lot of B Vitamins & Potassium which soothes the tummy and the nerves! I think with the alcohol added, it would just put me to sleep though.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 3:34am.

I think Mimi is eccentric and gave her babies horrible names, but this seems like a total waste of CPS's time.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

Submitted by Cowjam on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 3:33am.

What state does she live in? NY or California? I cannot believe that CPS would investigate a multimillionaire, with an army of trained nannies. Then they have the nerve to say that they don't have the manpower to investigate REAL cases of child abuse?

Submitted by joanne on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 3:02am.

I was also told to drink dark beer for richer milk. Who is pissed off at her?

Submitted by guest on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 2:52am.

That is beyond ridiculous.

"as am I..."

Submitted by sonne on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 11:18pm.

Sounds like someone(s) in DFCS wanted to see the inside of Mimi's house. Shit, go after the real assholes as already said so eloquently.

Submitted by lilmoomoo on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:42pm.

My pediatrician told my mom to drink some beer to get lactating. That's nothing new. People need to calm down!

Submitted by azgirl on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:35pm.

So was she giving the babies the alcohol in a bottle, is that way CPS showed up? Last time I checked an adult can have a drink in front of a newborn.
Meanwhile, a dozen little kids were being really abused by their parents while CPS was wasting time with this shit.

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:29pm.

So neither Mariah, nor Nick or that nurse were able to convince that person from DFCS - a trained professional - that the Guinness was merely for lactation purposes? Either he or she was really thick, or there was something else going on that aroused suspicion at the time.

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Who are you calling silly cow?

Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:52pm.

Poopele on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 10:06pm.

Maybe Malt Liquor would make it taste more like milk shakes?

Actually, "Malt" and "Liquor" spelled as, "Mawlt" and "Liqueuuur" would make awesome twin names for just about anyone who loves to lactate!

Submitted by Poopele on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:36pm.

Maybe Malt Liquor would make it taste more like milk shakes?

Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:32pm.

VulVaJaMes on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:47pm.

I find mariah completely disgusting.

Huh? Like what? Her obsession with pastels and sparkly things and butterflies? Her princess complex? The not-of-this world high-notes she sings that even piss off the aliens and bumble bees? Etc. ad nausem stuff?

I imagine she makes that same face whilst sucking dick.
Honest to gosh I could think of a million worse faces for someone to make whilst sucking dick...like...THIS 'UN:
http://www.riprenfield.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/017-sour-puss-face...

To make matters worse, the room probably smells like cotton candy during fellatio.

Are you kidding me? One of my newly minted sex fantasies would totally be playing "pervert Candyland" in a room that smells like cotton candy! Of course, this is coming from someone who was obsessed with the smell of her daughter's Strawberry shortcake doll. Yum. :D

Submitted by VulVaJaMes on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:17pm.

I find mariah completely disgusting. I imagine she makes that same face whilst sucking dick. To make matters worse, the room probably smells like cotton candy during fellatio.

Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:04pm.

MudTurtle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:44pm.

Been there. Crying right along with ya.

Glad I'm not the only one. We can be thankful our faces didn't get stretch-marked though, right? :)

colt13 on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 9:03pm.

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Adolf-Hitler-Sisters-Taken-fro...

You must not know the story of Little Adolf.

That's right! I totally forgot about that. I think that's even beyond cruel and bordering on evil. :(

Submitted by colt13 on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:33pm.

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Adolf-Hitler-Sisters-Taken-fro...

You must not know the story of Little Adolf.
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Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:39pm.

christine the hoff on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:22pm.

Take the kids away from her, legally re-name then robert and jane or something normal, then give them back.

Has anyone ever named their child something really cruel like "Asshole" or "Cunt" and would that even be LEGAL?

Submitted by putas on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:24pm.

Yeah conaway seemed a good soul but really fighting demons. I only saw the rehab clips on sites like this..can't even watch that (or intervention) on a regular basis makes me feel creepy. I do not want to watch people fight monsters in their heads for entertainment. Depresses me.

Howdare you, true ..all of it. Nanny state stuff sucks.

Submitted by howdareyou on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:27pm.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:23pm.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:18pm.

I have no idea what the laws are in fruity calif., but I have an ironclad DNR that nobody can dispute.
fuck me if I'm sticking around after my brain quits.
_________________________________

I'm nowhere near California, but my family ran into DNR troubles with my father about 15 years ago. He had a DNR on file with a local hospital from a prior stay, but when he was admitted into the ER and my mother was kept in the waiting room, he was put on a ventilator. When my mother protested, the ER doctor said his job was to save lives, not check the paperwork. Of course, back in those days, once on a ventilator, the hospital set policies and could keep the patient on a vent despite any family wishes, DNRs, medical POAs. Following this incident, a relative with cancer joked that they might have to have his DNR order tattooed to his chest.

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When I was crazy I thought you were great

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:18pm.

"Submitted by TOPANGA on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:14pm.

These two just seem so "off" together. She looks like a "cool" inner city high school teacher who took a student under her wing aka starting banging him, and now they are "together fo-eva" *rolls eyes*"

The Modern Day version of this:

http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2006/features/magstories/060515/letourn...
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by howdareyou on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:15pm.

The last I heard, it's still legal to choose not to breastfeed, so even if MooMoo drank an entire case of beer it's presumptive for CPS to investigate as if she is feeding her kids alcohol via nursing.

The truth is, it does not take a village to raise a child. Couples raise children without government intervention all the time, and often single women have successfully cared for and reared decent human beings. It's a fucking shame that good parents have to worry about some government entity scrutinizing every slight or perceived parental imperfection, just because of the few fuck-up parents.

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When I was crazy I thought you were great

Submitted by MudTurtle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:14pm.

Mine were like that when my boobs grew 3 sizes. *cries* Amazingly, once my boobs went back to my regular size [read: b-cups]...so did my nipples but the stretch-marks will always be there. *cries again*

Been there. Crying right along with ya.

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Well-behaved women rarely make history

Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:09pm.

christine the hoff on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:22pm.

Take the kids away from her, legally re-name then robert and jane or something normal, then give them back.

Shaniqua and Bunifa would just like to give you a PSA:

Dats raaaaacist, gurllllll

What is a 'normal' name any more?

Has anyone ever named their child something really cruel like "Asshole" or "Cunt" and would that even be LEGAL?

ETA: I was joking about the 'racist' part btw. lol

Dayum.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:53pm.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:18pm.

I have no idea what the laws are in fruity calif., but I have an ironclad DNR that nobody can dispute.
fuck me if I'm sticking around after my brain quits.

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What a friend I have in jesus, I can say that
honestly. He's not like all my other friends who really don't care about me.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:52pm.

Take the kids away from her, legally re-name then robert and jane or something normal, then give them back.
I don't recall drinking beer whilst nursing my kids, but I do remember downing shitloads of water, milk and juice.

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What a friend I have in jesus, I can say that
honestly. He's not like all my other friends who really don't care about me.

Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:50pm.

Crustyina Fagulera. on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:13pm.

Ugh the thought of Mimoo's utters in both those brats' mouths send chills throughout my body.

Don't hate, hate, hate on the silly-cone milk shake!

I bet her nipples are the size of fucking Denny's Grandslams.

Submitted by Crustyina Fagulera. on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:43pm.

Ugh the thought of Mimoo's utters in both those brats' mouths send chills throughout my body.

I bet her nipples are the size of fucking Denny's Grandslams.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:48pm.

wrong thread. Dickslap me NOW

right thread after all..

Jeff`s nutty fiance is trying to stop the whole taking of life-support thing right now.. She says she has a Power of Attorney to stop it.... That bitch is beyond retarded. I have never encountered two people that are soooo wrong for each other as these two are. Let the family decide, at least they dont seem to be high on painpills all day long.

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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs

Submitted by elmo533 on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:39pm.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:17pm.

seriously, it is more abusive to name your child an adjective. CPS should take a look into that!

Moroccan. Moroccan! Fucking idiots.

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I KNOW!!! Let's just say for shits and giggles that you do want to name your child after a room in you house (Jesus help us all); just call the kid Morocco. Was she afraid she'd forget why she named him that? Sometimes I feel Mimi should be on her own season of Teen Mom, evn though she's in her 40's.

Hell, if Mimi had her own reality show I think I might watch that shit.

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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK

Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:36pm.

Submitted by putas on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 8:04pm.
Off topic: jeff conaway's family unplugged his life support today.sad. awful he is on celeb rehab now its eerie. Daily mail article

That's too sad...at least he's not suffering the addiction anymore.

*Travolta's tear-ridden statement in 3...2...*

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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele

Submitted by putas on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:34pm.

Off topic: jeff conaway's family unplugged his life support today.sad. awful he is on celeb rehab now its eerie. Daily mail article

Ot: this is nuts. I had my kids in austin hospital and the nurse said we could put our champagne post baby celbrate stuff in the ice machine in the maternity ward kitchen. I wS surprised but still hid the glass I had when staff came in my room since I do not trust anyone and heard tbhat CPS in texas is no joke. Apparently they will really take a kid for any reason! Don't want to find out.

Hekki did your daughter call cps on you guys? Kids over react. How did you guys not have a heartattack? Even though nothing was warranted still..just having them show up! Scary

Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:33pm.

mike on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:51pm.

Can't it be both?

You would have to grow man boobs so you could suckle your own...or am I getting ahead of myself, you kinky perv? Milking yourself is a total PITA...well, for women anyway. I know they make 'other' types of milking devices for men but that's off-topic. ;)

It makes me laugh when people actually get all grossed out over human breast-milk but will drink the milk of animals meant for ANIMALS. Major WTF moment.

I bet Mariah's babies are going to be way cuter than the Jolie/Pitt children...

Again, I WANT TO SEE THE BABIES!

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:32pm.

CPS has a way too much free time on their hands if they took the time to investigate this.

Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:25pm.

Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:52pm.
Hotmami on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:48pm.

I bet her breastmilk has glitter flecks in it.

And, when the light hits it just right...

RAINBOWS!!!!!

LOL!!!

***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:23pm.

My Hospital-roommate and I drank Champagne after we had our kids. Had them 6 minutes apart. The nurses brought us the glasses..And if you want to kickstart lactating , drink Vitamalz. You can nurse the whole Maternity ward after a few bottles....

"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs

Submitted by Fraggle on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:22pm.

Hotmami on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 7:48pm.

I bet her breastmilk has glitter flecks in it.

And, when the light hits it just right...

RAINBOWS!!!!!

Submitted by MagnificentChichis on Thu, 05/26/2011 - 6:23pm.

How ridiculous! Even my OB says that half a beer or half a glass of wine is perfectly acceptable. We are losing our minds in this uptight country. I've had both lactation consultants and nurses recommend the beer thing, and I'm happy to report that The kind to drink for nursing purposes is Oatmeal Stout. Obviously, if you're too stupid or addicted to drink in small amounts that won't harm your baby, then don't do ANY of it. Cheers!