Open Post: Hosted By Valentino

Here’s a tip if you ever run out of lube and are too lazy (or naked) to run to the store: Bring up this post on your computer device of choice, lay a paper towel over the screen, let it soak, pull it off and then wring it out over the genitals that need some wet to keep on whistling. Don’t forget to send a thank you note to the international treasure that is Valentino!

A pug’s best friend Valentino held court at The White Fairy Tale Love Ball in France last night
while the likes of Anne Hathaway, Natalia Vodianova and Daphne Guinness silently prayed that the SPF 10 million they slathered across their faces would protect them against the radioactive rays shooting off of his face. But Valentino is the real brave one here for showing his delicious hushpuppy face around a bunch of skinny skinnies who have been starving themselves for days to fit into their gowns. Seriously, staring at Valentino’s face makes me wish I was at a Panda Express with a red plastic tray in my hands and about to say the words: “And make that an extra serving of tangerine chicken with extra GHB gravy, thankyouverymuch.”

Here’s more stills from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Oompa Loompa Testicle.