Broke Off, Dozed Off
Here's Xtina being carefully led out of a club in West Hollywood the other night with drunk eyes and a mouth full of smeared lipstick that lets you know when she wasn't sucking on her bitch's lips, she was sucking on a bottle of hooch! As for Matthew Rutler, he's got the mark of the Illuminati on his torso and the mark of the red lipstick beast scooted all over his mouth. These two raggedy ratchet hos had themselves a mouth party for two while the entire club probably watched with eyes wide open the same way they'd watch a sloth slurp up a bowl of mashed tomatoes in slow motion.
You know that the party didn't end here either. When they got back to Xtina's palace, she had a sword fight with Matthew's peen and a dill pickle in the jacuzzi before she passed out over the side above a puddle of regret. The gardener woke her up the next morning by blowing her face with a leaf blower. Snooki must be oh so proud of Snookitina!