Dumb Bitch Is Still Dumb
If your "Paris Hilton is an Arrogant Asshole" tank needs refueling, then line it with a filter made of Valtrex pills and open up because this shit will fill you up and then some.
So, the first episode of Parasite Hilton's Oxygen reality show The World According To Paris (T.W.A.T. Pee) was watched by less people than she's given hand jobs to in the VIP section of Tao. Specifically, around 400,000 pairs of eyes watched a useless skank show us not-so-new ways on how she's useless. On a positive note, the new saying is "...suck harder than Paris Hilton's ratings" instead of "...suck harder than Paris Hilton on any given day."
Wonky, of course, is not taking any responsibility for the fact that her show tanked. Kathy Hilton plugged that mess harder than (you know what I'm going to write so just insert it here) on The View the other day and she also said that not a lot of people knew when she show came on. Well, Wonky is using that excuse for why her show is sucking the air out of Oxygen. A source tells Popeater:
"Paris is furious that the show didn't premiere at the time it was supposed to. "She worked her tail off doing promotion and publicity for the show and then because of a technical mistake, the show aired at a completely different time in a lot of markets.This could be the last nail in the coffin. She has been replaced by Teen Moms and Snooki. She would have been better off not doing a new reality show at all then doing one that proves no one cares."
A rep for Oxygen said that there were zero technical mistakes and the show premiered at 10pm on June 1st like it was supposed to.
If Oxygen marketed T.W.A.T. Pee for what it really is, Wonky's quick demise from the face of relevancy, maybe more hos would've watched it to see that trick go down in real time. But really, I'll tell Wonky the same thing Cristal Conners said to Nomi in Showgirls: "There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you." Or in Wonky's case, there's always someone messier and whorier stumbling down the stairs after you (see: Snooki).
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<-- wasted much needed functioning brain cells watching this herself.. i like her friend!
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
Paris has been busy with other projects like her motorcycle racing team and her new album also writing a new book. This girl isnt going anywhere! Sorry sad haters! Lol, The people with direct tv the show aired at the wrong time 7pm when it was suppose to air 9pm but once that is fixed the ratings will go way up! also the show was welcomed by many famous faces from demi lavoto to nicole richie and our princess has nothing to worry about sorry same cant be for you!
u rock paris
Sparing ones eyes from herpes is a personal choice, too bad nobody cares ya whore...was she born with a defect? And I so wish she'd remove those fucking contact lenses, is it fucking 1997?
Who is this bitch's audience? It used to be little girls, but they're not going to watch and look up to a 30-something. And most 30-somethings have nothing in common with this emotionally stunted whore. So...who's watching this shit?
Remember when Paris was the BIGGEST cunt to everyone in Hollywood? Lindsay, Britney, Tara Reid, Jessica Simpson?
That laughter you hear coming from a passed out gutter urchin is what remains of 'Taradise.'
Why is nothing ever this stupid bitch's fault? Her and her vile, enabling mother blame eeeeeeverybody else for her failure at, well, EVERYTHING.
And just like the gong show give her the hook already and drag her ass off.
I can only hope that this lone pustule of rejection infects the entire reality show genre in a deathly plague of public damnation.
Wellll obviously this racist beaky whore is getting her stank ass handed to her on a paper plate. Go pick up Shitters and will the pair o'youse old bitches go fuck off the planet puleeeze??? Stank asses.
I was one of the 400,000 and I am SO sorry. I haven't felt this icky since Charlie Sheen.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by Albatross on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 2:17pm.
I am so glad this whore's 15 minutes are FINALLY over.
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I have a feeling she's not finished yet. Her need to be in a spotlight, her insatiable craving for attention will not let her just fade into obscurity. She'll learn from her former bff Kim Lardassian, and next we'll hear that - GASP - "Paris Hilton is engaged!!!", the 50 carat wedding ring, photos everywhere, paparazzi chasing her, the cover of People Mag with her fiance.... Or she will walk with a little (fake) stomach bulge and the web and tabloids will speculate if she's pregnant...
Submitted by Nanners on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 11:16am.
One more note: Just like Xtina, Paris hasn't changed up her game in years. You can only mine your blonde, rich, bimbo act for so long.
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What?! But she a modern day Marilyn Monroe! The only blonde icon in a sea of blue-eyed brunettes covered in tats and pushing out their
silicone-filled strawberry-flavored glossy lips!
No but really she's had thousands of hours in the spotlight and she should bow out semi-gracefully, the only way that all good celeb-whores know how!
She was never beautiful. She always had that manly square jaw and the huge tranny hands and feet, the beak nose and the googly eyes. The fried blond hair and the contacts that make her eyes pop even more, coupled with the tons of make up she always wears make her look haggard and aged. She was once young which kind of masked the fact that she was no beauty, but now that's over with.
LMAO - it's about time this hook nosed beast's 15 mins. were up. Pooooor Wonky
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YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
Hahaha! NO ONE CARES, Paris!
WOW, she is really starting to look her age (even older). She would HATE that! And I thought the View gals could have grilled her a LOT more!
Her fake Barbi hair is what makes her seem so cheap. That and the fact that she can barely speak. She is totally inarticulate.
Yup. There sure is someone younger and more desperate for attention ready to knock you down the stairs. Thanks to the brainless fools who worship these asswipes. Good lesson for Parisite to learn. Like the time when she dissed Tara Reid for not being let into a night club. Now she is that girl.
"there's always someone messier and whorier stumbling down the stairs after you"
This is the best sentence describing "reality TV" I've seen so far. I've been wondering how long will wonky last. I thnik right now her walk of shame begins, when she realises she's one of many useless pieces of trash with no dignity or respect. Please, can we have nervous breakdown that would seem Brit Brit's one merely like bad hair day?
When I saw this in RSS I knew who it was going to be about. Mystical.
Tried to watch a little of this show online (just to see how much I could take..) and lasted less than three minutes. So incredibly phony.
aren't you a little old to have a reality show, missy?
https://twitter.com/#!/abross79
I am so glad this whore's 15 minutes are FINALLY over.
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I'm here for your entertainment...
no one does care. so, go away already.
T.W.A.T. Pee!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
And another "stolen" sex tape will be released in...5...4...3...2...1...
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
I realize this is a total fantasy but doesn't she have enough money and connections even to get into an average college or even a decent community college, I mean she literally sounds like the most ignorant stupidest person I have ever heard speak. She's in the George Bush/Sarah Palin league of ridiculously stupid times 10. Maybe she could have a quick convo with James Franco? She would be so much happier and might be able to do something with her life that would still allow her to be the stupid Barbie Bitch most of admittedly wanted to be at some point in our lives but thankfully grew out of she wants to be but in a positive light like running some kind of foundation to help the underprivileged etc etc. And then perhaps she could get therapy and some kind of psychotropics as well as talk therapy to help her deal with her borderline personality disorder, histrionics personality disorder and narcissistic disorder while getting into rehab to stay clean because it's obvious she is a drug addict, at this point most of the drugs she abuses are probably "legal" in the world of prescription drugs like most of Hollywood and shit omg I am so talking out of my ass I should have my own fucking bullshit reality show I swear but alas, I am not willing to sell hints of my vagina much less my soul for a this season's goddamn Louis Vuitton bag!
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
Also, newsflash, gurl, blue contacts are fuckin' nasty.
Ugh, I hate that cunt with every fiber of my being, I'm so glad her bubble has burst big time.
It may seem exaggerated but I think she has amply contributed to make the 2000's a truly crap decade. A crap decade for young women to be born and raised in, also a crap decade for anyone older and more talented who were force-fed images of her annoying self.
I hope this bitch dies soon. Her soul needs to be reincarnated into something better than a publicity whore, a slut, a cunt, and overall talentless bitch. I hope she comes back as a starving African baby, so she could at least die with dignity.
If the show was called "Paris According to the World: Episode 1 Supernova Suicide" and the earth took its own life to destroy her.
I'd watch it.
Time for the inevitable attention grabbing engagement to put some spotlight back on her. A marriage and then a baby are her last resorts. After those two, she's completely done.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
I watched her show out of curiosity. I saw The View clip and wanted to see if the show was as bad and everyone said. Also, I used to enjoy The Simple Life (mostly because I like Nicole Richie) so I thought I'd give Paris's show a *tiny* chance.
OH MY GOD she came off like such a fucking spoiled, immature, petty, whiny, vindictive cunt bitch. I knew she sucked, but her personality was HONESTLY worse than I thought it'd be. She makes every single Kardashian/Jersey Shore castmember/hell, even people from "The Hills" look humble and charming by comparison. I was sincerely offended by her behavior. I don't know how that skank has ANY friends. She talked behind everyone's back and acted as if everyone was beneath her. She has NO redeeming qualities whatsoever. If I were Brooke Mueller, I'd stay the fuck away from that toxic bitch. Brooke seemed nice enough, but definitely a lost soul. I also think it's unfortunate that they're playing out her drug addiction/Charlie problems on this shitty excuse for a reality show.
Anyway, I won't be watching this show ever again. Paris deserves every misfortune that comes her way.
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Douchechill!
Who can replace Kardashian & Co.?
Chastity Bono and lezzie girlfriend, who is really attracted to women, but now has to suck a fake cock, for her supper!
The visual is just nauseating.
Cher & Boytoy du jour can be a frequent guest and that Allman kid we know nothing about.
A sure fire winner!
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"Dancing is dreaming with your feet."
I actually switched to Oxygen and her show was on. I couldn't take it for two seconds. Her voice annoys the shit out of me and she has this attitude that makes me want to slap her until she passes out, then revive her and slap her again and again and again. Cunt Pride!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
It is humiliating for her!!!! Wonder what Bruce had to say about that AS IF anything he says even matters.
@Submitted by K2:
"I'm still disappointed that there are 400,000 idiots on the loose!"
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The numbers are always larger for the debut of a show (Sarah Palin's 1st show had big numbers, then they fell off a cliff).
The number of audience viewers for Paris' next show will be HUMILIATING.
whew Zonko. :)
guest, i saw it on ONTD last week. what a fucking asshole that KJ is. How humiliating for Kylie....
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Don't scream about, don't think aloud
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out
@.howdareyou....so true! the spinoff possibilities are endless!
@psl...when did kris announce the birth control thing? not surprising but gahhhh!!!!
the blue lenses and fake blonde are not enough to make you beautiful, Paris, no matter how much you wanna believe it. you're some ugly workaday face
Give it up Paris. You're SO five years ago.
Die screaming you pigspawn trollop.
(Just in an Atia of the Julii Polly Walker sort of mood)
I'm still disappointed that there are 400,000 idiots on the loose! Please let it atleast be the 14 to 18yr old demographic. Anyone older than that, watching that shitfest, should be embarrassed!
COLOR ME SURPRISED. The most exciting part of the 30 second promo they've been running every 2 minutes on Oxygen for the last 4 months is someone telling Paris she needs to go clean her room because she is a "grown woman and shouldn't live like this". Good overall advice for her.
Oh Parissucks, please don;t get me wrong.
I DESPISE the whole lot of those brainless, talentless sluts. But the mere fact that Paris' biggest nemesis could come along and steal it all away from Paris is such wonderful thing to see.
Zonko, I have to disagree. Although I love that KK stole PH's thunder, the K's have fucking multiplied and are much worse than this stupid bitch could ever be. Only because they are EVERYWHERE. For fuck's sake, Kris Jenner let the world know 15 year old Kylie is on birth control! do we need to know that?
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Don't scream about, don't think aloud
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out
and tomorrow is the Anniversary of her flat goitered ass being dragged back to jail! the pics of her crying in the Cop Car!
ah, how I loved that June 8th.......we had so much fun that day!
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Don't scream about, don't think aloud
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out
Submitted by The Fly on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 11:04am.
actually, yeah, you're right. we all would have watched that shit and it would have been a snarkapalooza around here of Olympic proportions.
wonder why she didn't think about it back in 2002? prob cuz she's not very bright. :P
I LOVE that Kim Kardashian (Paris' nemesis) completely stole Hilton's thunder. It would give me immense pleasure to see Kardashian make a movie that's a big hit. That would give Hilton a nervous breakdown.
Hilton's "career" is FINALLY OVER, and i couldn't be more happy about it.
Submitted by parkerj on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 11:10am.
Time for another sex tape, bitch.
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Good times. I vacantly remember my mind exploding when she swallowed. She actually gained major points with me back on that one sunny day.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.