Today Is The Day That Twitter Got GOOPED
Oscar-winning actress, cookbook author, lifestyle deity, purveyor of knowledge, gangsta rapper, country music superstar, fashion icon, working mother, Martha Stewart's idol, outdoor pizza oven enthusiast and the pride of Britain... And now Gwyneth Paltrow can add "social network savior" to her flowing list of achievements. Fishsticks will take her oversharing to frightening new levels now that she has joined both Twitter and Facebook. Up until a few hours ago, Fishy left poking to the common folk and thought that hashtag was a smoking game her husband played by himself down in his man cave to deal with her ass on a daily basis. But Fishy's about to do a whole lot of both.
Fishy first Tweet came in the form of a video tour of her nostrils. Fishy is trying to make you think that the video is of her hailing a cab in NYC, but nope. She has ulterior motives. She's trying to let you know that this is what your nostrils should look like. If they don't, then you better gargle them out with flax seed oil and work on your yoga flares.
And there's a "like" button on Fishy's Facebook page as of right now, but don't think it'll be there for long. I mean, it's a given that you'll "like" everything she posts.
via Gawker
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Submitted by Bitingontinfoil on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 9:55am.
Submitted by Bitingontinfoil on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 5:23pm.
I have this insufferably obnoxious twat.
LOLOLOLOLOL! I meant I HATE this insufferably obnoxious twat!! facepalm.
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LOL! Nice.
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Submitted by Bitingontinfoil on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 5:23pm.
I have this insufferably obnoxious twat.
LOLOLOLOLOL! I meant I HATE this insufferably obnoxious twat!! facepalm.
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YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
I congratulate, a magnificent strategy
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Fishsticks seems to have a lot of spare time on her hands.
Of course, if one's marriage is dead...
I wonder if she has a husbandmonger on speed dial?
GAWD I'd pay to see all us Dlisted bitches "like" her page and BOMB THE SHIT OUTTA IT! I have this insufferably obnoxious twat.
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YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
OK, this may not be a popular opinion, but I'm gonna give Goopy some props.
I mean, the girl has millions of dollars, she could just be sitting on her ass.
She does do things. She doesn't have to do ANYTHING.
Imo, the only thing wrong with her is that whatever quote comes out of her mouth is insufferably annoying.
To me, almost to the point of rage.
If she were a more likeable person who was based in reality (ie, most people do not have millions of dollars), her efforts might be more appreciated.
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GERONIMO!
Gwenyth "follows" no one. Only Twitter "friend" I have following her is Elvie in a blonde wig (Michael K) LOL.
1 tweet. 38,473 followers. I just hope they're all following her ironically.
I'mma lure Goopy in with my fields of zucchini on Farmville, ask her to be my neighbor, THEN, I'l let all my crops wither, mmwwahahahahahahaha.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 2:32pm.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:39pm.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:00pm.
Does this mean she's going to open an Etsy store too???
*fantasizes about Goopy's minimalist hipster crafts*
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Yes, soon she will announce her new line of endangered species sculptures, made from organic dryer lint and dolphin-free white glue.
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Say! I bet she's into needle felching! :^D
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Bwhahahaha! If that's the same kind of felching I'm thinking about it's more Craig's List and less Etsy! Unless, of course, she's selling performance art.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
Submitted by Wanted on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:23pm.
She looks like one of those rich bitches that run around uptown from boutique to boutique like its their career goal LOL
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Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:28pm.
Well, it can be QUITE a work out.
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Oh! Great way to keep fit.
But here's the REAL question: Does darting across the street from Marshall's to Nordstrom Rack count, or do you only burn calories at exclusive rich bitch boutiques????
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:39pm.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:00pm.
Does this mean she's going to open an Etsy store too???
*fantasizes about Goopy's minimalist hipster crafts*
_________________________________________
Yes, soon she will announce her new line of endangered species sculptures, made from organic dryer lint and dolphin-free white glue.
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Say! I bet she's into needle felching! :^D
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"I just remembered--I don't work here!!" ~Casey Anthony
Omg she is so trendy !!!! goop is for poop ,
let her make more crappy movies , she is really believing to be the example to follow . So let me guess is she giving more etiquette classes?
I turned the volume down the pain was less.....
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What do you mean, could've been a nurse? - She had white shoes.EDtv
my little white shoes. I looked like a fucking nurse.A chorus Line
haha I'm waiting for the Goop is poop, Gwen Can't Goop, and I hate when your rich friend buys something advertised by Goop facebook pages. Fuck it, I'll make one. :p
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 12:38pm.
I couldn't believe it one day when my significant other said (and I'm paraphrasing here), "is there anything she CAN'T do?" That was the nail in the coffin for me.
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So you broke up with that person right? That there comment is a deal-breaker and harbinger of a doomed relationship.
The scraped back ponytail may suit 14 year old runway models, but it does not suit her and her falsetto goodbye was plain scary.
Bitch is looking more like Jar Jar Binks everyday.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jar_Jar_Binks
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:43pm.
Whiskey Tango,
I watched "Centaurion" and "Blood Creek" and recently and "Fish Tank" last week.
You have me hooked on Mr. Fassbender. He is sessy.
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Isn't he? He is so gorgeous and a good actor to boot. I thought Centurion was excellent....it was really underrated, and I'm a Roman history geek so I was guaranteed to like it. I'm looking forward to seeing him AND James McAvoy in X-Men! (drool)
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
*cancels Twitter account*
Submitted by sybil: "With all of Gwyneth's vast accomplishments, when does she have time to fuck Chris Martin?"
Something tells me that act doesn't take too long.
Whiskey Tango,
I watched "Centaurion" and "Blood Creek" and recently and "Fish Tank" last week.
You have me hooked on Mr. Fassbender. He is sessy.
Her Facebook page lists her as "actress/director." What the heck did she ever direct??? Just this intro Twitter/FB video??
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat: "OH MY YES, PLEASE TEACH US HOW TO BE PROPER YOU FUCKING BITCH CUNT SNOBBY SLANTY NOSTRIL NON DICKSUCKING CUZ EWW GROSS PENIS SKIN IN MAH MOUF IS SO PEEE-EWWWW BITCH!!! HATE HATE HATE HATE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEE"
Anyone who hates jack-n-the-hats penis skin is dead to me.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:00pm.
Does this mean she's going to open an Etsy store too???
*fantasizes about Goopy's minimalist hipster crafts*
_________________________________________
Yes, soon she will announce her new line of endangered species sculptures, made from organic dryer lint and dolphin-free white glue.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:10pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:03pm.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:00pm.
Yes, there is such a thing as barrel of Khloe Kardashians.
I don't know about fun, but I am just a bit curious about the Anthony thing.
*shrugs*
----------------------
I understand the morbid curiosity but it just seems macabre to dwell on it for days upon days. I'm not say you specifically are doing that, but it seems like this very sad case has taken over this site sometimes, which I don't get since MK never talks about crime cases.
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Oh, I know you are not speaking of me specifically, and to be honest, until I stated to watch the trial for a few minutes on Saturday, I hadn't talked about this case since it started a few years ago. I am not morbidly curious, I was just wanting to know about the nanny thing.
Personally, the bitch needs to fry and that be the end of it all, IMO.
Have a good day Fishy. I am LATE for my meeting. Sooooo in trouble, but I got distracted by a phone call, and then dlisted.
See ya!
Submitted by Mother Superior on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:18pm.
This is highly sophisticated minimalist art of superior quality! It's the purest street photography, that shows the lifeless greyness of flooring in such an emotional and blunt way, that I will suggest it for the Pulitzer Prize. I'm touched! *wipes away tear*
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Lars Von Trier has met his match. I expect nothing less than the Cannes Palme D'Or next year for Goopy.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
Submitted by Wanted on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:23pm.
fucking hilarious! you know she has a bentley waiting around the corner with a third generation chauffeur. She looks like one of those rich bitches that run around uptown from boutique to boutique like its their career goal LOL
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Well, it can be QUITE a work out.
Slurpee's picture
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 12:25pm.
So, who's going to be the first one here to follow her and friend her?
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Me! Not on Twitter, but I did like her FB page, so if someone wants to stalk me, I'm one of the 400 or so people who 'liked' this post of hers. ;)
fucking hilarious! you know she has a bentley waiting around the corner with a third generation chauffeur. She looks like one of those rich bitches that run around uptown from boutique to boutique like its their career goal LOL
This is highly sophisticated minimalist art of superior quality! It's the purest street photography, that shows the lifeless greyness of flooring in such an emotional and blunt way, that I will suggest it for the Pulitzer Prize. I'm touched! *wipes away tear*
fishy: no! and now she's MIA!
YANA COME BACK!!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:12pm.
*talks about relationship*
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heehee Did we ever get to the bottom of who sent that email to Jana?
*interrupts snowy with details of my sex life*
_____________________________________________
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
*talks about relationship*
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:03pm.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:00pm.
Yes, there is such a thing as barrel of Khloe Kardashians.
I don't know about fun, but I am just a bit curious about the Anthony thing.
*shrugs*
----------------------
I understand the morbid curiosity but it just seems macabre to dwell on it for days upon days. I'm not say you specifically are doing that, but it seems like this very sad case has taken over this site sometimes, which I don't get since MK never talks about crime cases.
Submitted by parkerj on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:04pm.
Does Gwenny use face filler? The area next to her nose looks oddly stuffed
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There is something weird going on with her face/head. What is going on with her boney forehead? Did she not look at the video first because that whole thing is not flattering.
If Goopy announced her Twitter account on Twitter, nobody would know it was there. (None of us little people, anyway. William Joel probably knew yesterday.)
_________________________
"I just remembered--I don't work here!!" ~Casey Anthony
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 12:25pm.
I don't care what they say, I'd still tap you till Tuesday Gwenny.
but you're going to put a bag over her head beforehand right? Then when you're done chop it off, put in a box and mail it to that Mario Butthole chef right?
Just cause Mama told you, you were the most beautiful snowflake doesn't mean it's the troof Goop.
Does Gwenny use face filler? The area next to her nose looks oddly stuffed.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 1:00pm.
Yes, there is such a thing as barrel of Khloe Kardashians.
I don't know about fun, but I am just a bit curious about the Anthony thing.
*shrugs*
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 12:59pm.
Why did she need to video announce it?
I'm sure her first tweet or FB status update would have done the trick without such LOOK AT ME.
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Nope, and she's good at it too. Otherwise, why would every blog cover it? lol!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 12:56pm.
FUCK OFF FISHY!
2 birds one stone.
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hahahahahahahahaa
_____________________________________________
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
D-Does this mean she's going to open an Etsy store too???
*fantasizes about Goopy's minimalist hipster crafts*
_________________________
"I just remembered--I don't work here!!" ~Casey Anthony
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 12:58pm.
Sorry Fishy, M.E did say she was waiting for Open Post, but I asked her some questions, so I am the real bitch! ; P
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LMAO! So it's looking to be as fun as a barrel of monkeys (is that a thing?) in the OP today?
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/01/2011 - 12:57pm.
Evil, will post link in OP.
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Thanks M.E.
I hope OP is soon, I have a meeting in 15min. I am curious about this.
Apologies to the thread police. *hangs head*
Why did she need to video announce it?
I'm sure her first tweet or FB status update would have done the trick without such LOOK AT ME.